There's nothing I can do about this, is there?

[Acunningruse]

Visited a different city today for work and went to a branch of Caffè Nero. I was served by what was very clearly a man, despite his attempt to look female and the fact he was wearing a she/her badge. Said man was wearing extremely tight leggings which, as he was wearing a waist-length t-shirt, meant his manhood was obviously visible. His appearance was a source of mumbling/muttering in the queue and he seemed to be enjoying the attention with a lot of hair-flicking.

I m not able to articulate why this made me so uncomfortable- other than the fact that no way in hell would I want to share a bathroom or changing room with this person.

But there's nothing at all to be done, is there? As any objection would surely be met with accusations of "discrimination " and "be kind".

Just so so frustrating. I just wanted to scream "you are not a woman!!!!" But I can't, can I.

I’ll say it again.

Would you be happy with a person wearing tight clothing that clearly showed their penis and testicles teaching young children. If not then why not?

Not trying to hurt anyone, not my intention at all.

Why is the onus on the boundary pushing inappropriate wearing person, than the person having no choice but to view this, in a coffee shop? Why are they more important?

How do you know what ‘that person’ intended?

Being asked to adhere to public decency norms isn’t hurtful.
If you have a disability then ‘reasonable adjustments’ can be considered by HR, however there is no disability that requires the display of cock and balls in a cafe.

if truly have time enough on your hands to go and make some stranger miserable because you laid eyes on his penis for a few second

Her penis, you bigot!

(After Ricky Gervais)

This 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@Karensalright I suppose by that logic a penis is also for urinating out of as well as a sexual organ? I suppose you can't rape with a pair of breast though...

We are all so sick of this bullshit.

This man is forcing people to participate in his fetish. Yes, that is hurting people, because in decent society, people keep their sex jollies to themselves and don't force ordinary people to be a part of it. To do so is disgusting.

Hope that helps.

however there is no disability that requires the display of cock and balls in a cafe.

This. On a placard

@nobodysdaughter what????

My point rather than logic is that one cannot compare a primary sex organ with breasts, which are meant for feeding babies.

however there is no disability that requires the display of cock and balls in a cafe.

What if they're cock-eyed?

Yeah sounds like indecent exposure. Particularly if they have had a warning and continue.

Ah yes the “look away from the man flashing you, you pervert” argument.

Let me know when women start assaulting people with their breasts.

😂

I now love Ricky Gervais.

Not yet at any rate.

Give it time though.

You could report him to the police for "Outraging Public Decency"

"outraging public decency is when someone does something lewd, obscene or disgusting in the presence of at least two members of the public."

https://www.police.uk/ro/report/rsa/alpha-v1/advice/rape-sexual-assault-and-other-sexual-offences/indecent-exposure-flashing-offending-public-decency/

Since Wayne Couzens, are there really people left who don't know flashing is a precursor to more serious sexual crimes??

Oh right, men should be able to do whatever they want 🙄

Op referencing the offence of “outraging public decency” in future correspondence could be useful

OP, I think all you have to do is say you felt offended and distressed. Friends of mine were involved in a demonstration where a police officer took down their banners on the basis that someone, somewhere, might be offended.

I'd log it with the police by saying I felt sexually harassed, offended and distressed. That should do the trick.

Toddlers aren't a threat no matter what they do on a beach. Boy toddlers can't rape and they don't seek to cause distress by forcing women to look at their genitals.

You say you can't wear a bra. Does this mean you are happy to wear a fine, near-sheer top in public? Would your family or friends like to see you going out like that?

You seem to be missing the point, as others have said, that barely-covered female breasts aren't a threat to anyone. The Caffe Nero man's cock and balls are perceived by many women to be a threat. Women who have suffered abuse and/or violence from men. Women who have a finely-tuned fight or flight response to a man not wearing clothes considered normal, especially for a public-facing role.

Not to mention that Caffe Nero man's whole demeanor screams look at me NOW. He's one step from flashing. Is that acceptable? He WANTS to be seen like this because doing so holds power over the women he intends to distress. This includes the OP who has been made uncomfortable by his very masculine display.

This display by a man who otherwise dresses as a female is common to men who get their sexual kicks from forcing women to see their barely covered genitals. They also won't accept being told no, you can't behave like that. Common decency would mean a man dressed as a male but with this display of his genitals would be unacceptable in most daytime public places.

This man is going home (or to the women's toilet/changing room) for a wank after seeing the effect he's having on his female customers, most of whom will just politely avert their eyes and pretend they didn't see his cock - another image for his wank bank as it fuels his desire for power.

One day you might meet a man like this. He'll be instantly recognisable by your visceral response to him. But that'll be okay because other women who haven't experienced it will tell you it is.

Any further update @Acunningruse

Thank you for asking @FlexIt

I received the following from the Area Manager last week:

"Hello.

I hope you are well.

In our uniform police we cant dictate what trousers are being worn by the employee as we don’t expect them to go and buy something especially for work. All are employees are supposed to wear a apron on shift. I have spoken to the store manager to ensure this is happening especially when going off and returning from breaks.

I am in Store this week so I will check and see if this is being adhered to and the uniform is appropriate.

Kind Regards "

So yet more fobbing off and not acknowledging the issue. I'm not due to be back in that area for another month or so so I'm not sure whether anything has changed as yet. Unless there are any North-East based MNers who would be able to do a recce?

That response makes it very clear that the individual in question is making a deliberate decision to display their genitals. If it is expected that aprons are worn and this man is choosing not to wear one, there can only be one conclusion drawn about why.

Well I suppose if they are supposed to wear aprons and as he’s not he will now have to wear one and conceal himself.
However I think boss is trying to avoid addressing issue, how would they have coped if an employee was dressed like this in a different customer service facing industry where an apron wasn’t required eg retail, soft play supervisor, leisure centre staff?