Page 24 | Dating as a TERF

TERFisTHEnewTREND · 2023-12-14T19:39:17+00:00

I'm a 34 year old female. I'm currently dating via Tinder. When the gender issue has come up and I've mentioned that I'm a TERF, a lot of men have disengaged from me. I once went on three dates with a man, we got on great, and then when I mentioned my views on gender ideology, he ghosted me after! Do you mention your stance up front or do you wait? I don't want to date anyone who thinks humans can change sex, is it worth stating this on my profile? Any help/ advice/ insights appreciated.

MargotBamborough · 18/12/2023 15:33

Helleofabore · 18/12/2023 13:34

"No-one can seriously think these comments are acceptable or tolerant. They are marginalising or insulting a group of people."

I mean, what the actual fuck. Do you actually understand you are here lecturing women who are pointing out that YOU have redefined them in your wedging open the word 'woman' to mean any person of either sex who just feels like they are a woman?

Do you actually understand how hypocritical all your posts so far have been on different layers?

Your lack of self awareness is really very clear to anyone reading your contributions to this thread.

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This.

What is utterly unacceptable is that a small group of men decided to redefine the word "woman" to include them, without the consent or the involvement of actual women.

Women, by which I mean adult humans of the female biological sex, are allowed to have a word to describe ourselves and only ourselves. We are allowed to organise and campaign in our own self interest, without needing to include members of the opposite sex just because they will feel sad if they are not included. The fact that they feel sad is not our problem.

What is unacceptable is the fact that it has become simultaneously necessary and at the same time forbidden, to say that these people are blokes.

It is necessary to say that they are blokes because we are on the cusp of women ceasing to exist as a concept in law and language. We are on the verge of there no longer being a word to describe adult humans of the female biological sex, a group which actually exists and has its own, unique, sex-based interests and needs which are not shared with male humans.

And it is forbidden to say that they are blokes because this is precisely what they want to happen: for us no longer to have the vocabulary to describe and discuss ourselves in a way that doesn't include and centre them.

This has never been a reasonable thing to demand, and it's time we started fighting back against it with all our might.

ArthurbellaScott · 18/12/2023 16:26

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/book-review-now-who-started-it-she-did-not-guilty-in-defence-of-the-modern-man-by-david-thomas-weidenfeld-pounds-8-99-1471605.html

'He writes as though 'male' automatically equals 'masculine', as though differences between the sexes are God-given and natural, not socially constructed'
...
'Thomas gets wonderfully bogged down in phallic musings: 'Few women possess the single-minded, almost manic energy that is characteristic of those men who build up great fortunes or conjure up towering academic theories . . . the more reticent approach of a woman may lead her, in the longer run, to knowledge that is more secure. (In this context, the development of feminist theory may turn out to be the exception that proves the rule.)''

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/book-review-now-who-started-it-she-did-not-guilty-in-defence-of-the-modern-man-by-david-thomas-weidenfeld-pounds-8-99-1471605.html

EtiennePalmiere · 18/12/2023 18:06

MargotBamborough · 18/12/2023 08:21

I'm not sure the doing the dishes part is the part they are identifying with.

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Yup definitely on the heels and fishnets side 🙄

Waitwhat23 · 18/12/2023 18:38

MargotBamborough · 18/12/2023 15:33

This.

What is utterly unacceptable is that a small group of men decided to redefine the word "woman" to include them, without the consent or the involvement of actual women.

Women, by which I mean adult humans of the female biological sex, are allowed to have a word to describe ourselves and only ourselves. We are allowed to organise and campaign in our own self interest, without needing to include members of the opposite sex just because they will feel sad if they are not included. The fact that they feel sad is not our problem.

What is unacceptable is the fact that it has become simultaneously necessary and at the same time forbidden, to say that these people are blokes.

It is necessary to say that they are blokes because we are on the cusp of women ceasing to exist as a concept in law and language. We are on the verge of there no longer being a word to describe adult humans of the female biological sex, a group which actually exists and has its own, unique, sex-based interests and needs which are not shared with male humans.

And it is forbidden to say that they are blokes because this is precisely what they want to happen: for us no longer to have the vocabulary to describe and discuss ourselves in a way that doesn't include and centre them.

This has never been a reasonable thing to demand, and it's time we started fighting back against it with all our might.

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Bloody well said.