Dating as a TERF

[TERFisTHEnewTREND]

I'm a 34 year old female. I'm currently dating via Tinder.

When the gender issue has come up and I've mentioned that I'm a TERF, a lot of men have disengaged from me. I once went on three dates with a man, we got on great, and then when I mentioned my views on gender ideology, he ghosted me after!

Do you mention your stance up front or do you wait? I don't want to date anyone who thinks humans can change sex, is it worth stating this on my profile?

Any help/ advice/ insights appreciated.

I’d be thankful they revealed their shortcomings early on and move on! 😂

How rude. I'm not massive, I'm just big boned.

Wow, the men from around the world who hate women have really decided to swoop in and deride MumsNet's women.

For lurkers, anyone who calls us "Nazis" or "bigots", this is just a commonplace tactic from men and their handmaidens to smear the feminist view that males can't change sex and that really need to stay in their lane.

If you really do feel sorry for transwomen (trans identifying males) then please launch a huge campaign to provide separate spaces for them.

Just more of a good thing surely.

What have you read that's bigoted?

Although I'm confident that's not going to get answered.

😂

"Your failure to dick pander and service human means that I decline to have sex with you!"

Yeah, colour me devastated sweetheart. I'll bravely struggle on by 😉

Isn’t ‘TERF’ a bit like ‘cis’ - a bolt-on qualifier, surplus to requirements?

That said, it’s amusing that ‘exclusionary’ is heard as “threatening our very existence etc etc” 😂

Yes

In which context, the use of “obsessive” to describe posters here is interesting.

Plus a campaign for keeping all male people safe in male single sex spaces! For those non conforming male people who respect female people’s needs and stay out of the female single sex spaces.

That campaign could be led by all male people with trans identities as a great society contribution.

I’ve been saying this for ages! Although I think it should be led by Owen Jones & Dinosaur Dave.

Any considered responses to the various questions posed in this thread are still of interest. Make the journey from Twitter worthwhile & use reason to persuade us! Meaningful discussion could show you have the courage of your convictions & the words to express them, or help people to see your point of view more clearly. And yes, as above, help us to help you to support trans people in ways on which we agree - third spaces, the male violence that’s at the heart of all our concerns etc., as suggested above. We want all vulnerable groups to be safe & well, however we prioritise our own needs, as you do yours.

That's literally the point the OP is making.

She doesn't want to waste her time getting to date three only to find the guy is a misogynist of the "be kind" variety.

Misogyny with preferred pronouns, rainbow flags is still misogyny. It's still misogyny even if it calls itself feminist.

Ah yes, denying our existence.

Remind me which of the two groups doesn't want the other to have a word for itself?

Female people or trans people?

How can you tell the difference between a MASSIVE bigot and someone who is just a little tiny bit biggotty, maybe after a couple of drinks?

Is it like the difference between 'weakly interactive' bigots and 'stable' bigots?

I’m sure there’s a rigorous test for genuine bigots.

(When I put in 1984 I got quite a few Van Halen gifs. Which was nice.)

@MargotBamborough I get what you say re filtering out the “be kind” idiots.

Tbh I’m not that bothered these days re being called (shock/horror) bigot/nazi etc. Mildly tedious but utterly meaningless.

…which reminds me of an uplifting conversation with teen girls in the park who groaned and rolled their eyes at the ‘gender identity’ nonsense.

Good suggestions, too. Imagine a wide ranging group supporting and initiating it! Wouldn’t that be just awesome!

Oh I’ve read the thread. I’m just very glad I don’t share the OP’s repulsive views. There are some equally awful people in the responses. Hatred of a minority group is bigotry. That so many of you are proud of your stance is disgusting.

some ideas are bad ideas @Ronathediva13 pretending you think bad ideas are good ideas because otherwise you might hurt people's feelings is not I sensible basis on which to change laws policies or social conventions.

Women are a type of human being, who can have any personality not a type of personality anyone can have. I will say it without apology or shame as often and as loudly as it needs saying until saying it is no longer controversial

You claim to have read the thread but nothing seems to have gone in.

Just what is bigoted about standing up for women and girls? And yes I'm proud to do so. Why is that 'disgusting'?

I haven't really shared much of my personal views, except for that I'm gender critical.

May I ask what specifically you disagree with in my views?