Used an 'all genders' bathroom today

[Dominoodles]

Sent to the theatre today and ended up in an 'all genders' bathroom. Walked in and came face to face with a man and we both instinctively apologised to each other. There was this instant understanding that we should not be sharing that space.

The toilet itself was awful. There was urine splattered all over the seat, a pool of urine on the floor around the base of the toilet, and no sanitary bin that I could see.

I can't say I felt unsafe, exactly - the only man in there was perfectly polite. But it didn't feel 'all genders'. It felt like I was in the men's and everything was covered in pee and nothing catering to women at all. I felt like an intruder, and that it was not a place for women.

I never gave any thought to the concept before but now I feel really uncomfortable about it and I don't really know how to put it into words. What are your thoughts on 'all gender' public bathrooms? I'd love to pick the brains of some ladies here.

Or a lavatory if you want to be U about such things

as women we build our behaviour around the likelihood of queues in public toilets, whereas men aren't in the habit of doing that because usually they don't need to.

my late dad, bless him, was a long distance lorry driver. Many of the early years were before the extensive motorway network and services. His mental map of Britain involved routes planned around the location of transport caffs and public conveniences. His motto was “never pass up the opportunity for a wee”. When I passed my test his advice wasn’t around driving, it was “don’t ever pass a services thinking you can hang on till the next one because there could be a traffic jam round the next corner”. Every trip as a family involved him giving us notice that we were approaching somewhere with free loos and did anyone want to go, and were we sure.

He knew and understood, even as he knew he was always able to take the male emergency option of finding a bush. I never saw him do that though, he was a gentleman.

Hate to break it to you, but there are people of other nationalities posting here.

If it ‘was utterly bizarre’ then surely it was an extremely unusual occurrence? It must have been if the cleaning staff refused to deal with it as it was above their normal duties.
So a one off situation then, where there was probably someone with a mental health issue.

The OP was in Birmingham - in the West Midlands, not Alabama.

Agree
Usually with children that sort of behaviour can be a sign of SA or other issues. So it normally has to be taken very seriously (aside from the health issue). Its also the sort of thing you see in prisons in the most disturbed prisoners, or those with no other power. So a grown adult (male or female) doing it in an work setting is really weird and out of the norm.
Whereas, men weeing all over seats/toilet floors is not out of the norm at all. I can't imagine a whole team of cleaners refusing to clean because of that - hardly any men's toilets would be cleaned if they did.

Not sure why that means people in other countries can't participate in their own vernacular.

I’ve never heard the word bathroom used for a toilet until the last couple of years when it’s become common currency. It’s an American term that’s been absorbed into our language, but I don’t like it at all and don’t use it. A toilet has always been a WC or Lavatory in Britain. Bathroom is a euphemism designed to gloss over the fact that main purpose of a toilet is to urinate or defacate rather than bathe. A bathroom is mainly situated in a house, it’s not a public convenience.

True. Though 'lavatory' means a place to wash, and 'toilet' means to get washed and dressed - both original meanings. WC for water closet is fine. I too find 'bathroom' irritating and don't use it. It makes me want to say 'you mean the pee-shop' or possibly 'd'you mean the shit house?' Will MN delete this?

Hiya! For reference, I don't typically call them bathrooms. In this case, the sign on the door stated 'all genders bathroom' and that's what I was quoting.

Cloakrooms was where cloaks were stored by the toileting area. The smell of ammonia was thought to rid the cloaks of fleas and moths.

Pongs put to use!

Fascinating! Did it work?

I also find it really irritating. I am often tempted to act all ignorant and say wow, they have baths in theatre or workplace toilets, that’s novel! But I just quietly grrrrr

It’s a bizarre thing to do if it didn’t but haven’t had to test out the theory myself!

Garderobes. Furs were hung in the ante-chamber to the lavatory, so the smells would keep the moths away. We get the word 'wardrobe' from this. A wardrobe was originally a room, not a cupboard.

I was told the cloakroom story from a castle guide so not sure of its origin. The castle ‘toilets’ were ‘fun’ you did your business through a seat with a hole that jutted out from the wall so it just fell from the castle down to the floor outside.

Should have said ‘in the olden days, the castle ‘toilets’ were fun….!!!!

The garde robes hung over the moat, so that's where everything went - ish. Walls got a bit stained. One reason for moving on to your other castle, whilst that one was cleaned up. Bear in mind that the exterior walls of castles were white-washed.

The residue from the latrines (if it didn't go into a moat), and for that matter any other cesspit or similar, was collected for use as fertiliser.

In the Tudor period the collectors were known as "gong farmers", 'gong' meaning a shithouse or the contents if its pit.

Waste not, want not.

I loathe all gender toilets. Invariably there is piss on the seat and floor. I touch as little as possible.

Me too.

*The residue from the latrines (if it didn't go into a moat), and for that matter any other cesspit or similar, was collected for use as fertiliser.

In the Tudor period the collectors were known as "gong farmers", 'gong' meaning a shithouse or the contents if its pit.

Waste not, want not.*

Also for tanning leather and for making gunpowder. I think it was possibly also used in dying fabric.

Urine can be used in dyeing, for instance in a woad fermentation vat. I don’t know of any dyeing processes that use faeces.

I love Mumsnet for odd facts like this!