Has anyone else fallen out with their teen or adult daughters over GC views?

[Lilifer]

Following from a comment on another thread, I'm wondering how many of us are out there who have completely different views on gender ideology than our teenagers or adult kids and has that affected your otherwise close relationships with them?

It has for me. My two girls are law students (one in Oxford) the one who is in Oxford is particularly TWAW in her views. When she was home at Christmas she chided me for referring to her non binary friend as he instead of they. I said nothing to keep the peace and didn't want to ruin Christmas in a row but it's horrible having this huge divide between us, this big thing that we cannot discuss because it would end up in some horrific row that might last for a long time. I don't think I can face that so for the moment I'm saying nothing in it.

But I want to discuss it with them so much because it is so important. And I don't think they are aware of the implications of any of it. For eg I mentioned the Tavistock clinic being closed down because of the safeguarding issues and massive clinical failures and my daughter seemed to think that puberty blockers were ok because they were reversible, like just pressing pause on puberty. They both also believe that JK Rowling is transphobic despite not being able to point to any concrete examples. And these are bright well educated kids. What the hell are they learning in these institutions?

Maybe it's just their youth. But this has definitely caused a wedge between me and my two girls and it makes me sad.

As we disagree we've decided not to discuss it further. We are poles apart.

Mine is 21 and hasn't spoken to me for ages.
She's studying biology ffs.

Oh wow, I was there and she was fantastic 👏

I miss my Dd a lot, but she just won't have anything to do with me, I'm not even sure she believes it really but peer pressure plus she's autistic and I think is sucked in and isn't thinking.
Days like today are difficult but I fight this for her too.

Dd is firmly gc. Has trans friends but has a very JKR approach.
Ds1, is at a notoriously TRA RG uni with a NB identity - knows my views, finishes this year so let’s see what being out of the bubble does…
Ds2 is gc.
Ds3 fundamentally disagrees with using generic labels to create ‘communities’ - has several gay friends, happily plays Hogwarts Legacy and is re-reading HP.

Children and parents have always disagreed. The difference with this is that these are disagreements about facts and science with those who believe in them being the ones ostracised. Interesting how many teenagers / adult children dissolve into tears rather than finding logical arguments to debate.

I do believe that it will eventually pass as the poor young people caught up in this look at the devastation caused to their bodies, fertility and mental health. They will not be silent with their future rage.

I don't know how you all mangr to live in that egg shell walking compelled language hell, I just couldn't stand it anymore, it gave me a sinking feeling in my stomach and anxiety.

I work in a library and the library community is particularly captured. I'm enjoying work less and less due to the posturing. Am trying to keep my head down and just get on with the job but it is so difficult.

Yes DS is friends with all state educated students and is horrified how they kowtow to the institutions norms and suspend all critical thinking the moment they walk thru the gates. It's sad really.

I say nothing to keep the peace. Son 1 shouts, son 2 cries. The one I'm most disappointed in is husband as he's old enough to know better, he's not thought about it enough though (why would he) and gets all his news from the Guardian.

3 mid teen DDs and all mildly GC I'd say.

I'm usually quite liberal in my views but the whole twaw mantra really riles me.

We have had some discussions about it though, generally we don't go there now.

Yeah mine think I'm a terf. They think JKR is transphobic but can't say one thing from her essay which they think is transphobic (mind you neither can my colleagues who have also drank the koolaid).

I think they are less TWAW than they were previously so there is hope. My youngest dd has decided she is gay and has started talking about changing her gender. She's 10.

I think it's part of life to disagree with your parents and think they are crusty old dinosaurs who don't understand. I'm sure my parents did their share of eye rolling when I was young and thought I knew everything, too.
I can see that it is very important to them to fit in on this issue at school, where the flags are flying, PSHE lessons and assemblies are all about being kind, and your peers would ostracise you if you stepped out of line. Would take a brave teen to offer an alternative point of view.

