How best to answer 'What are your preferred pronouns?' in an intervew

[NancyDrawed]

I have been out of the workforce for a very long time but finally have an in-person interview later this week.

The confirmation email is signed by a name followed by (he/him/his). I need to get a job. But I am trying to get my head around what I would say if I was directly asked what my preferred pronouns are.

On principle I would like to say 'I'm not a follower of that ideology so use whichever you see fit' or something along those lines, but is that likely to mean I have no chance of getting the job?

I am clearly female, so a small part of me would want to say he/him/his just to see the reaction!

It might not even come up at all, but I'd like to be prepared.

In reality I think I’d probably go for a halfway house of ‘I’m female’.
I’d be surprised if it came up at interview if it hasn’t already been asked for on your application form

It’s like someone asking you what name you’d prefer to be called by - it’s a courtesy, just to check they are addressing you how you’d prefer. It’s not a test, so don’t be a difficult arsehole - just tell them and move on. You’ll never hear another thing about it.

Sex based, like my oppression

It’s a difficult call if you’re really in need of this job.
I saw a job advertised that I would love but a huge part of the job advert talked about how they were members of the Stonewall Diversity scheme. Ultimately, I made the decision that I couldn’t work at a place like that.

I’d say ‘why are you asking that?’ and put it back to them

"oh I don't really mind"

I can't think of a possible reason why someone sitting across from you would need to know how to refer to you in the third person.

I very much doubt it'll come up - this is probably a suggested email field that they've opted to fill in and ime it doesn't necessarily reflect how invested they are in the ideology, keen beans, be-kinders and unthinking rule followers will likely all comply.

I/me/mine?

Oh, um, just the usual.

Or sorry, I don’t know quite what you mean.

Or, ‘Oh, can’t you tell?’

"I don't care/mind, pronouns are about me, not to me".

I've said, ' I'm more than happy for you to use the pronouns that align with my obvious biological sex' before. And whilst trying not to roll my eyes too hard.

I am sure 'me and I' will be acceptable after all you can't control what other people call you 🤭

I really don't understand this idea - the basis of the human language is that you have pronouns. Just saying I is using a pronoun. Now you may not agree with the idea that people should not be able to change their pronouns (I personally support it but each to their own) however ANYONE saying they don't believe in using pronouns clearly does not understand the English language.

Well, if they asked me that and I really needed the job, I would just smile and say: my pronouns are 'she', 'her', thank you for asking. I would bite the bullet if I really needed to.

If I had other alternatives, I would walk out. I would never choose to work for a woke place.

Looking surprised and saying "Why do you ask?" would work for me.

If I got a long spiel about "respecting identities" and "making everyone feel safe and comfortable", I'd check again, "So you need to know what third person pronoun I want to be used when talking about me?"

If the answer was "yes", then "People have always used 'she' to refer to me, as I'm female".

I'd love to use "sex based, like my oppression" because it sums up the whole farago, but I think this is the most practical. "Female pronouns are fine" isn't a political statement either way.

Id like to think I'd say something withering. In reality I'd just say she/her.

Or perhaps "whichever come most naturally to you".

I think you might have missed out on literally years of discussion about this.

Oh come on - of course you understand. The English language operates on the basis that people use mutually understandable shortcuts to get across an idea.

You're perfectly aware that the op understands that I and me are pronouns and that isn't what's being asked for when one is asked to perform the pronoun game.

In case you genuinely have missed it all - the purpose is to pretend that someone's physical appearance can never be used to make assumptions about the gender (because in this game, sex is irrelevant) of the person being asked the question.

It's dressed up as a simple courtesy, but in fact it's one of the statements of faith of the gender movement and indicates compliance with that faith.

Rubbish. Asking for your preferred pronouns has zip to do with language and is a proxy for asking if you "identify with your biological sex".

And all the disingenuous, wide-eyed "but you just used a pronoun when you said 'i'" is also disingenuous bullshit.

My preferred answer is "sex based like my oppression". You could say "the phrase 'preferred pronouns' is a transohobic phrase" or you could just say "oh Jane is fine" and kind of not understand?

🙌

Why is the phrase ‘preferred pronouns’ transphobic?

This
You don’t have to get political at a job interview

@Planktons it's been deemed transpobic because it supposes that we all choose who we are and what our gender identity is, whereas, as ane fule kno, we are born that way.

Because it could be really triggering for a trans person who hasn't come out yet - you're forcing them to either use the pronouns for the gender that they don't identify with, or out themselves before they're ready.

Not very kind. Not very inclusive. If someone wants you to use particular pronouns they can let you know.