Tunnocks

[thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch]

I have seen it quoted on here for many years that Tunnocks are to be supported as they support women's rights. I have looked on their website and social media and can see nothing to support this rumour. Does anyone have any evidence? Thanks.

You can’t take the risk - you definitely need more Tunnocks, @CervixSampler. Please update us when you have replenished your supply, so I don’t fret about you.

Dear Ms C Sampler,

Definitely Tunnocks withdrawal symptoms.

I have prescribed you:
1 Tunnocks caramel wafer every 8 hours
1 Tunnocks tea cake at bedtime.

I have also prescribed:
8 pack of Snowballs to be eaten only if you are still struggling by Tomorrow evening.

If your symptoms have not improved by Thursday morning I would suggest you double up on the quantities above

Kind regards

Boiled

Correction, fat fingers

1 caramel wafer every 6 hours . We all know one bar left of a four pack is just asking to be eaten.

Opinions are like arseholes. Everybody has one but it is generally accepted that it is rude to shove them in other people's faces.

What a quote. I'm keeping it.

Do Tunnocks do vegan wafers? <hides>

@PoseyFlump☝

😁

Haha I'll get my coat 😂😂

Wouldn't a vegan version be minus all the nice bits?

You'd be surprised! M&S marshmallows are yum and vegan kitkat are vaguely edible. But I wants the caramel 😍🤪

Now I know you're lying! A normal Kit Kat isn't even vaguely edible so I refuse to believe a vegan one is actually edible at all!

Awaits the kit Kat lover @IcakethereforeIam arrival to tell me how very very very VERY wrong I am!

I am and not thanking you for introducing me to the glorious Tunnocks Tea Cakes late in life via this thread.
Gone from never having eaten one to

• thinking about them every day
• dreaming of slowly taking off the foil layer and then flattening it out
• finding excuses to shop in Home Bargain
• concealing the boxes
• hiding the wrappers at the bottom of the bin
• thinking that eating 4 in one go is getting to be bit much
• perfecting the method of eating the lower layer, then the squishy white layer then slowly melting the thin chocolate dome in the mouth
• work colleagues think I have lost the plot
• getting withdrawl symptoms

think there needs to be a thread for Tunnock Teacake Addicts Anonymous (TTAA) to help in managing the addiction to stop the side effects of an expanding waistline…

@AppleTreeOwner well...that escalated quick!😁

I get more convinced by the day that they are lacing their products with crack cocaine!

Although that doesn't quite explain the Pavlovian drooling that occurs whenever I think of Tunnocks.

For a minute there boiled I was getting excited that you were a NEer. But realise you must have googled 😂

Trying to park for that Waitrose is probably more traumatic than driving to ponteland. And probably driving there now too now they've introduced traffic calming.

Alas I live elsewhere

<goes off to hide behind a very large metal angel>

Kidding!

I want planning doing an only tunnocks, but had a successful chocolate removal so thought I'd share...

Part 2 follows in a moment

Part 2

Moves down past a brick train...

@Boiledbeetle has anyone written a poem about Tunnocks for your book? I nominate @AppleTreeOwner

Wonderful! 😂 does it come in stop motion?!

You should do a series and a performance piece for the Baltic.

I second that motion

• perfecting the method of eating the lower layer, then the squishy white layer then slowly melting the thin chocolate dome in the mouth

That is a very advanced move for a novice. I only have 12 left, will I perfect it in that time?

Thirding @AppleTreeOwner for the poem writing

@Boiledbeetle we need you to try appletrees way and photograph your achievements

Your determined to get me in the North East aren't you.

And the Baltic is fine it's this side of the bridge to hell (in not saying Newcastle is hell, just the roads.) They make me cry. I once spent over an hour looping round and crossing the bridge about 6 times due to bad directions from head office, just what you need having driven from many many miles away, and road works that sent me round in an f'ing circle.

Enough of the teacakes picture porn!!!!
Now got the French panting song in my head ‘je t'aime’ as I think of unfolding the wrapper on the next tea cake experience…

I tried eating the biscuit the other day but my fingers melted the chocolate and went straight into the mallow!

And you are right it is rather advanced for a novice!

I may have to put it on the fridge first.