Used an 'all genders' bathroom today

[Dominoodles]

Sent to the theatre today and ended up in an 'all genders' bathroom. Walked in and came face to face with a man and we both instinctively apologised to each other. There was this instant understanding that we should not be sharing that space.

The toilet itself was awful. There was urine splattered all over the seat, a pool of urine on the floor around the base of the toilet, and no sanitary bin that I could see.

I can't say I felt unsafe, exactly - the only man in there was perfectly polite. But it didn't feel 'all genders'. It felt like I was in the men's and everything was covered in pee and nothing catering to women at all. I felt like an intruder, and that it was not a place for women.

I never gave any thought to the concept before but now I feel really uncomfortable about it and I don't really know how to put it into words. What are your thoughts on 'all gender' public bathrooms? I'd love to pick the brains of some ladies here.

Which theatre was this?

The Hippodrome in Birmingham, its otherwise a beautiful theatre but the bathroom was awful

Please complain. I thought they had to provide sanitary bins.

I have used them twice.

First time: came out of cubicle to see man zipping up his flies. Think he was more panicked than I was, he hadn't realised he might have to change his routine if women might be around.

Second time: basically what you describe. Piss everywhere. Utterly grim.

My only thought is that maybe there was only sanitary bins in some of the cubicles? Or maybe I was just too distracted to notice them elsewhere?

Oh actually 3 times - last was Birmingham Rep.

Yes, the cubicles were enclosed with a sink + sanitary bin in each. But they were also down a corridor you couldn't see down so you didn't feel safe. Nobody liked it, male or female.

I would definitely complain to the Hippodrome management. That's not at all what this designation of toilet should be. They should be self contained with a sink and hand dryer and floor to ceiling doors. It's not acceptable.

I used one in a resturant recently. While i was on the loo, two men came in... sounded drunk, quite loud, one i think was vomiting in the other loo. Braced myself and exited to the shared sink area and the chap that was there was so confused, he said he thought it was the men's and seemed as though he wished he wasn't there. So yeah, i felt uncomfortable, and so did he...i genuinely hate mixed sex loos. Dirty, smelly and uncomfortable.

I've used an all genders toilet (the watershed , Bristol). In my experience it was clean, and I didn't feel unsafe. But it just felt wrong. And my husband felt the same way. And I'm unlikely to go there again.
But we're going to have to get used to it, aren't we?

I go to a cinema and arts centre that has lovely, well designed, new all gender toilets in the main area and still has some of the old sex divided facilities in a back area that I think a lot of the customers are not aware of.
I used the new ones a few times and encountered exactly the same as you, OP, levels of cleanliness poor and splatters of urine and smell. I don't use them any more I use the old ones.
My feeling is they've spent a lot of money and effort to be all up to date and shot themselves in the foot in the process.

We went to Stockholm recently who seen miles ahead of UK and almost every public bathroom was mixed sex. It was fine other than DH moaning about having the queue when he never normally does! However they were incredibly clean and had sanitary bins available so no issue.

I wouldn't want my youngest going to the toilet on her own if it was mixed, it just wouldn't feel safe. Obviously not all men are perverts or child molesters but I just wouldn't feel comfortable.

Men's toilets are notorious for being disgusting so I'm not looking forward to using them.

On their website, it says that the all genders toilet offers cubicles and that there are designated female, male and accessible toilets on other floors. If this wasn't your experience then they are misrepresenting the situation.
People will go there, believing there are designated sex segregated toilets, as claimed.

I don't think I'd have batted an eye if it was an all genders seperate bathroom, like a single toilet in a room, but it was normal crappy cubicles and it felt so wrong.

I’m hoping if we complain enough about the piss covered seats, make it clear it’s leading to us giving lower ratings on TripAdvisor etc, they will work out they either need to spend significantly more money on cleaning or go back to separate men’s and women’s bogs.
I have had a couple of experiences with men not shutting doors, zipping up flies etc, but the piss covered seats is the main problem because it’s depressingly common in places where they have introduced all gender loos for political rather than practical reasons. Works fine in Costa because they clean them frequently. If they are not going to do that I don’t see why we should put up with it.

The floor we were on only had these toilets, and I didn't see any signs suggesting there were different toilets on other floors. If I'd known I'd have gone downstairs to find a ladies!

i genuinely don’t care about mixed toilets. Loads of cafes only have one that everybody has to use, or two cubicles that are for everybody. I have a massive issue with dirty loos though 😡 and I don’t see why designating them as mixed means they are not kept clean and tidy.

They should clearly mark them because they certainly claim it on their website!

Theres a mixed toilet when you go and see Cabaret in London.

I have no problem with bumping into a man in there but oh my god the SMELL!!

wasnt somrething I had given any thought to before but it stank of urine in there in a way that women’s loos really don’t.

Horrible. I can't cope with that smell.

I used the ladies lavatories in Morrisons today. There was poo on the seat 🤷‍♀️

As a female engineer back in the day often the only toilets were men's (disgusting Portaloos often), fortunately my male colleagues would guard the door for me.

I always try to avoid mixed sex toilets. I do not want to be vulnerable and self conscious in them or for my kids to be vulnerable around men in them. I very much value the man-free space, that a women’s toilets is.

This thread should be pinned up for every planner who thinks going mixed sex is something progressive. They’re totally regressive, with a disproportional risk and impact burdened only on women.

Everone should see the links to the excellent Dr Clara Greed talking about why women need women’s toilets, on the thread. I hope women start suing public bodies for sexism because it feels like our women’s toilets are being pulled out at a dangerous rate. Women need women-only toilets. We always have done and always will do. Men who don’t like that are free to campaign for a third space for them to use.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3203454-What-do-you-use-the-womens-toilets-for

I used all gender toilets in Vancouver recently. They were separate cubicles with shared basins in a tourist spot - big, new and clean. But the weird thing was the massive window along the wall to the street. I assume this is for safety? It wasn't an entirely comfortable experience going into a cubicle with a man just the other side of a flimsy wall, and then washing hands next to him, with the whole world looking in wondering why they can see into the public toilets.
At the airport they had 5 different toilet blocks next to each other - men's, women's, any gender, baby change and disabled.

Were they fully enclosed and private? Because they soon will have to be under the new designs. Which in itself brings up massive safety problems (as well as hygiene problems). No one will know if someone is in there incapacitated or being assaulted.
If you feel ill and head to the toilet you will need to tell someone so that they know you are in there. Enclosed toilets are dangerous for people who are at risk of collapse such as those who are elderly and people with diabetes, epilepsy, heart conditions and strokes. These enclosed cubicles in mix sex public areas are not safe.

Health and Safety has been replaced with ‘Privacy and Dignity’ . Because they are private and enclosed, they will open from the outside quickly, so it’s all in the assaulter’s favour.

Also emergency evacuations are much more risky as you can’t see who is in the toilets quickly. And studies show the reduced ventilation means you are more likely to catch the diseases of the people who went in before you.

OP if you want the stats pm me.