I think what you mean is you can't understand Transgender people or Non-binary people because you think identifying this way is a cop-out which makes sense. To that though there are still only 0.24% of people in the UK from the recent census that even identified themselves with a gender identity different to that of there original sex yet they seem to get a disproportional amount of harassment for it.
I think we understand better than you do.
https://mirandayardley.com/en/genspect-2023-transgender-as-political-backlash/
Miranda is a transexual. Read what he has to say.
An underlying message behind the post-1950s sexual revolution is that the socially imposed limits on women becoming scientists, doctors and engineers was swept aside. That is not to say that there were not women who excelled in these professions before then, for example Rosalind Franklin, Elizabeth Blackwell and Hedy Lamarr.
The difference is that now these worlds are open to all women, no matter her background, and she can be her true, authentic self: what a woman (or a man) does is not defined by what she (or he) is: what we can do is no longer defined by whether we are woman, or man.
I think this is precisely where the transgender identity lobby has gone wrong: if we can say that being a man or a woman no longer defines the social things we are able to do, instead of reaching the natural conclusion that our sex should not limit our personalities, the argument being made is that our personalities must dictate our sex.
And so, our entire personalities are distilled into ‘woman’ or ‘man’.