There's nothing I can do about this, is there?

[Acunningruse]

Visited a different city today for work and went to a branch of Caffè Nero. I was served by what was very clearly a man, despite his attempt to look female and the fact he was wearing a she/her badge. Said man was wearing extremely tight leggings which, as he was wearing a waist-length t-shirt, meant his manhood was obviously visible. His appearance was a source of mumbling/muttering in the queue and he seemed to be enjoying the attention with a lot of hair-flicking.

I m not able to articulate why this made me so uncomfortable- other than the fact that no way in hell would I want to share a bathroom or changing room with this person.

But there's nothing at all to be done, is there? As any objection would surely be met with accusations of "discrimination " and "be kind".

Just so so frustrating. I just wanted to scream "you are not a woman!!!!" But I can't, can I.

I've had people be rude about the fact that I can't wear a bra. We are adults. Are we not used to human bodies yet?

👍

?

It’s a cock and balls, mate.

No one should have to look at a cock and balls non-consensually. It’s why blokes trousers have been made from heavy weight fabrics since the dawn of commercial fashion.

edited to add: a cafe isn’t an over 18s venue, so no, not everyone who sees this staff member’s member is an adult.

Personally I would just not look very long

Personally, I would like not to see it at all.

I think that's the right way to go about it. Oy, mister, cock and balls are exposed, breaking criminal law there sir, (sexual offences act 2017)

It's life lol, it's fine. This person wasn't flashing. I would never want to make someone feel insecure about their body because I was looking at their crotch. I think some people on here need to see and experience more of the world. When did we become so incredibly prudish and disconnected from our bodies? They could see an outline, no one died.

I'd be posting the photos to X/Twitter, asking if this is appropriate attire for a customer facing role where children could be, and see what the general consensus is.

I'd bet my last bag of Malteasers that the majority wouldn't be 'that's so rude of you, just look away'.

It's life lol, it's fine. This person wasn't flashing. I would never want to make someone feel insecure about their body because I was looking at their crotch. I think some people on here need to see and experience more of the world. When did we become so incredibly prudish and disconnected from our bodies? They could see an outline, no one died.

Would that be fine in a soft play cafe?

You don’t get to consent for me.

If you like seeing a strangers cock and balls, that’s your thing.

Sure! I wouldn't kick up a fuss. Don't toddlers run around on the beach?

That's not a boundary, that is a rule you're creating for others. She wasn't doing anything to anyone. A boundary would be leaving the room.

Sure! I wouldn't kick up a fuss. Don't toddlers run around on the beach?

Ah yes, a beach! Where people are expected to wear erm... beachwear! So therefore not considered somewhat inappropriate. I'd still say see-through speedos would be inappropriate on a beach though, big prude that I am.

Guess where see-through leggings showing genitalia shouldn't be worn. A soft play cafe, and many many other places where people haven't given their consent to see cock and balls.

Sigh.

Is it my imagination or do we still have laws against flashing etc? While this man has some fabric covering his genitals, he is inappropriately dressed for working in a cafe which is open during office hours. If he wishes to dress like that in a night club, then that would be his choice, and the choice of the night club management.

So what we're talking about really is arbitrary social norms. Nothing was see through. OP could see that they had genitalia, that is all.

Let's be clear that 'biological gender' is not a thing and does not exist. There's biological sex (fact) and gender (social constructs made up by people).

There's no biological sex spectrum (fact) but gender is made up by people so can be as much of a spectrum as anyone wants it to be.

I'd be giving this particular cafe a wide birth from now on OP.

So what we're talking about really is arbitrary social norms. Nothing was see through. OP could see that they had genitalia, that is all.

We're talking about inappropriate clothing in a workplace. You know like how doctors don't go to work in a hospital in swimming costumes. That sort of thing. Common decency.

And I think it's a huge barrier. It has nothing to do with decency. I previously mentioned that I am unable to wear anything constricting my chest, that has been a big barrier when it comes to finding work.

And I think it's a huge barrier. It has nothing to do with decency. I previously mentioned that I am unable to wear anything constricting my chest, that has been a big barrier when it comes to finding work.

It really does. I'm sure there are suitable jobs out there that call for one to have their tits out if they really can't be restricted as you say. Suitable being the word here.

Or jobs that don't require any person facing at all. WFH jobs have really taken off.

That's really rude.

But not rude to see genitalia in places where it's not appropriate or where consent hasn't been given to see? There are plenty of non customer/people facing roles. We have different understandings of decency and appropriateness it appears.

Social norms aren’t arbitrary though, are they?

Work dress codes are for decency and safety. If this staff member wore the sort of apron that is standard in Starbucks etc no
one would have to complain about seeing cock and balls.

You have a medical issue preventing you from wearing a bra. This chap is doing it because he can and most likely gets off on it. The transwomen that feel uncomfortable with their bodies wouldn't be dressed like that so he's most likely a fetishist.

No, that person wasn't trying to hurt anybody. You tried to hurt me by saying that and it worked.