Spouse says men can use Ladies to change baby nappy?

[Bunty2727]

Im not a mum. I just went into the public toilet (to put up some single sex signs lol) and as I approached a man was just about to enter with a baby, I said excuse me I dont think you are allowed to use the ladies, he replied, pointing at the baby change sign, you can go in first if you like, I repeated, I dont think you can use the ladies, when I came out he had gone. Spouse said Im wrong, he’s allowed. googled and cannot see an answer?

Also hilarious that you tell me that I can’t comment, as I haven’t ‘walked the walk’ when I have a daughter, Like I said your ideology seems to be more important over any practical compromises, needed to live together.

That's quite the 15-minute neighbourhood you are in, if you are never more than 5 minutes away from a gender-neutral changing facility.

My husband is on SPL, and there are absolutely loads of places that only have baby changing facilities in the women's toilets. The needs of the child come first, in all situations. This includes the baby's need to access appropriate changing facilities and not be left sat in its own poo. I would be furious if my baby was put on the toilet floor, and anyone who claims they wouldn't be is lying.

Couldn't get worked up over this tbh. The ladies loose are cubicles so I can still go and pee in private and the dad can change his child's nappy. No harm done.

You might want to have a seat before you read the rest of this post.

Childless and childfree people are allowed on Mumsnet. There's even an entire board called Mumsnetters Without Children.

I'm sure that dad will love the sight of me washing period blood off my hands after wrangling my mooncup. The loos are sex-segregated for a reason.

I've changed my babies on toilet floors a few times, as well as on the grass in a park and in the car boot. Don't most people have a little fold out changing mat in their bags anyway? It's not like the baby actually lies directly on the toilet floor.

You are stirrer
The child goes to the opposite sex not the parent
it’s always been the same and the women’s are often not nice too so give that one up
Do not assume anything about me
you havnt got a clue but i can see you’re not a reasonable person so go argue with someone else
Never ever assume

Wow - glad you told me to sit down- that truly is shocking! Is there a specific board for people, who join specifically to push a political agenda too?

It’s possible to change a baby on a lap if not pooey
There is no excuse to walk into a woman’s safe … Take baby home.. Simple

@MaidOfAle oh bloody hell, he's not watching you wash anything really is he, he's changing a flaming nappy. You clean whatever the hell you like, he can clean his baby's bum and you can both go about your business afterwards. It's not difficult really, just people choosing to be difficult.

You've already told us you are 60 - so really will not have recent experience of parental toilet etiquette.... and as you are someone who has already said you wanted to scream at an innocent father (in front of his daughter)- I'd suggest you are anything but reasonable. A person who creates those kind of unnecessary dramas really is a 'stirrer'.

@MaidOfAle I'm guessing you'd hate my child's school - a big unisex toilet block with a big communal sink area in the middle!!!

It’s totally shit that men’s toilets don’t have changing facilities but that doesn’t mean use the ladies. I’ve improvised and changed my baby all kind of places where there’s been no facilities, including the pram tucked away in a corner.

If there’s no men’s changing facilities I don’t think anyone could complain at a man doing the same.

Which agenda are you thinking of?

Presumably the signs below mean accessible toilet and baby change space. You dint have to be both. You can require access ability OR you could require the baby change facility.
So logic would then suggest the next sign means woman and/or baby facility. You don't have to be both.

Major UK city, living fairly central so maybe that means it's my experience is an outlier. In the city centre you're rarely 5 minutes away fromn a changing station.

I was gang sexually assaulted in a mixed changing room at my primary school and still have PTSD, so yes, I hate mixed changing and toileting facilities. Not quite the "let's have a giggle at the pearl-clutching prude" post you were thinking of, was it?

It is the law that children over the age of eight must have single sex toilets and changing rooms. If your children are over eight, their school is breaking the law.

Are you kidding? Watched the news recently?

Someone shot Donald Trump yesterday. Is that what you were thinking of?

Perhaps you'd like to tell that to the little girl sexually assaulted by "Katie" Dolatowski. You let one man in, you let them all in.

No.

We can carry on playing 20 questions or you can tell me what you're on about. I think I last turned my TV on in 2017 so no, I don't watch the news.

This is such a bad-faith reply from you. Feigning ignorance when this entire thread is on the Sex/Gender board, and trans issues vs women's rights is a major story (particularly today after Wes Streetings comments re puberty blockers), is bizarre. While I understand you are angry following trauma - not everyone is your enemy. Most of us are just trying to muddle through this world, trying to harm as few people as possible - the people pushing agendas, without nuance are not being practical. We can't un-exist trans people, by just saying they aren't who they believe they are. Demographic change alone means thats not possible.

and victimising some innocent father, isn't going to help anyone either

It's not bad faith at all. I had no idea that Wes Streeting's comments had even made the news because I don't watch the news.

What is bad faith is you calling me a liar by accusing me of "feigning ignorance". It's also offensive.

Wanting female loos to be for females only isn't trying to "un-exist" trans people, it's saying that TW's feeling of being unsafe in the men's loos isn't women's problem to solve. End male violence and the gent's will become safe. Establish single-user loos because they can be used by anyone. None of this requires saying "hey penisy people, come on into the ladies'" and trampling all over religious women and sexual assault victims in the process.

In current year, that men cannot change their own child's nappy in some venues without entering a female space is a matter of sex discrimination. We don't solve this with even more sex discrimination, which is what taking women's spaces away is. The lack of changing tables that are accessible to men is not for women to fix by sacrificing our female spaces, but for men to fix by demanding changing tables in the gent's. Women are not here to fix men's problems.