They / them at work

[pootlefump]

I've just written a long post and it's disappeared so in brief - how do you deal with staff who are they/them at work? I will really struggle to call a very obvious biological male 'they'. I also can't loose my job and do want to be respectful but also can't change my view on this nonsense !

you're not. you're only answering some questions and ignoring others and you're changing the meaning of words to suit your agenda.

It is our fault we don't understand.

I thought you wanted me to read the précis of the study that’s in the article. Not the study itself. I really don’t have time for that. I think the article reports its main points and that’s enough. I don’t have limitless time to spend on this, and the report is from a reputable publication.

That’s the point of reputable media reporting the main points and conclusions. Most people aren’t going to read the actual studies, unless they can make a significant time investment, which I can’t. I trust the précis.

Obviously I wanted you to read the full study because you referred us to the study as evidence of your argument!

You said "I’ll try to find time to read it in-depth" and I took you at your word.

I appreciate you don't have enough time, we are all busy, but you are the one that cited it as evidence.

I think most people are more comfortable with explicit mixed sex than underhand mixed sex by letting some males into the ladies. But regardless, you don't seem to be bothered by women's comfort as regards letting TW so why the discrepancy? is it only TW discomfort which bothers you? can you see that that's male supremacy?

Right, so nothing like women then?

There’s too much to keep up with. I’ve said what I think. Real life calls.

@AlisonDonut You have a checklist fetish and should get treatment for it. 🤭🤣

OP you might find that as you work with them, you realise that (i) they are a nice person (you might really like them!) and (ii) come to understand their reasons for wishing to be known as "They" (even if you still don't agree with neutral pronouns).

Even if only the former and not the latter, that should hopefully take some of the heat of this situation for you.

I know one non -binary person and find that when I'm with them, pronouns aren't too difficult as you most end up addressing them in the second person e.g. "please can you pass the salt". And if talking about the person you can use their name as other PP have suggested, to get around they/them.

But oestrogen treatment makes trans women weaker and less aggressive than men, no?

No.

Sounds sensible.

Yes, and sorry I wrote in the U.K. I meant the US.

I didn’t realise I had to request a copy. Sounds like a hassle. I posted the article about the study so we could absorb its main points.

Looking forward to a new thread about it.

No I see a male and think 'male'. It is you that thinks some men who say they are women are safe and some aren't. If you are making this judgement, then my question is, what things are you crossing off in your mind to come to this conclusion? I call it a checklist as that is a known thing, a list of things to check.

And what would be the point of making a false claim and then posting a link that discredits the false claim?? It wasn’t a false claim, I just skimmed too quickly, that’s all. The correct info was all there for everyone to see in the link.

Are you just googling these things as they come up and posting the links without reading them?

This is very interesting and somewhat addictive, but I simply must tear myself away.

it’s been an eye-opener. 😳

Mocking people who ask you to clarify your position is really distasteful.

No. I read the reports on the studies that summarise the main points and takeaways. I don’t have time to read a bunch of academic studies in depth, but thanks to the summaries, you don’t have to.

It has for me too. I realise that people of the be kind (to males) variety simply have no logical position and in some instances will go to great lengths to hide that. I get that for you this feels right but self examination is important. Society brings us up to treat women as service personell but we can choose to take a more moral position and afford full humanity to everyone.

Must. Go.

Your echo chamber is restored!

That’s what I’m trying to do - afford full humanity to everyone.

OK, I will read some. Can’t right now though.

Women jailed for asking men to leave the female toilets, isn't humane is it? Crikey, what a position to take.

I already gave a checklist to AD, way upthread. Sorry you have no sense of humour.