Page 7 | You are safe with me

Justme56 · 2023-08-09T17:49:09+00:00

I saw this on Twitter as David Tennent was wearing one. I’m sure his intention is good but it gave me weird vibes. Can he guarantee that everyone who is wearing one is ‘safe’ to be around? Am I overthinking this?

Notamum12345577 · 10/08/2023 16:12

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/08/2023 18:52

No, you’re not overthinking it. I’m sure Tennant means well but it’s creepy and I’d question the motives of anyone who wore one around kids.

In case ‘The gays’ try and convert the kids?

PomegranateOfPersephone · 10/08/2023 16:12

A plain rainbow badge without words is not creepy or disturbing.

Florissante · 10/08/2023 16:12

Well put.

Helleofabore · 10/08/2023 16:20

Papernotplastic · 10/08/2023 14:17

It’s unfortunate wording. ‘Ally’ or ‘safe’ would be preferable. If my child identified as trans/non binary I’d wear the badge.

I don’t like the push to for children to transition medically/surgically as though this will ‘cure’ feelings of alienation and ‘wrongness’ when there are often other issues alongside the gender dysphoria that also need treatment/therapy. I don’t like surgeons overselling what they can deliver, leaving young people with permanent pain and disfunction. I loathe the gender stereotyping that seems to say dresses and makeup = woman. To me it’s regressive and reminds me of the disapproval of women wearing trousers in the last century. Non binary seems to be people who don’t conform to narrow and unrealistic concepts of what it means to be female or male - who would? Being a young woman now seems to mean being a hyper-sexualised, fillered-up doll - Love Island meets Only Fans. Being a young man seems to mean muscles like an action star and a thin skin of Andrew Tate style misogyny over an abyss of insecurity. I thought we’d broken down the stereotypes but they’ve come back stronger than ever.

I don’t think anything is improved by treating everyone who disagrees with you as an enemy. That applies to the gender critical just as much as to the trans activists. I won’t declare my pronouns but if someone wants to be addressed as she or he or they, I’ll do that. It’s basic humanity. You can disagree with an ideology without attacking the individual.

So many posters jumped to mention Jimmy Saville on this thread. There are individual TRAs who may be safeguarding risks and there are individual trans people who may be a risk to children but you seem to be heading towards viewing anyone who is pro trans as tainted by that. It’s akin to viewing the entire BBC staff and everyone who’s a frequent viewer as tainted by Saville.

If you really feel that the badges are some ploy to exploit a sense of isolation trans children may feel, how about not misgendering them. You might not agree with the concept but simply not using gendered words at all (avoiding pronouns rather than forcing yourself to use them) might make the world feel a bit less hostile to them.

Can I ask why you would wear a badge? Isn’t this outing them to everyone who you meet? My own teen would be horrified with me doing anything like this.

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 10/08/2023 16:21

I've got a rainbow badge on my jacket. It's literally because I love rainbows. It's not meant to show anything to anyone.

ArabeIIaScott · 10/08/2023 16:29

Notamum12345577 · 10/08/2023 16:12

In case ‘The gays’ try and convert the kids?

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In case predators try to groom or abduct the kids. Predators look for ways to gain the trust of vulnerable children. This need have nothing at all to do with gay, straight, or bisexual; it's a bit of a leap to suggest it does, tbh.

StephanieSuperpowers · 10/08/2023 16:59

AmaListening · 10/08/2023 15:52

Those who have concerns about the badge as it is:

Would you be okay with a rainbow and/or blue, pink & white badge with no slogan?

I'm trying to discern whether the "You're safe with me" wording is the issue, or if it's any display of solidarity and allyship.

If it was just a colourful badge, I'd think you were a bit of a fool, but whatever, people can be if they want. I find the wording sinister though. I don't think adults should be pied pipering children.

xsquared · 10/08/2023 17:02

Same as "I'm a nice guy."

Don't trust it just because it says so.

Hoppinggreen · 10/08/2023 17:08

It’s like when someone regularly says (usually quite aggressively) that they are a woman

Thisismyartform · 10/08/2023 17:09

I would instantly know that women like me are not safe around anyone wearing that badge. As I am sure the design team knew.

Because what they are trying to communicate is ‘ you are unsafe around those nasty women with their boundaries. I won’t be mean to you like those shrill harpies’.

Its actual message is to say we are the threat.

HarridanHarvestingHeldaBeans · 10/08/2023 17:27

As a rule, I treat anything that people tell me about their own character with deep suspicion (I'm a nice guy, I'm really good at my job, I'm completely trustworthy etc) because when these things are true, they don't need to be said, and they certainly don't need to be said by the person themselves. I'd see this as on the same level.

