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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

You are safe with me

186 replies

Justme56 · 09/08/2023 18:49

I saw this on Twitter as David Tennent was wearing one. I’m sure his intention is good but it gave me weird vibes. Can he guarantee that everyone who is wearing one is ‘safe’ to be around? Am I overthinking this?

You are safe with me
OP posts:
Mochudubh · 09/08/2023 19:36

@PomegranateOfPersephone
The Snake
by Al Wilson

Quite, it reminds me of this

  • On her way to work one morning Down the path alongside the lake
  • A tender-hearted woman saw a poor half-frozen snake
  • His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew
  • "Oh well," she cried, "I'll take you in and I'll take care of you"
  • "Take me in, oh, tender woman
  • Take me in, for heaven's sake
  • Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake
  • Now she wrapped him up all cozy in a coverture of silk
  • And laid him by the fireside with some honey and some milk
  • Now she hurried home from work that night, as soon she arrived
  • Now she found that pretty snake she'd taken in had been revived
  • Now she clutched him to her bosom, "You're so beautiful," she cried
  • "But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died"
  • Now she stroked his pretty skin again and then kissed and held him tight
  • But instead of saying thanks, that snake gave her a vicious bite (ooh)
  • "I saved you," cried that woman "And you've bitten me, even why?
  • And you know your bite is poisonous and now I'm gonna die"
  • "Oh, shut up, silly woman," said that reptile with a grin
  • You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.
  • Writer/s: Oscar Brown Jr.
  • Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind
duc748 · 09/08/2023 19:41

A Northern Soul classic, sadly re-purposed by Donald Trump as racist anti-immigrant.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 09/08/2023 19:43

<shudder>

Mochudubh · 09/08/2023 19:44

duc748 · 09/08/2023 19:41

A Northern Soul classic, sadly re-purposed by Donald Trump as racist anti-immigrant.

Thankfully I've never heard it used that way.

It popped into my head with PPs mention of Kaa and I realised it's apt because it's ultimately where Be Kind leads us.

popebishop · 09/08/2023 19:51

I think it's a great demonstration of self id. Get a badge and everyone has to believe what you say about yourself, otherwise they are anti-inclusion.

Clymene · 09/08/2023 19:52

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 19:31

I don't think David is guaranteeing anything about others who wear a similar badge.

By wearing it, he's simply saying: I am a safe place if you're LGBTQ+ because I accept you.

Which is a much needed message for many people, and if my child identified as gay, bi, trans, non-binary etc, I'd feel greatly supported by other adults around them wearing such badges.

Luckily you do t have any children because that is hopelessly, dangerously naive

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 09/08/2023 19:54

frankly just because someone 'accepts' that your child is gay or trans, it's no guarantee whatsoever that your child is safe with that person. what a dangerously foolish thing to think

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/08/2023 19:54

As a lesbian I wouldn’t feel at all safe around someone with one of those badges, because it suggests they think I’m a bigot for being exclusively attracted to my own sex. And I wouldn’t want them around young lesbians either.

EddieMunsen · 09/08/2023 20:02

"Let me be your new family as your real one is full of bigots".

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:02

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 09/08/2023 19:54

frankly just because someone 'accepts' that your child is gay or trans, it's no guarantee whatsoever that your child is safe with that person. what a dangerously foolish thing to think

The badge isn't a substitute for a DBS check. That's not the point of it. We're not in the realm of safeguarding here; we're not talking about whether your child can go home with someone because they're wearing a badge.

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

This is hugely important because the world can feel a very unsafe place for those who aren't straight or cis.

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:04

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/08/2023 19:54

As a lesbian I wouldn’t feel at all safe around someone with one of those badges, because it suggests they think I’m a bigot for being exclusively attracted to my own sex. And I wouldn’t want them around young lesbians either.

I don't understand this comment, can you help me? The badge seems to have the rainbow flag colours and the trans flag colours and is surely marking the wearer as an ally to all LGBTQ+ people? I'm struggling to understand why a gay woman would find this problematic.

itsmylife7 · 09/08/2023 20:05

Crikey this badge is going to be badly used by the unsavory characters.

As a decent person I don't need to wear a badge. If I was aware someone was being harrassed due to their sexuality I'd help.

