Ginny - an update

[idontknowwhattosay23]

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

If the situation wasn't so immediately difficult for OP I would so love for this thread to be shared far and wide.

It is a real eye opener.

It clearly shows the damage on an individual level when trans rights are allowed to dominate and undermine women's rights. More people need to know this is going on.

But the thread also shows, dispite the trans narrative being we are all bitter harpies, etc., that when it come to the crunch women will work together, even if our role was only to be the supportive chorus.

Have been thinking all day about OP.

Whatever the outcome of the interview I am sure it is the first step to a better future.

Hope OP is having a lovely afternoon with supportive parents and children or chilling out on her own!

I agree - it's a wonderful supportive reaction to a really horrible and unnerving situation.

OP, I hope the interview went well this morning.

Hope today went well OP. Even if you don't get the job, I hope you've enjoyed a day away from the madness.

I’ve worked in places where there has been an awful culture - caused by a director bonking his secretary, then giving her a huge bonus and pay rise (hmmmmm). Everyone knew. She was promoted beyond her experience and qualifications. Everyone was scared to say anything and pretended to be her bezzie mate. Awful.

Yes. I worked in a place like this where the person was promoted way beyond her abilities and was manager of a large department. It was very stressful working there.
Then she moved to another company at the same level and they rumbled her in a few short weeks.
Not only is it horrid for the people they manage, but it is extremely unfair to other suitable candidates for promotion.

And ultimately bad for the boss's pet when they come up against cold hard reality.

Knowing that will happen doesn't make it easier for the people stuck in a workplace with them - I remember sitting on the Dublin train one Sunday evening after a weekend in the country and suddenly realising there were tears rolling down my face - I hadn't been thinking about the situation but my body knew. That was when I decided I needed to get out.

That's the issue with this. A lot of us have worked places where a new member of staff comes in and completely messes with the usual equilibrium.

This isn't anything to do with the fact that the new member of staff is transgender. This is the sort of person, male or female that can kill a small company dead.

I think the boss though won't be seeing it like that as G will be pushing the transphobic angle and actually that's just a small part of it. I think this guy would have been the same if he'd turned up as Gary, a 'friend' of the bosses. Yes the issues would be slightly different, but only the toilet one. I think the rest of the behaviour would still be about the same.

Personal experience of a badly disordered person causing carnage: they never do run up against reality. The smoke never clears. They will always be the hero of their own drama, their narrative will always be that everything was everyone else's fault, that everyone was awful all the time to poor them, that they were the picture of reasonability and innocence in a cruel world.

Whatever you did, whatever you sacrificed, however kind you were, how ever many times you were wonderful to them, a) it was never enough b) when you finally had to put down a boundary you and everything you ever did or said is immediately re cast as evil and c) when it goes pearshaped everything on earth will be your fault and all possible shit will be thrown in your direction. By a person with no boundaries. And God help you because they'll do whatever seems like a good idea at 3am.

The only thing you can do with a person in this kind of a mess is to get as far away from them as possible, with as much of yourself and your life still as intact as possible. And be very, very difficult to contact while grey rocking like mad until they trample on to someone more interesting.

My one threatened to thcream and thcream until she was thick if she didn't get promoted, but when she got her own way found she was working in a department where she was expected to put in the contractual hours. All her household maintenance and childcare depended on coming in late, leaving early, and taking a full lunchbreak. She lasted a few months.

Very odd woman. Not Ginny level, but not an easy person to work with - terribly charming to anyone she thought might serve as a stepping stone, less charming with colleagues.

How did the interview go Op?

@Froodwithatowel

That's exactly what happened in my old team. He is still there wreaking havoc. Spending hundreds of thousands of £ with no gain.

Not sure about Maya (though it's rare for there to be anything happening she doesn't know about) – but at least two of us &cos have been sharing updates about this. Fingers crossed the OP aced her interview.

have been sharing updates about this

I thought the idea was not to share updates in case of unintentinally outing OP.

But at a later date to suit her, to send a summary to an appropriate group so that for future reference the could say what rights any of us might have in a simial situation.

But in the end it is up to her not us re making it public.

Anyhow, am just hoping OP is okay today, and will be able to have a good weekend.

Yes, I'm hoping that the OP aced her interview and is celebrating somewhere with her DC and going to update us in her own sweet time.

Either way, I'm pretty sure that her notes about the Ginny situation could see her as the author of the next generation's Bridget Jones' Diary - I just hope that she remembers the MNers when she sells the film rights for millions...

Exactly. I've worked with a woman like this before - she was charming to anyone that she perceived as "superior" but would take pleasure in trampling over anyone else. She ended up being promoted to a plum position, and then it became obvious that she couldn't actually do the job, and was managed out.

The transphobic angle is being pushed by G because it's a really effective distraction.

This popped up on FB today and I thought of you…

Sorry, "I'm not putting up this it" either

"With"

Did you know the original thread was deleted as OP was so worried about being outed?
If OP wants to share then that's okay but currently this is not what she wanted, please be considerate of her wishes

Given all the concerns on this thread about her risk of exposure, risk to get income, I'm pretty shocked you are intentionally sharing it.

Her income*

Sharing between us as individuals. As in: "There's an update on the Ginny thread". Two of us, as I said. One person to another person.

OP I really think you should get this thread taken down. It's such an unusual chain of events it's going to be very identifiable.

I have recently been seeking a suitable counsellor for DD who is struggling with certain issues (not trans related in any way).
I looked on the Counselling Directory which has a handy list of those "near me", each one listed includes a photo and brief bio, with qualifications and specialist areas of interest. I immediately discounted all those with She/Her in their bio.
They were all female, or at least appeared to be bearing in mind the wonders of photoshop.
My assumption is that counsellors/therapists who list their pronouns:

• follow fashion and jump on the bandwagon to be trendy
• haven't adequately researched the issue
• don't understand the difference between sex and gender
• have swallowed the Koolaid
• are unlikely to properly investigate a young persons problems and the origins of their difficulties
• may be actively harmful by negligently ignoring other issues a young person has and unthinkingly pushing trans ideology
• are unlikely to be able to properly address problems that aren't trans related
• are not neutral in their attitudes
• are unlikely to be of any help to my daughter

Some or all of the above.

Though I accept they could be advertising to a different clientele and may be of help to them.

Fannycann I agree. Professional pronoun display= craven and/or idiot and/or misogynist. None of which are great in the workplace obviously. Guess it sorts the wheat from the chaff pretty well. Just not in the way they think.