I'm the daughter in this situation. I disagree with my mum's views, so we simply don't discuss it. I don't expect to agree with her on everything and our mutual love and respect for each other is stronger than any opinion we might have.

My DC said I sound like JK Rowling.

We have to agree to disagree and I refuse to be called CIS she said that makes me a terf I said NO respect MY CHOICE to be referred to in a name of MY CHOOSING and I will respect yours there is a circular argument

You

No I haven't fallen out with mine. She broadly agrees but is a teen so is living alongside her peers being mostly on board with the ideology. I think she avoids conversation about any of it when she can but talks to me about things she knows she cannot voice to her friends. She doesn't try to police my language or thoughts and I give her the same courtesy.
I think DSD was more in the sway but is able to have sensible conversations around the subject without drama.
DSS seems to have not noticed any of this going on despite being in his 20's and studying for a while in Brighton 😄

I have 4 adult children Two gay men, a straight man and a bi daughter. The only one who is GC is my straight son. My daughter has 2 children ffs. Still, we've managed to stay on talking terms because they are adults and I don't want to cause a rift. My second husband on the other hand....... I left him because I can't take the level of disrespect it takes to tell me I need to accept a penis can be female.

I don't even argue. There's no point, I'd be pissing in the wind. They're hopefully off to university within the next couple of years and the situation will be the same there. It's probably easier for them to believe in the new religion as being a gender atheist at university is likely even harder than it is at school.

Stupid phone

You as a "cis woman", excuse me I dont identify as cis just woman will do, well you can't call yourself that..why? Because its transphobic, why? Because your CIS! I don't identify as that, but but but it just means you identify as how you were assigned at birth, I don't identify as cis I identify as a woman, but but you can't its transphobic.....why?

It's revenge from when she was two 21 years ive been waiting to say why? Why? WHY???

I have mildly agreed to differ from my young adult children on this. They have a trans cousin who has had surgery very young. They know I think that was rash; they also accept that I took two years to agree to pierced ears for any of them, and that I got a second opinion on supposedly necessary surgery for one of them and chose a different (and successful) route.

So I think they just see me as very, very cautious about permanent changes made to young bodies.

They also all winced at the suggestion that as their parents aren’t very stereotypical of their gender, maybe nowadays we’d be called trans. They only really, deep down, seem to think it applies to nice looking young people under 30.

My daughter is only 9 (10 next Sunday), so young enough to still have the beliefs I’m teaching her and so far she is with me on men can’t be women.

Im hoping by the time she reaches the age where she starts to question it, she will either carry on believing what I’ve told her (the truth), or that the whole thing has fizzled out some especially with the Tavistock clinics being closed down and stuff like that

Oh that’s bloody hilarious….but sad too

My DD is on her 30s, lesbian and TWAW.

she knows I am very GC and we don’t mention it now.

she is the diversity lead in her company and I asked what she was doing to encourage those with SEN and physical disabilities to join. Her sister has global delay and autism so she knows the difficulties people with SEN (especially those like her sister who low academic and cognitive issues). she muttered something about a couple of her colleagues had Asperger’s…. But pride was a big success and she had enjoyed trans day/ month etc.

she tried to be ‘non binary’ for a while ( I know this as she started putting they/them on her Twitter and when her mates text me it was alway ‘they have said’ etc) but I ignored it and I think she wasn’t getting the adoration she thought she was would. She said it was exhausting. I told her she was special enough and only those with no personality have to adopt the NB stuff.
we have had her friends to stay ( it’s like a LGBT etc etc smorgasbord when they come - all blue hair and clothes last seen in 1982 on kids telly) - I avoid using pronouns and call everyone sunshine. It works.

but she agrees kids should not be put on puberty blockers etc .

It's tragic that parents have to sit down with young children and press on them men aren't women and biological reality.

So, if she’s a lesbian, is she happy to have sex with a penis? Cos then she’s bisexual not a lesbian.