Myalternate · 09/08/2023 20:08

A police uniform used to signify that the wearer was to be trusted but I think we all know that’s no longer true.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 09/08/2023 20:11

Is there any gatekeeping for this badge or can literally anyone get one? You know ppl with convictions for GBH that sort of thing

I mean if I wanted to harm someone and I wanted to make it easier to do it, I’d wear a badge saying that. Make it nice & easy wouldn’t it

God the utter stupidity of the beeeee kiiiiind brigade makes me want to repeatedly bang my head against the wall

Wishitsnows · 09/08/2023 20:12

I remember as a kid in the US houses would have little signs in their window which was ‘safe place’ or something. I thought that was like an old van saying come inside and see little kittens! That badge is creepy

Theeyeballsinthesky · 09/08/2023 20:14

I don't understand this comment, can you help me? The badge seems to have the rainbow flag colours and the trans flag colours and is surely marking the wearer as an ally to all LGBTQ+ people? I'm struggling to understand why a gay woman would find this problematic.

because, obviously, literally anyone can get one so how can you possibly know if the wearer is a genuine ally or someone using it as an easy route to harm LGBTQ+ ppl

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2023 20:14

It's the Posh Spice Rule.

If you have to say it, it's not true.

Tinysoxx · 09/08/2023 20:23

The badge’s message is a no from me. It gives off ‘Here we are children, come and get your lollipops, lollipops, come along my little ones’ vibes.

WallaceinAnderland · 09/08/2023 20:25

A warning to children about people who claim to be 'safe' written in 1829

Will You Walk Into My Parlor? ~ A Classic English Poem by Mary Howitt

“Will you walk into my parlor?” said the spider to the fly;
“‘Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you may spy.
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair, And I have many curious things to show when you are there.”
“Oh no, no,” said the little fly; “to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne’er come down again.”

“I’m sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high.
Well you rest upon my little bed?” said the spider to the fly.
“There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest a while, I’ll snugly tuck you in!”
“Oh no, no,” said the little fly, “for I’ve often heard it said,
They never, never wake again who sleep upon your bed!”

Said the cunning spider to the fly: “Dear friend, what can I do
To prove the warm affection I’ve always felt for you?
I have within my pantry good store of all that’s nice;
I’m sure you’re very welcome – will you please to take a slice?”
“Oh no, no,” said the little fly; “kind sir, that cannot be:
I’ve heard what’s in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!”

“Sweet creature!” said the spider, “you’re witty and you’re wise;
How handsome are your gauzy wings; how brilliant are your eyes!
I have a little looking-glass upon my parlor shelf;
If you’d step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself.”
“I thank you, gentle sir,” she said, “for what you’re pleased to say,
And, bidding you good morning now, I’ll call another day.”

The spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready to dine upon the fly;
Then came out to his door again and merrily did sing:
“Come hither, hither, pretty fly, with pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple; there’s a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!”

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer grew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes and green and purple hue,
Thinking only of her crested head. Poor, foolish thing! at last
Up jumped the cunning spider, and fiercely held her fast;
He dragged her up his winding stair, into the dismal den –
Within his little parlor – but she ne’er came out again!

And now, dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words I pray you ne’er give heed;
Unto an evil counselor close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale of the spider and the fly.

popebishop · 09/08/2023 20:26

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

Exactly. It says that the wearer claims to be an ally. Something you would normally determine from someone's actions.

So should people believe claims? If Farage wore one, what would you think?

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:27

Theeyeballsinthesky · 09/08/2023 20:14

I don't understand this comment, can you help me? The badge seems to have the rainbow flag colours and the trans flag colours and is surely marking the wearer as an ally to all LGBTQ+ people? I'm struggling to understand why a gay woman would find this problematic.

because, obviously, literally anyone can get one so how can you possibly know if the wearer is a genuine ally or someone using it as an easy route to harm LGBTQ+ ppl

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I'd think it far more likely a badge bought by allies, to make that solidarity and support immediately visible.

David Tennant I think has a child who identifies as non-binary? So he's taking a stand for them by wearing that publicly, I'm guessing.

DojaPhat · 09/08/2023 20:29

Are people really reading more into this than a basic marketing gimmick?

Mochudubh · 09/08/2023 20:37

@AmaListening

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I have a bridge for sale. Call 8I0I067-101.

teawamutu · 09/08/2023 20:37

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:27

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I'd think it far more likely a badge bought by allies, to make that solidarity and support immediately visible.

David Tennant I think has a child who identifies as non-binary? So he's taking a stand for them by wearing that publicly, I'm guessing.

Almost certainly that's as deeply as he's thought.

But in a world where the uncaught-as-yet Isla Brysons or Wayne Couzens can get one just by asking, there's no farking way I'm going to tell my kids to trust them. It's just a bit of metal. It's not a guarantee.