Would you ever consider a transman a man?

[Sidaway]

Parallel question to this really:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4782092-would-you-ever-consider-a-transwoman-a-woman

Would the straight women here consider a trans-identified female, who "passed" really well, as a romantic/sexual partner?

And for the lesbian women here, would that "passing" be a turn-off?

Would I think they pass as a man/woman - no.

I am happy to say he/she but in the back of my mind I know that’s not their sex and I don’t think I’d ever not feel that.

I actually don’t know anyone who has been trans for 30+ years and so I don’t know how I would feel if they lived their entire life portrayed as the opposite sex.

I probably wouldn’t be in a relationship with a trans person because I think being trans involves a lot of mental anguish and a lot of trauma, which I couldn’t deal with in a partner.

No

It’s not about passing, not that many seem to anyway, it’s about what sex they actually are in reality.

I’m a straight female, so I wouldn’t date trans men, because they’re women. I also couldn’t deal with someone who thinks gender is a thing that means you can change from a woman to a man or man to a woman.

No

Same.

In fact, years ago there was this guy in one of my circles... He was HOT! He looked uncannily like Johnny Depp. He had a girlfriend, they were even engaged at one point. I didnt know them personally at the time.

As it turns out, hes a trans man! I would never have guessed!

I have since become friends with his ex, and she has dated exclusively men, since breaking up with him (as he cheated on her).

The lack of penis would probably be a problem for me. But I also dont want to date all sorts of other people for all sorts of reasons.

No because they’re not, they’re women. They aren’t men because they haven’t changed sex and no I wouldn’t consider dating one because I like cocks (real
Ones not ones constructed out of other body parts)

Why would I?

Same as other thread

No as it’s not biological reality

My fiancé is a trans man. I consider myself straight, he insists I am Bi as he doesn't have a penis.

He passes really well, yes he is short for a man but he is very muscular (body builder) and hairy and his mannerisms etc are all male. I honestly don't know how he ever passed as a female to be honest.

He used male toilets and changing rooms without exception and has never been challenged.

The only thing that would give him away is the lack of adams apple. He even has man feet.

This basically - I imagine with testosterone they can recreate the body hair, or at least some of it, that I would find attractive in a man. But I love to get right into a man’s balls armpits and have a good old sniff - it’s the same smell I get from their top lip when I kiss them too. And I don’t know if a trans identifying female would have that pheromone thing going on purely from taking T.

TMI alert - I also love to give head, it’s one of my favourite things to do in the bedroom, to the extent that I can orgasm from doing it and marvel at the end result!

Even with a strap on or a medically constructed one etc a TM wouldn’t get the same pleasure from their ‘penis’ that a man does. Which means I wouldn’t get the same pleasure from it that I do.

Sex is a big part of a relationship for me, so a man with a non functioning penis wouldn’t do it for me. If my long term partner had a tragic accident or was in some way unable then of course that’s a conversation we’d have to have, but I certainly wouldn’t actively choose a partner who couldn’t fulfil me sexually.

You're both wrong, and you're both lesbians.
You're a woman, your fiance is a woman. No penises = lesbians.

Obviously, a woman however much testosterone she takes is not a man.

As regards sexual attraction -
Actually being the wrong sex = non-starter.
Being the right sex but mimicking the wrong sex = also unattractive.
As above and also making gross stereotyped statements about 'girlhood' as applied to themselves = piss off you misogynist prick.
Being gender stereotype nonconforming confidently within your own sex, without mimicking the opposite sex = very attractive in my book :)

They could both still be bisexual but yes, they’re currently in a same sex relationship.

Have a look at photos of Buck as a younger person. Very effeminate. Smooth feminine skin. Aging definitely makes Buck look more like a balding beardy middle aged man, but so do the tattoos, breast removal, and the shoulder muscles (obviously targeted bodybuilding by Buck which is fair enough).

Buck also has a vagina and labia apparently, has has a hysterectomy and doesn't want a penis.

No I wouldn't consider a transman to be a man, but I would consider them as a transman rather than a woman.

I think that transmen trying to access men-only settings e.g. changing rooms and prisons are opening themselves up to a huge risk of abuse and therefore should have separate spaces. Transwomen are also at great risk of abuse from men... but by opening up women only spaces to transwomen, women are endangered and therefore transwomen should be afforded their own spaces.

I lived with a transman and if he'd never have told me I wouldn't have guessed. He was in a long-term relationship with a bisexual man, and the other transman I know was in a relationship with a transman and also a woman at one stage... so there's definitely no difficulty in finding a partner for trans people!

@TheBugWife I was just going to say thanks for sharing an unusual perspective. I'm not sure your contribution was super helpful given that that was precisely the question being asked @postapesto

No

Would I date a transman? Probably not. I'm attracted to a Penis not labia. I can't help that.

Wouldn’t they have a fake penis though?

For me if they had no boobs and a penis I probably still wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with them just like I wouldn’t be with a non trans man who’s had a lot of plastic surgery as I think emotionally they may be quite challenging to be with.

I am always happy to contribute.

I probably would have felt the same as @postapesto before I met him so I don't find the comment offensive or unhelpful.

I know biological he will always be a female on the inside but to all intents and purposes, looks like a man, smells like a man, moves like a man...... I am attracted to his man shaped body because it's man shaped. The lack of penis took a little getting used to but there is nothing about him that makes me think woman in our day to day life and looking at us we just look like any other straight couple.

I think it was entirely helpful in the context. The PP's response showed the delusion that is the point of the questions.

Her fiance is a woman but she considers herself to be a heterosexual person. I'm sure you can see the logical contradiction in her self description?

It's not even that Buck doesn't want a penis, he did, but it's because at the time of his transition, there wasn't really a viable option with regards to creating a viable working penis, so he chose to forgo this and keep his female genitalia in tact. Buck also knows they are a woman, although for a time (and mostly as a porn actor), referred to himself as a 'man with a pussy'. Now he calls himself Tranpa.

I follow Buck on Twitter. Really interesting and very vocal about the importance of biological sex.

Anyway, in answer to the OP, no, a trans man is a trans man, and humans cannot change sex.

Ok but clearly as he is now, if I passed him in the street, I’d think he was a man.

so it’s not some hard and fast rule that all TM don’t pass due to obvious characteristics, as has been stated in this thread.

obviously the breast removal helps 😂

The lack of penis took a little getting used to but there is nothing about him that makes me think woman in our day to day life and looking at us we just look like any other straight couple.

But you realise that men have penises? How can your partner look like a man naked when there's a vagina not a penis?

No. They are women with body dysphoria