My 15 year old daughter is going to a sleepover tomorrow night....

[Kitkat2023]

....and out of 5 girls, 3 of them dress up as boys. My daughter is NOT one of them, but over the last 2 years, 3 of her friends have started the 'trans' fashion.
My daughter is all over it calling the girls 'they and them or he'.

We are starting to fall out over it because I just can't entertain it when she's calling them all their new names as I find it so ridiculous.

What the hell have they done to our children?

I hope they came out of it unscathed by medication and surgery? That’s what’s scary about the current trans phase.

I'm curious how a girl would "dress up as a boy".

Were they wearing something other than a dress or skirt?

One of my daughters friend was a female to male. The same rules applied as if she had her 14 year old friends that are boys over - no going upstairs and doors stay open. Both respected the rule.

Interestingly once they hit uni they reverted back to female nouns still dressed very similar to when they were a male and now a very proud lesbian. She’s had quite a journey, self harming, very confused. Her family stood by and supported her - the only thing they stood their ground on (& it was bloody hard for them especially during self harming phase) was no medication, till she was at least 18.

One other girl in my daughter’s year group hit 18 and has slowly transitioned during years at uni. They seem a lot happy now as a male. I think eventually they will have removal -

@Meeting so you really assume all parents support their “trans” children? My dd identifies as male and calls herself by a male name - we do not support social transition in any way and are doing everything we can to support her underlying mental health issues.

It's all so sad - these lovely young women & girls caught up in a social contagion because nobody's felt able to stop all the trans lobbyists from targeting schools, children's homes, youth services, sport (basically anywhere that children gather) and gaslighting them into believing their bodies are flawed and that drugs and surgery can fix them.

Hopefully as the lawsuits start to happen, these individuals, organisations & those who enabled them in education, health etc will have to pay some major compensation for the damage they have caused to all the mentally vulnerable teenagers caught up in this mess.

What does dressing as boys mean?

If they consider themselves boys and your dd considers them boys then as a pp has suggested, tell dd she can’t go to a sleepover with boys.

Most of them will grow out of it, my DD's had several so called teams friends and less than a quarter actually pursued it beyond adopting a non binary name and dressing up. By 18/19 some had returned to their birth gender straight, some continued as gender non conforming and some were out as birth gender but gay. 3 friends have gone through with transition out of more than a dozen

That's a quarter of them! Trouble is with all the Stonewall captured schools, these girls have limited options in changing their minds if they've been socially transitioned for years. It takes mental resilience to admit you've made a mistake and if you're mentally vulnerable in addition......

I work in an independent school where the kids are veheerrrr much up on the latest. We had quite a few girls identifying as boys over the last 5y or so, but seen them generally move on from it - as usual, when a 'trend' is taken up more widely it is no longer cool at all.

I wouldn’t let her go. She’s too young for this dynamic at a sleepover

if they identify as boys (that’s 3 “boys”) at a sleepover…

🙄
Or maybe they realise this is likely a passing thing, and just letting it play itself out.
Im not sure what immediate danger OP’s daughter is in?

Most of dd's classes, including her, in yr9,yr10 are 'non-binary' pride flag waving etc - it's currently social suicide to be hetero.

As pp said - it's a fad/phase it'll all sort out eventually.

(I might think that the alphabet brigade - LGBTQS+ etc would be better named H- but would never say that :) )

Why are you falling out with her over it. She can call them whatever she likes they're her friends not yours

I'd very much like to know what the % in our schools is of girls "transing" to boys is compared to boys "transing" to girls. If only approximate. Who on here would think it would be anything other than stark?

Maddy70 · Today 12:34

Why are you falling out with her over it. She can call them whatever she likes they're her friends not yours”

👏👏👏

Teenagers go through phases and jump on bandwagons. Always have. Always will. This (for most) is just the latest one and no need to get in a flap about it. I doubt your daughter is in any danger from her friends so I would just let them get on with it. If you make a big deal of it it will probably exacerbate the issue.

I'm not dismissing trans people in saying this - but for a lot of kids it probably won't be a lasting thing.

Well exactly. Of course they're not. But social contagion is a well-known phenomenon among teenage girls. But although we're allowed to talk about it when it's self-harm or anorexia, when it's identifying as trans, we are required to go along with this and celebrate it because they are being "their authentic selves". My 15 year old also has a friendship group where at least half go by a different name and gender than what they were born with.

What does this mean?

I agree with Maddy on this - you aren’t going to get your DD to call your friends by their female names if that upsets them, any more than you could insist on her calling them Christina rather than Chrissie if they had chosen that nickname.

That LGBTQ+ covers so many possibilities that making it heterosexual-minus would be quicker

What is H please?

Teens will always experiment.

As long as its not drugs and anything illegal, it's OK.

Drugs are very much encouraged for children who think they are trans.

3/5 is extraordinary ☹️

I wouldnt fall out with her

i talk to my 15yr old DD about how fucking awful being a teenage girl is & how at different points in history girls have used different means to try to escape their rapidly changing bodies & unwanted male attention

teenage girls - nuns, anorexia, self harm, worn baggy clothes, "trans" etc

discussing how susceptible teen girls are to social contagion helped too