Ginny - an update

[idontknowwhattosay23]

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

I remember the original thread.
This is a horrendous outcome. Good luck in securing another job, but how dreadful that this person has succeeded in destroying a perfectly good workplace. I hope the boss comes to realise what’s really happening.

Have sent you a private message OP

have never randomly dropped into a lunch break conversation with colleagues how my knickers are riding up, or giggling as I recount a supposed incident involving a man pushing his groin against me and telling me I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen... ginny on the other hand, shares these daily.

It's sexual harassment pure and simple. The other blokes wouldn't get away with this.

Thanks for the update OP. It’s mind boggling that this is happening.

Do you have colleagues who you can talk openly with about the situation?

Please keep a record of all this situation in minute detail.

I have a feeling, in the not so distant future, women will be suing their previous places of employment for sexist discrimination for situations just like this.

It sounds hideous. Get out but keep a log.

Keep email records & bcc to your own private inbox.

If Ginny is incompetent they'll try and get other people to take the fall.

E.g. Ginny double books/forgets to attend an important meeting with clients. When shit hits the fan says, 'Oh OP said she would go.'

What ACTUALLY happened is at 2pm Ginny asked you to go to the 2.30 client meeting, but you said no, because you have one of your own at 3.

What you need to do, EVERY TIME is send an email at 2pm saying, Ginny, I'm just confirming that I am not available to help you with the Fraser meeting at 2.30 today. You said you had accidentally double booked, and asked if I could step in, but as I'm seeing a client at 3 it won't be possible to help with this.

Yes! Thank you. I was pretty sure it was a healthcare setting but I had nothing in my memory beyond that.

Oh my OP. What a nightmare. Keep documenting everything and seek ACAS advice.

It’s a drop in the ocean for your story but I can’t get beyond Ginny thinking they need tampons.

Sorry to read this. Does your boss own the company? Is he prepared to let things get to the point where the company suffers real financial harm due to Ginny's incompetence?

Ginny is obvious not suited to the job. Now you’re all in the little office together and everyone is on the same page (except Ginny and the boss) is should be more harmonious.

Stick together until she’s gone. It’s only a matter of time. The bigger problems are: restoring the reputation/ workings of the company and your boss - recovering authority from this will be difficult.

I'm retired now but did work in the public sector where people were just starting to become wary around certain colleagues.

I am speechless at what has happened to the OP, wishing you all the best over this nightmare situation.

I am so, so glad I am not in the workplace any more, it's become terrifying.

This is precisely what baffles me most, because YES, this company is entirely his. 30 years work from the ground up, he treasures the company like it's a child. Had wonderful client relationships and is well respected and very well liked in the industry. It could be argued the structure is quite old fashioned in so much as there's no real management hierarchy, just him. No HR department or anything like that. But until very recently the whole office worked wonderfully as a whole. Brilliant atmosphere and great productivity from the team, now it's just horrible.

Bloody hell. This is so bad it is almost unbelievable.

Good luck Op on surviving this and finding a new job.

If you all want to make one last push, you could use the recording at the meeting to present examples of sexual harassment by Ginny against colleagues by using inappropriate language and by describing sexual and sex adjacent situations.

That partly depends on whether sexual harassment is limited to one sex against another sex (which might be interpreted as not applying to a TWAW person) - I have no idea what the law is. If G and all the rest of you could be advised in writing not to do this in future, with a list of topics that should not be talked about in the workplace setting (by any of you), and the rest of you agree, maybe you can continue working together.

But I'm not sure I could stand it.

Fuck the Ginnys of the world and the AGP horses they rode in on.
I would be writing an anonymous letter detailing all of the advice you have had here- the sexual harassment, talking about completely inappropriate things, being asked for feminine hygiene products by a biological male. I would then say there are a number of people seeking legal advice and for your boss to keep a close eye on similar cases which haven’t ended well for the employers.
State how the company is going downhill and is not what it used to be, as everyone treading on eggshells, that the men who left were quite open as to why. That the boss needs to take legal advice because it could end in a lawsuit. And send! And if the boss ever asks deny deny.. he can’t prove it was any one person (or a group!)
god this makes me so angry

Hi OP, I didn't see the original thread but just wanted to add in addition to the many fantastic comments on here already that you have nothing to feel bad about for 'apologising', it has clearly peaked a number of your colleagues AND they have seen that their boss does not have the back of his staff and will cave into bullies, thereby he has lost their respect. You will soon find a BETTER job and look back on this whole episode one day as a distant memory and be glad you left.

I am so, so sorry OP. It really is a case of the lunatics have taken over the asylum.

Don’t beat yourself up over the apology. Putting food on the table for the DC has to be your priority. You had no choice.

Best of luck finding a new job ASAP. Steer clear of the troublemaker as much as you can, and ensure you keep a record of all interactions with said troublemaker while you are still there.

It is so bloody infuriating.

Men don't need tampons, and to be forced to accept that lie is a form of demoralisation. Good luck in finding a new job - sooner the better.

And, get the op to fork out for this from her own pocket to boot!

What a shitshow!

Boss sounds an absolute fool.

If they realise that Ginny isn't up to the job they probably won't dare sack him!

The irony of the company now providing san pro on the "say so" of the one person in the office who pretends to need it.

It is quite bizarre. Op and other women who actually need san pro had to fund this themselves. Then a biological male (who has no need) wishes to access those bought and paid for by others. For whatever reason, who knows (can guess). Suddenly the company provides it free.

all given a warning!

This is illegal - you cannot be given a warning for something you have had no part in, this will be deemed a false allegation. Have you raised this? Was the warning verbal or in writing and is it logged with HR?

Didn't see your original thread OP .
You've done what you need to survive in this job. Happy new job hunting.

As for why your boss allows this delusional person to act like this at work....maybe him and ginny "have a lot in common " you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Again wishing you lots of courage and 💪

Deepest sympathies, OP. Good luck with finding another job. Even if you felt able to stay at current place, your boss's sudden loss of marbles/backbone must be putting the company's future at risk. Get out while you can. Look for somewhere with an HR department. It might not help much, but your boss is clearly totally out of his depth with the various legal employment issues here.

I would just like to add that a female employee talking loudly and often in front of colleagues about her underclothing, being catcalled and so on would probably be getting short shrift from all concerned and possibly a warning.