Used an 'all genders' bathroom today

[Dominoodles]

Sent to the theatre today and ended up in an 'all genders' bathroom. Walked in and came face to face with a man and we both instinctively apologised to each other. There was this instant understanding that we should not be sharing that space.

The toilet itself was awful. There was urine splattered all over the seat, a pool of urine on the floor around the base of the toilet, and no sanitary bin that I could see.

I can't say I felt unsafe, exactly - the only man in there was perfectly polite. But it didn't feel 'all genders'. It felt like I was in the men's and everything was covered in pee and nothing catering to women at all. I felt like an intruder, and that it was not a place for women.

I never gave any thought to the concept before but now I feel really uncomfortable about it and I don't really know how to put it into words. What are your thoughts on 'all gender' public bathrooms? I'd love to pick the brains of some ladies here.

No, it was a couple of cubicles with an open area for hand washing. Not very private

Please complain. Our school introduced all gender toilets. One parent doggedly complained for over a year but the head kept insisting no one else had complained. Fast forward this year the head moans to me toilets are her number one topic with parents, above all else. A frank answer would be she's reaping what she sowed.

Anyway, always complain. Make your opposition heard. If it joins a chorus of voices perhaps some fucker will jump to attention eventually

My old office had unisex loos, but somehow the unspoken rule became the first two were for women and the last two for men. They were fully contained — ie, had loo and washbasin within one cubicle, so you never came face-to-face with anyone else— but I thought it was interesting that even so we gravitated towards certain cubicles according to gender. I do think self-contained cubicles are the way to go, to be honest.

Well, you probably voted for it. So get used to it.

Who thought mixed toilets were a good idea? It's a given that they're more likely to be piss sodden floors than if solely female as lots of males miss. Not one person I know, including my male partner likes them.

I said this on another thread but I was in a pub during the day which had gender neutral toilets, I was in and two males were pissing with the cubicle doors wide open. A woman came in with a young girl and ushered her past. She looked terrified. I just thought yeah this is inclusivity 🙄.

No, we can refuse to accept it and complain Every Single Time. Make a big fuss, be active in their social media etc. I'm local to Bristol and will not spend my money in places with mixed sex loos.

I was at an outdoor event recently and used the all gender portaloos several times. They were disgusting, which I put down to them being portaloos until I discovered the single sex ones as I was leaving, which were so much cleaner!

Did anyone go to uni in Leeds about 10-13 years ago? Some of the clubs there had mixed toilets and it was never even talked about it was just accepted.

https://sex-matters.org/posts/stand-up-for-single-sex-services/the-vexed-issue-of-toilets/

Rycbar · Today 20:41
Did anyone go to uni in Leeds about 10-13 years ago? Some of the clubs there had mixed toilets and it was never even talked about it was just accepted.”

First trip overseas was 53 years ago. Public toilets were GN (and much nicer than public toilets in the UK at the time: lovely tiles everywhere, fully cubicled and an attendant). Really can’t see the issue.

I used one at the weekend, it was spotless and I felt fine, fancy toiletries too. We also have mixed sex toilets at work so I guess I’m used to it. Never had any issues.

We have them at work - I don't object in principle to men being in there (but I understand why some do and we also have sexed toilets I could choose to use) but on average I have to go in three cubicles before finding one without piss all over the seat 🤬

And an attendant spells out the difference.

I used a 'cubicles' loo a few years ago (the one next to it was a 'cubicles and urinals' loo). There was a queue in the basins area. Some of the men in the queue were saying things like, "This is a good idea, it's much nicer than the men's loos."

Gender neutral my arse. Everybody knew exactly which loos they were in. Some of the men had the good grace to look uncomfortable, some even backed right out and went in search of the 'cubicles and urinals' loo.

We don't use loos with our gender. Imagine there were Jewish loos, or left wing loos - what nonsense. Single sex loos are truly gender neutral. Nobody cares what you believe in the women's loos, as long as you are using them with your female body.

I got slaughtered for posting similar recently.

Mixed toilet and was piss allover the seat and floors and everyone was saying it was probably the women too as they're just as dirty 🤨

I think I unintentionally used an "all genders" bathroom today as well!

