Ginny - an update

[idontknowwhattosay23]

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

I think sharing an existing thread is OK. Only the OP can make the call to pull it and it’s already out there for anyone to find anyway.
However, as this thread has had details added to it as time goes on, if I were the OP I would pull it for that reason because (to me) they look identifying.
That said, many posters slightly vary the details that they post, specifically to avoid building up an accurately identifying picture, so I guess OP may be already confident that identifying details have been blurred sufficiently.

I find it odd that the American woman in the Youtube clip sees people with pronouns as liberals and left wing. As a lefty, I see them as extreme individualists and narcissists - a mindset not unual in the very young, possibly a necessary one as they try to work out who they are and how their world works, but very very dodgy in anyone over the age of 18. The older they get, the louder the alarm bells, but not because I think they're left wing. Quite the contrary.

Deanelderberry- I agree. I don't think having a trans identity gives away a persons political leanings. I do think that those who are most sympathetic and accommodating to the demands of TRAs tend to be liberals, and I think people often conflate the two.

I think the TRA element of people with trans identities are often narcissists and those with borderline personality disorder. However, many others have other mental health issues that are socially disabling and do we don't hear from them so much.

She absolutely thinks the same way and has often openly said that these people are narcissists etc - she also talks about how she used to BE one of them, moved in the same circles etc when she was at university and so knows how many of them are (American) liberals etc.

There has become a radical difference between identifying as liberal left and actually knowing what left values are and having actual values and beliefs relating to them.

Like 'woman' and 'lesbian' and 'inclusive' it's a word that has been emptied of all meaning, broken up and used for parts.

I mean how many people now would feel comfortable, around the modern and progressive to say they were at heart a Conservative voter?

'Left' now means 'nice and right thinking people'.

The polls keep messing up political predictions because of it. People will swear face to face that they will definitely vote labour because nice person, but in the ballot box where no one is watching them, they are safe to act on their beliefs. This is why Mandelson and New Labour dreamed of a post democratic age where voters stopped having any ability to resist the right thinking superiors Doing Good To Them.

Yep. The polarisation of everything is extremely unhealthy.

Don't want to unquestioningly support trans "rights"? You're a bigot and a nazi.

Don't want to vote Labour (or Democratic if you're in the US)? You're a fascist.

Don't want to commit to the latest cause du jour and instead want to question/test/take time/apply critical thinking first? You're a horrible scummy person who needs to educate themselves and do better etc etc etc.

And I say that as a Labour voter. But I haven't been a lifelong Labour voter and there may be times in the future where I change my vote.

"but at least two of us &cos have been sharing updates about this.
This does imply more people are involved and don't know what '&cos' means, I thought it meant more as in '& company'

Exactly. Putting people into narrow boxes is never a good idea.

Slightly worried by the lack of updates from OP. Just hope it's nothing serious.

@Mars27 OP is probably having a weekend off thinking about all stuff at her work. She's under no obligation to come back and update us. I'd be exhausted if I were her after the week she has had.

Not saying that she's under any obligation to update us, not that at all. After all, we are just a bunch of randoms in the internet. But given that she was posting a lot before her interview but radio silence since, yes, it has me slightly worried that there were further unsavoury developments in her sorry tale.

I hope she's just managing to forget about it all and have some time with the children - she really needs a break from having to think about the crazy.

Hopefully it's that, fingers crossed 🤞🏼

Hello!

I'm so sorry if I've caused anyone to worry, my sincere apologies, I have been meaning to update but I have had my hands full with the children. I had to go and collect them both from nursery / day care within an hour of each other as both places called to say they had been sick, thankfully this happened just after my telephone interview so some luck was in my favour! I think it's the mumsnet women's posse that have been sending me well wishes 😄 if you could all send good vibes to my multiple soft furnishings that have been vomited on that would be a huge help.

I feel the interview went really well! I have been asked to the in person interviews on Monday which is tricky as I'm in work but I've asked the boss if I can do a half day and he's text back to say absolutely, no problems at all. The only thing is I feel a bit... what's the word... conniving? Taking time off work to interview somewhere else. But he didn't ask why I needed the morning off so I didn't have to lie which would have made me very on edge. My only concern really is if the girls are still unwell by Monday I'm a bit stuck but I've a wonderful friend on standby who should be able to take them for a couple of hours.

I've not heard anything from people at work about how the letters being handed in went, and I really don't want to text anyone to ask but I must say I'm VERY curious as to how it all went down.

Anyway, a huge thank you to everyone here, your kindness really bolstered my confidence yesterday and particularly to the person who said to prepare for the question about why I was leaving my current job, I hadn't even thought that through before it was mentioned and I was asked this quite early on! Thanks to you I was really prepared so please accept my deepest thanks.

I'm going to have a proper read through the thread tonight and reply as much as I can. I know there are lots of questions I've missed x

@idontknowwhattosay23 Congratulations on the second interview!!! Sounds like they really are very very interested in you. Go get that job!!

sorry about children vomiting, fingers crossed its just a 24hr bug.

Good to hear that the interview went well and I hope the children are better soon.

Great update. Please give a months notice, as we need to keep up with Ginny.

Good news about the interview and moving onto the next stage. Bad news about the soft furnishings!

💐

We have all taken time out of one job to interview for another, we have to otherwise we'd never get other jobs.

It isn't conniving, it is how things work.

Enjoy your weekend. Hope the kids are feeling better.

And if anyone asks where you were when you get in on Monday afternoon you had an emergency dental appointment

@idontknowwhattosay23 Sorry tô hear about your kids, wishing them a speedy recovery, hopefully it's one of those 24hs bugs and it'll go away quickly.

Glad tô know the interview went well and that you've been called to a face to face on Monday, brilliant news 🎉

I wouldn't worry about lying, honestly. Just say kids are ill and you have childcare issues, that'll do and it's half the truth, don't give a too long explanation. I understand you feel bad about lying, I would too, but you have to think about the bigger picture here. With all due respect, you're not a brain surgeon missing an operation to go on a jolly, so you have to put things in perspective. Also, if your Boss had treated you in a different way I wouldn't be saying that but when he made your life a misery he wasn't thinking about you, so it's a two way street: treat me right and I'll treat you right, get it?

Most importantly, do not tell your colleagues that you went for an interview at all. "What did you do on your day off?", "Had a day for myself planned but kids went down with a bug" and change the subject quickly. If you're like me who can't lie to save your life, goes red in the face and start laughing, please do this.

Just rooting for you really badly, no one deserves what you've been through because of an old man's kinks.

Well done OP and hope your little ones will feel better soon.
And best of luck for Monday!!! you rock ))

OP has sick DC as a perfect excuse...no one argues with that. She may even be feeling poorly to 😉.

Best of luck with the second interview on Monday. Don't feel guilty, your misguided boss has in many ways brought this on himself by making the work environment completely untenable for women to put up with. Before Ginny you seemed quite happy there.