However, I do also agree that this is positioning nasty women as dangerous, with their violent misgendering and potentially fatal thoughts. Nobody is saying that everyone who wear this badge is an active danger to children, but it will doubtless be seized upon by men who should never be allowed near a child, let alone to be alone with a child who is already confused about their identity.

PriOn1 · 10/08/2023 18:12

The whole “safe” and “unsafe” rhetoric is off. It goes hand in hand with the pushing towards alienation of parents who don’t immediately affirm, while encouraging their youngsters into the arms of the likes of Jeffrey March or any other adult (usually male) offering “safety” from those “evil mums who don’t understand you.”

This is the problem when universities encourage students to claim they “feel unsafe” with their completely trustworthy female lecturers, whose only sin is to point out that men are not women.

Anyone sane recognizes that “unsafe” is not an appropriate word for potential discomfort when hearing words you disagree with, spoken quietly by a rational woman. Allowing it to be couched in those terms gives it a legitimacy it doesn’t warrant. This badge does the same.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 10/08/2023 21:25

Thisismyartform · 10/08/2023 17:09

I would instantly know that women like me are not safe around anyone wearing that badge. As I am sure the design team knew.

Because what they are trying to communicate is ‘ you are unsafe around those nasty women with their boundaries. I won’t be mean to you like those shrill harpies’.

Its actual message is to say we are the threat.

Exactly. I’d be suspicious of anyone wearing a ‘You’re safe with me’ badge regardless of design, but those particular stripes are actively hostile to women who believe in sex over gender. And given that there was a time when I volunteered for Stonewall and the rainbow was a sign of friendliness & community, it fucking hurts that it’s now been twisted to signal homophobia.

(the idea that lesbians should view transwomen as women is as homophobic as it gets)

Papernotplastic · 10/08/2023 23:54

Can I ask why you would wear a badge? Isn’t this outing them to everyone who you meet? My own teen would be horrified with me doing anything like this.

Why would wearing a badge showing you’re an ally ‘out’ anyone? It’s not like one of those American ‘My child is an honor student’ car stickers!

Helleofabore · 11/08/2023 00:00

Because if you are not trans yourself, and people know you, it isn’t a far reach to believe your child is trans. Hence, it is outing them.

Or do you wear random ‘ally’ badges normally? In which case, that is a different story.

Ramblingnamechanger · 11/08/2023 00:57

Yes creepy of course. Maybe they plan to hand them out with the new ever-so-easy-to-get GRCs, just so we know we have nothing to worry about.

Ramblingnamechanger · 11/08/2023 00:59

Personally I prefer my badge which says lesbians do not have a penis. Yyes I know that is literal violence and makes people feel unsafe, but..

EmpressaurusOfCats · 12/08/2023 22:42

I like my Woman: Adult Human Female badge. But that’s apparently terrifying.

SuperNewMe · 12/08/2023 23:08

EmpressaurusOfCats · 12/08/2023 22:42

I like my Woman: Adult Human Female badge. But that’s apparently terrifying.

Not terrifying 🙄 , but if I saw it would think it made you a bit of a dick.

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 12/08/2023 23:14

SuperNewMe · 12/08/2023 23:08

Not terrifying 🙄 , but if I saw it would think it made you a bit of a dick.

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The definition of a woman on a badge makes someone a bit of a dick?
How so.
I have that too, and the t-shirt, only ever had positive comments.

Helleofabore · 12/08/2023 23:20

Having boundaries is dickish behaviour now?

IcakethereforeIam · 12/08/2023 23:23

SuperNewMe · 12/08/2023 23:08

Not terrifying 🙄 , but if I saw it would think it made you a bit of a dick.

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Genuinely curious, why would you think that?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/08/2023 23:24

but if I saw it would think it made you a bit of a dick.

Just a hunch, but I imagine people wouldn't need to see a badge with you.

SuperNewMe · 12/08/2023 23:42

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/08/2023 23:24

but if I saw it would think it made you a bit of a dick.

Just a hunch, but I imagine people wouldn't need to see a badge with you.

😂

TheJRTwontLetMeBe · 12/08/2023 23:42

I would trust the wearer of this badge in the same way I trust anyone who feels a need to announce how honest they are, or how they're "just hopeless at lying". A bit like the BBC with their "trust the news" line. I've been around long enough to work out if people have to tell you what they are, they're generally the opposite.