I mean... I know for a fact I didn't, it was definitely the ladies, but both the lid and the seat itself were up in the cubicle I was left with (all the others were full).

I asked my mum if the seat was up in hers and she said no, so it's not like it had recently been cleaned and left up by mistake or anything, also it was the middle of the day so very unlikely!

It may be silly as at the end of the day it's just a seat, I can just put it down, but I left feeling uncomfortable and on edge nonetheless.

Ever since my 20s due to the massive queues in women’s toilets I’ve nipped into the mens loos, often cheerfully waving at disconcerted men! To this day I still do.

Mens toilets definitely smell worse, but I’m constantly horrified by the horrendous mess in women’s toilets. People seem to think it’s acceptable to discard items on the floor including used tissues and wrapping for tights, plus chuck tampons down the loo which don’t flush. Lovely. So, in many ways I think womens toilets are as awful as mens.

I am not bothered in the slightest over sharing toilets (I’ve seen enough men pissing in the street to realise you can’t escape penises) but I appreciate a lot of women are and their needs should be catered for.

Used one a few years ago in the RAH. There was a sort of channel all around the edge of the room (toilet and sink in the one fully enclosed cubicle). It was literally full of piss. Every woman coming out was commenting on how disgusting it was (maybe some men were unimpressed too, but I didn't personally hear any complaining, maybe they're used to it). It was also all over the floor in front of the toilet so taking your trousers down was risky unless you could balance your bag, coat and hold trousers aloft (no coat hook). I guess as men can stand up they don't have to worry too much.

The other was more recent - The Donmar. These are different each toilet was probably initially men and women but have now all been designated mixed sex. They have an additional sign on the door of some that shows a urinal. Most men I encountered using the toilet at the same time did not seem to like this set up at all. Upon opening the door to find a queue of women makes them look all nervous and go back out to check they haven't got it wrong. This particular performance (went twice) had a much more women heavy audience, so men in the loo queue were in the minority. At one point whilst inside, waiting for a cubicle to come free, the older lady behind me pushed the main door shut to a man trying to enter telling him to go find the one with urinal in it. He did, quite happily. She declared she was 'too old for this shit'. Doesn't seem like many people men or women, unless using them for validation purposes, actively like them.

And an attendant spells out the difference.

Well quite, Andthereitis, easily solved.* *

Every time I read a thread like this it takes me right back 30 years to an night out for my friends hen party. I went to the toilet and as I sat I felt I was being watched. I looked up and saw a man wearing make up and wig he obviously used them to access the toilets left the loo and the hotel before I was able to report it (doorman had seen him leave) Still feel uncomfortable evert time I'm in a public toilet.

Museum in Copenhagen, we were there for a whole day so went several times with small children. Every single time I encountered a man he looked panicked, one even backed out when he saw me in there. Makes me think about men's entitlement or just seeing a toilet sign and assuming it is for them and then being surprised about the shared space.

Used a Bristol park, public loos recently.

3 cubicles, 2 of them mixed sex, one of them for men only (assume urinals).
That really irritated me, I can't lie.

I don't like mixed sex toilets. The reasons are too obvious to waste my time spelling it out...

Any bathroom men use is going to be filthy. Some of them don't even wash their hands after taking a dump, FFS. The last "all genders" restroom I used a few weeks ago was a disgusting pit. I keep a small bottle of sanitizing spray in my purse, which I use to sanitize the toilet seat, toilet flusher, faucet and door handle in any public restroom.

Nope hate it.

Just embarrassing and feels wrong.

I was on a business visit to one of the ancient Oxford colleges recently and needed the loo while I was there. Directed down some stairs where there were two doors both labeled "gender neutral toilet"

Picked the first door but just as I walked through a bloke came out, I took a moment to see a large metal urinal and a single cubicle. Didn't take the time to check the cleanliness or presence of sanitary bin but it clearly wasn't what I needed. Went to the other door and obviously it was what I needed.

Given that gender and sex are not the same thing why not have loos labeled as gender-neutral-for-those-of-any-gender-and-of-the-female-sex and gender-neutral-for-those-of-any-gender-and-of-the-male-sex so we know what is the other side of the door at least. Clearly those who know the layout are going to know which door is theirs so it's just unwelcoming for visitors not to give any clues.