Page 4 | You are safe with me

Justme56 · 2023-08-09T17:49:09+00:00

I saw this on Twitter as David Tennent was wearing one. I’m sure his intention is good but it gave me weird vibes. Can he guarantee that everyone who is wearing one is ‘safe’ to be around? Am I overthinking this?

MrsGalloway · 10/08/2023 00:12

Yes @cariadlet exactly. As a parent to a gender non conforming child I’d be deeply wary of any adult sporting a badge like this, I’d be genuinely worried that they might be pushing an agenda that would be telling my child there was something fundamentally amiss with their body and put them on a pathway to dangerous irreversible and experimental medical intervention

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 00:44

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:02

The badge isn't a substitute for a DBS check. That's not the point of it. We're not in the realm of safeguarding here; we're not talking about whether your child can go home with someone because they're wearing a badge.

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

This is hugely important because the world can feel a very unsafe place for those who aren't straight or cis.

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That's how I see it too
As in I'm straight and not trans, if I was to wear one it'd just mean that I am an ally and someone accepting (for want of a better word) aka safe as the badge says of LGBT people.
In an increasingly hostile time for members of the community I think it's a good thing.
As pp says, it's not meaning anything like come home with me or whatever! 🙄
Just you know I'm not going to be homophobic or transphobic towards you.

DiabolicalFinial · 10/08/2023 00:51

When I read the title of this thread, I immediately though Jeffrey M was back again…

Clymene · 10/08/2023 00:54

John is a predatory man. He likes underage boys and grooms them online. He also likes to pick them up in lgbt spaces. He wears a special badge that tells people he's an ally.

Sam has been with his husband for 17 years. He doesn't wear a special badge.

Ann is head of D&I in her company. She doesn't wear a special badge.

Whose less likely to be a threat to young people?

Clymene · 10/08/2023 00:54

*who's

PermanentTemporary · 10/08/2023 00:58

It's interesting that to me 'safe' means a lot more than 'I'm not going to make homophobic jokes or misgender you'. But yes, if that is the definition of safety, most of us could wear that badge.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2023 01:03

Windywuss · 09/08/2023 22:44

This is the kind of virtue signalling I dislike. I have no doubt DT is being good intentioned. But the whole notion of being an ally is such black and white thinking.

I'm a lecturer. In my university, staff can choose to add a badge to their signature and use a rainbow badge in real life to indicate their status as an LGBTQ ally. The staff LGBTQ network runs this stuff. Again they all mean well but I think it gives the impression that if you're not a badge wearer then somehow you are unsafe or against them.

Now I'm a femininst and won't use pronouns for myself and don't believe in gender over sex. This does not mean that I am unsafe for ANY of my students. I support all of them whatever is going on in their lives.

I think this generation are being done a disservice by the lack of critical thinking (which I try and address in my small way) and black and white thinking around these days.

The 'I'm safe for everyone' piece is important.

I work with (being vague) two people who should be very very good at their jobs and they are fairly well paid. Think Council or similar. One of them is a young man, terribly woke. His signature runs to almost a page (I'm not joking) with declarations, BLM, rainbow flags, quotes and other assorted virtue signalling. The other is a crusty older woman with her name and number.

Guess which one of them works with my most challenging clients, always calls back, always calm and kind and present? And the thing is that all the clients know it too.

It's actually a good job because printing his emails if I need to is a pain in the arse. So I never bother with him any more. He almost never calls back and if he does he's useless.

A badge doesn't make you safe. Being safe makes you safe. And even then you're Schrödinger's rapist. Look at all the men in the public eye, I mean who is really teflon at this point?

fullbloom87 · 10/08/2023 01:29

Yeah weird. It's like trying to groom people to believe that anyone who isn't 100% straight is somehow safe.

KohlaParasaurus · 10/08/2023 01:34

Kaa the snake's eyes were the first thing that came to my mind. And also, "You are in danger and I can protect you," which is unpleasantly condescending.

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 01:36

fullbloom87 · 10/08/2023 01:29

Yeah weird. It's like trying to groom people to believe that anyone who isn't 100% straight is somehow safe.

Sorry, it's late (early?!l and not sure what you mean by this?

SinnerBoy · 10/08/2023 01:37

= Anyone straight hates you and is a danger

= Anyone not straight likes you and will help you out of danger

It's risible bollocks.

Pocodaku · 10/08/2023 01:38

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/08/2023 19:54

As a lesbian I wouldn’t feel at all safe around someone with one of those badges, because it suggests they think I’m a bigot for being exclusively attracted to my own sex. And I wouldn’t want them around young lesbians either.

Yes! I’d immediately want to move away from the badged-person.

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 01:41

I work with (being vague) two people who should be very very good at their jobs and they are fairly well paid. Think Council or similar. One of them is a young man, terribly woke. His signature runs to almost a page (I'm not joking) with declarations, BLM, rainbow flags, quotes and other assorted virtue signalling. The other is a crusty older woman with her name and number.
Urgh, see I'd much more feel comfortable around someone who had almost a page long signature of woke rainbow flags quotes etc (almost a page long signature? Really?l ) as they seem to me like they'd be approachable, whereas you calling older women crusty gives me bigger urgh vibes than anyone supporting LGBT rights ever would.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2023 01:45

I'm not calling older women crusty. I am an older woman. I'm calling her crusty. She wouldn't give a shit. By all means feel comfy with him. He won't be helpful.

