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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ginny - an update

1000 replies

idontknowwhattosay23 · 09/07/2023 13:02

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Boiledbeetle · 15/07/2023 15:13

pinklama · 15/07/2023 14:57

OP has sick DC as a perfect excuse...no one argues with that. She may even be feeling poorly to 😉.

Best of luck with the second interview on Monday. Don't feel guilty, your misguided boss has in many ways brought this on himself by making the work environment completely untenable for women to put up with. Before Ginny you seemed quite happy there.

Ooh true, and that wouldn't be lying so absolutely no need to feel guilty! OP was legitimately taking the children to be looked after by a friend

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/07/2023 15:30

I’m so glad it went well for you and all the very best of luck for Monday. I also don’t think you should feel remotely guilty. Do you think your boss has taken one second of his time to reflect on how he humiliated you? Everyone takes time off and many people make excuses when they’re job searching.

lordloveadog · 15/07/2023 15:31

Well done OP! All the best for Monday

Williehollobooby · 15/07/2023 15:59

Sounds promising. Well done. A good confidence boost for you. Op, please make a new thread before this one is full. I think we would all hate to miss the updates.

Fraaahnces · 15/07/2023 16:03

@DeanElderberry - absolutely agree re the American woman. I live in Aus and our left wing is still decidedly hanging over the line. They’re still right wing, but left of the other mob. I would describe myself as a swinging voter, but I am more humanitarian than anything, which makes voting very hard. Our human rights is rats hit and I feel like all this focus on immediate fucking gratification makes toddlers of us all.

IwantToRetire · 15/07/2023 16:26

So glad to here interview went well - and congratulations for getting a follow up interview on monday - fantastic.

Sorry about the DCs but it must be all part of the plan to help you get away from Ginny (and two faced boss).

So not only have DCs upset your plans for friday but now you cant make work on monday, emergency childcare etc..

Think how you can milk that for sympathy on Tuesday!

Then you will have an opening to say sorry didn't follow up on letters, how did it go, but not appearing top of your agenda.

(And ours!)

You aren't of course in any way obliged to fit us in to your very busy schedule, but I too have been worrying about the thread closing.

So even if you aren't around when that happens you can start a new one when you are ready.

Have a great weekend, despite the soft furnishings.

Team OP all the way!!

DeanElderberry · 15/07/2023 16:35

Well done on the interview, and sympathy on the children (and to the children, I'm sure it's no fun for them). Getting the follow-on interview is excellent - your application already made a good impression, the phone interview improved that. You're doing well - the last month's stress is probably helping fuel great things.

The recent Commonly known stuff thread recommended shaving foam for cleaning carpets and soft furnishings. I have not tried this myself (yet, the cat has a UTI and overshot the litter tray), but it might be worth tackling a corner somewhere and seeing what happens

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4837101-what-other-commonly-known-stuff-should-i-know-but-dont?page=24&reply=127346535

Pudmyboy · 15/07/2023 16:48

Well done, OP! Everything crossed for you for Monday, be your usual self and you will shine!

BobaFeta · 15/07/2023 16:58

What exciting news op, sending good luck thoughts for your next interview.
Hope kiddies feel better soon and the soft furnishings survive xx

SquirrelSoShiny · 15/07/2023 17:09

Brilliant OP! You're kicking ass 💪 x

Coyoacan · 15/07/2023 18:01

Brilliant update. I too hate lying but if weren't for your boss' treatment of you, you wouldn't be looking for a new job in the first place.

pinklama · 15/07/2023 18:09

And OP if you get (& accept) 🤞the role your final email to your boss could include this link.

It starts with maybelline make up but carries on & includes other aspects, including periods & tampons, & does a good summary of the whole woke ‘mind virus’ movement & why it is nuts.

Maybelline use men to sell makeup - When did society decide it was ok to erase women? | Mark Dolan

We've gone back decades, in terms of fighting for women's hard earned, sex based, rights. When did society, decide it was ok, to belittle, mock and erase wom...

https://youtu.be/FvPgM6M2LAQ

WibblyWobblyJane · 15/07/2023 19:09

The best reason for seeking a new job is always the opportunity the new job offers. Keep your answers forward looking.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 15/07/2023 19:17

Congratulations & good luck. Hope the DC are better soon.

Mix56 · 15/07/2023 20:18

Bravo on the 2nd interview...surely this must be divine mn intervention!

EdithStourton · 15/07/2023 20:35

Excellent news on the second interview.

I hope the DC have stopped up-chucking. We always found that Dettol spray at least got rid of the stink.

Good luck for Monday!

Boudiccabitesback · 15/07/2023 20:53

My DD and her friend (both late 20s) were swallowing this bullshit up until fairly recently.
I would like to think me challenging their thinking on the subject of men in women's spaces had a hand in shoving them over the line. It has gone too far and we really need to make a stand now.
How the fuck have 1% over ruled whatever the % of women that think this is outrageous and dangerous??? That was some serious smoke screen and mirrors, worthy of Paul Daniels!!
Is it really to put us back in our boxes, chained to the kitchen sink?? Sounds simple, but according to their shite I'm not allowed a voice at all..... without a punch in the face obviously 🙄
@idontknowwhattosay23 I salute you 🫡
Make sure your undies and shoes are comfortable for your interview on Monday 👍🌺

Rightsraptor · 15/07/2023 20:56

OP I can assure you that you are not the only person here longing to know how the handing in of the letter went. I'm all agog.

Best of luck for Monday.

Rightsraptor · 15/07/2023 20:58

Bicarbonate of soda dissolved in water is excellent at getting rid of vomit smells.

dunBle · 15/07/2023 21:07

Oh well done on getting a second interview, and good luck on Monday! Hopefully the kids will be feeling better by then.

SidewaysOtter · 15/07/2023 21:47

Well done OP and best of luck for Monday!

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 16/07/2023 06:40

Good luck for Monday. You will smash it!

And as others have said, totally normal to use time off for interviews Think nothing of it.

I hope your kids are feeling better.

PriOn1 · 16/07/2023 07:00

Congratulations on getting a second interview.

Sorry to hear about the children, that isn’t good news. I hope you stay well yourself. It’s not good timing, but hopefully you and they will be okay for Monday.

Xenia · 16/07/2023 10:05

I think we are all very invested in this case now so keep up the good work. Good luck on Monday.

pinklama thank for the news link. They do do interviews extremely well on that channel which I sometimes watch on youtube.

viques · 16/07/2023 10:48

CashmereDarling · 09/07/2023 22:29

Gosh just remembering now actually, they said something like "I have had male privilege in the work place for 25 years, Cis women have never known the privilege so can't miss it like I do"

I mean...WTF 🤯
"I'm so special I must be treated as the most special and best woman of all and you wouldn't understand because you're not special and irresistible like meeeee"

Special when a man, and now special as a woman. Gosh, some people are just erm, born reborn special, aren’t they.

I remember your first thread OP, I am so pleased you are looking for another job ( they will be lucky to get you) and that you and your fellow adult human females are keeping your spirits up even though you are seated below the salt and are not subjected to unwanted sexual attention every time you walk down the street!

I think the poster upthread who speculated that your previously lovely boss is going through a bit of an identity crisis himself is probably right, I can’t see any other reason for someone to throw reliable efficient staff under the rainbow bus and risk their business in the process. I wonder how the site visits with Ginny in tow are going down with the clients, not well for many of them I imagine, people are not stupid and can spot potential problems and issues a mile off.

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