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 10/08/2023 01:49

I'm GC. I'm also completely safe to be around regardless of your sexuality or gender identity despite not wearing a badge.

I'm safe to the extent that I'm one of the only parents who knows that DS2s best friend is gay.

I'm safe to the extent that when DS1s non binary friend woke up in the park not knowing how they got there or if they'd been attacked or not, I was the only adult they would let come and help.

I'm safe even though I don't wear a badge. These kids know I'm safe because of how I treat them.

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 01:49

SinnerBoy · 10/08/2023 01:37

= Anyone straight hates you and is a danger

= Anyone not straight likes you and will help you out of danger

It's risible bollocks.

Ah right ok, that's not how I read the badge at all so thanks for clarifying.
I mean, to me it doesn't make sense that some think it's just straight people who aren't safe towards the LGBT community, I mean it's clear from.some views shown that some of the LGBT community are hostile towards others in it (to put it mildly!)
I don't think it's just an "I'm straight, I'm safe!" thing at all

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 01:50

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 10/08/2023 01:49

I'm GC. I'm also completely safe to be around regardless of your sexuality or gender identity despite not wearing a badge.

I'm safe to the extent that I'm one of the only parents who knows that DS2s best friend is gay.

I'm safe to the extent that when DS1s non binary friend woke up in the park not knowing how they got there or if they'd been attacked or not, I was the only adult they would let come and help.

I'm safe even though I don't wear a badge. These kids know I'm safe because of how I treat them.

That's good to hear (genuinely)

AlwaysFreezing · 10/08/2023 01:52

The real message is: and anyone not wearing this badge is unsafe.

Interesting, isn't it?

Because I understand the sentiment. I really do. But in reality it's one of those things isn't it, where actually predators and allies end up in the same boat, undermining any decent intentions. Or worse, making it *easier' for predators to seem so much safer: it's the people who believe in chromosomes. They're the real threat. And they don't wear badges, oh no.

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 01:53

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2023 01:45

I'm not calling older women crusty. I am an older woman. I'm calling her crusty. She wouldn't give a shit. By all means feel comfy with him. He won't be helpful.

I'm an older woman too. You know that she wouldn't mind you calling her crusty on the internet?
Ok.
Is he genuinely not helpful, not nice? Or are you just saying that as you deem him "woke" as he has "nearly a page long" signature?

DysmalRadius · 10/08/2023 01:53

Imagine if you were on a first date and someone actually said those words, apropos of nothing. You'd be out the bathroom window so quickly, with a trail of red flags behind you!

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2023 01:59

Is he genuinely not helpful, not nice? Or are you just saying that as you deem him "woke" as he has "nearly a page long" signature?

I'm fairly sure he's nice. But when I send a HELP, I NEED ASSISTANCE TO STOP THIS PERSON BECOMING HOMELESS email, she replies in about ten minutes and he almost never replies. All the vulnerable people I work with talk to her, because she gets it done. And she will work with the 'harder to engage' when everyone else has given up. He doesn't even try.

SinnerBoy · 10/08/2023 02:23

Or are you just saying that as you deem him "woke" as he has "nearly a page long" signature?

I wouldn't know if he was "woke," or not, but it certainly says to me that he's a tedious, attention-seeking, unprofessional oddball.

A whole page of flags and pronouns? For goodness sake!

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 02:45

SinnerBoy · 10/08/2023 02:23

Or are you just saying that as you deem him "woke" as he has "nearly a page long" signature?

I wouldn't know if he was "woke," or not, but it certainly says to me that he's a tedious, attention-seeking, unprofessional oddball.

A whole page of flags and pronouns? For goodness sake!

You're only going by that poster's word that he's got nearly a page long signature, that you've just extended to a whole page worth of...
It's like the Magic Porridge Pot, it just keeps expanding and growing lol shows age

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 02:47

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2023 01:59

Is he genuinely not helpful, not nice? Or are you just saying that as you deem him "woke" as he has "nearly a page long" signature?

I'm fairly sure he's nice. But when I send a HELP, I NEED ASSISTANCE TO STOP THIS PERSON BECOMING HOMELESS email, she replies in about ten minutes and he almost never replies. All the vulnerable people I work with talk to her, because she gets it done. And she will work with the 'harder to engage' when everyone else has given up. He doesn't even try.

Ah OK, fair enough that's annoying then and she sounds nice and helpful

SequentialAnalyst · 10/08/2023 02:48

I think the badge is well-intentioned, but nobody should wear one. And if a child, or perhaps a person with SEN, gets a dodgy feeling from someone, would such a badge cause the child to ignore their instincts for self preservation?

A child with ASD might take such a badge at face value. (I think I might have the condition)
When I was small, I nearly fell prey to a child abuser. I knew not to accept sweets from strangers, but no-one thought to warn me about offers to show me a litter of puppies.

Kind of related in a way: a fair while ago I remember parents being advised not to give their children t-shirts with their name on, or those little name necklaces. Anyone can go up to such a child, and know their name. The child won't know that person just read their name.