Page 7 | Question about trans women cycles

Borris · 2023-01-23T20:34:58+00:00

I have a genuine question I have a new ish work colleague who I get on well with and enjoy her company. She's a lesbian. Except that her girlfriend is a trans women. That's fine. I'm happy to refer to her by her chosen name and pronouns. But what confused me is my friend saying more than once that their cycles had synched up and so they had one week a month when they were both super emotional. Can this be a thing? Do trans women take different hormones at different times of the month? Genuine question, not being goady Obviously only asking out of sheer nosiness. The first time she mentioned their cycles I didn't know that the partner was a trans woman and so now feel it's too late to ask!

IcakedefargeIam · 24/01/2023 15:27

Yes, @Ereshkigalangcleg funny that

Wiccan · 24/01/2023 15:32

IcakedefargeIam · 24/01/2023 15:24

Why is gender dysphoria treated differently from any other delusion? We don't affirm anorexic, schizophrenics, munchausen (although 'by proxy' sometimes gets a pass). Certainly, if a man or woman's are mentally tortured by a delusion we give them therapy and drugs. Why is this one different? Blokes can wear frocks, put on lippy, take wrong sex hormones, even have surgery, they will still be blokes. It's not wrong to say that. It doesn't mean you hate them or you want them to not exist. That's created a culture of victimisation that's been disastrous for women and children and harmful, in the long term, to these men and on the wider society.

I think JKR said something pertinent.

Absolutely spot on . There are also some trans people who have links to some extremely disturbing stuff .

DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry · 24/01/2023 15:43

wrt comments above about maybe the male-bodied individual was on hormones that caused a cyclical swing (why?).

If anyone who suffered from dysmenorrhea had a non-mestruating partner who took some medication that gave them problems on a 28-day cycle, I would expect that person to ensure that their elective and controllable pain did not coincide with their partner's non-elective pain.

Someone has to tell this woman that her partner is not a lesbian, is monstrously selfish, and is not someone it would be wise to get pregnant with.

WhereYouLeftIt · 24/01/2023 15:46

titchy · 23/01/2023 20:52

Maybe OP's friend has horrible PMT and this is a way of their partner to ignore them cos theirs is worse?

The trans version of the Dressing Gown of Doom? OP's colleague is not allowed to complain of her pain because his is SO much worse? <rolls eyes>

DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry · 24/01/2023 15:49

threads like this make being a sad old cat lady seem such a good choice

MeanCanadianLady · 24/01/2023 15:49

Anyways I didn’t mean to derail. I think the point I was trying to make is that when I read posts about trans women claiming to have periods, PMS and cramps my brain goes completely numb because NFP kind of requires that I know a lot more detailed information about a woman’s cycle than average. So I’m just like “Oh that’s cool. So you have mythological ovaries that make you experience there four cycles of female fertility? AMAZING.” 🙃

It’s incredible how they have turned the very physical and inescapable physiology of our bodies (that many of us struggle with, may find painful or even horrifying) into some sort of commodity that they wish to buy with money.

It’s really offensive.

MeanCanadianLady · 24/01/2023 15:57

I think it even worse when they don’t want to buy it though but play pretend, act out and ask that we go along with it and entertain them and feel sorry for their made up suffering when we are truly experiencing this. It’s really twisted. I will not pretend that you have a period, cramps and PMS! That’s abuser level stuff and it’s weird. And I’m a more relaxed GC I do the pronouns and everything. But I draw the line at pretending they experience biological womanhood.

Justasec321 · 24/01/2023 16:10

DietCock · 23/01/2023 21:11

If any man wants to have the period pain I used to have, he's welcome to it. I suspect there would be 0 takers for that one (think of at least 24 hours every month of appalling pain, diarrhoea, vomiting, and a severe dose of javelin arse, followed by four or so days of moderate pain and javelin arse - and still having to "just get on with it").

So in OP's case, her work colleague says she's in a lesbian relationship, but she's in a relationship with a man who claims that he's a woman and claims that he has a menstrual cycle. I would probably stick to being polite and professional with this colleague and leaving it at that.

@DietCock I used to get all of that too. Awful. I remember lying on the floor of the loo in school unable to move. I could not leave the loo due to diarrhea, and vomiting.

It eased off in my 20s but from 13 to late teens early 20s I really suffered.

BUT - what causes that shooting pain in the rectum? I remember it - so horrible.

So far my dds seem to have avoided it thankfully.

Echobelly · 24/01/2023 16:12

Florissant · 24/01/2023 13:07

I don't know what circles you frequent but I've never seen that on the FWR board on MN nor has it ever been an issue IRL.

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You say you've never seen this attitude anywhere but in the first page of this thread there is a post claiming trans women are 'one upping' about period pain and another saying they are 'gaslighting women that they have it worse', so which is why I said it. I think they're trying to express solidarity, and they've possibly done it clumsily but they weren't saying they endure worse than periods.

If you're referring to people taking about trans women's involvement in women's issues etc, yes on Twitter I have certainly seen people bemoaning that trans women only care about trans issues and not women's problems, but then when trans women do talk about things affecting other women they're shouted down as creepy and wrong and 'Oh, I'd never do/say that, it just shows you're not a woman'.

Palmfrond · 24/01/2023 16:14

A trans lady who wishes to be considered a true lady must always cycle side saddle, for this is what is truly ladylike and what ladies always do.

On a serious note @Borris your colleague sounds fully gaslit to Stockholm syndrome proportions and is perhaps trying out this fun game on others. As pps have noted, perhaps self preservation in a workplace environment trumps being compassionate this instance.

WhiteFire · 24/01/2023 16:17

Itismeghan · 24/01/2023 14:44

OK. Put yourself in their shoes, metaphorically speaking. Imagine feeling that you’re a woman trapped in a man’s body. Would you deem yourself mentally ill and seek therapy, or would you live as your true self?

I would seek therapy.

TheShellBeach · 24/01/2023 16:18

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TheShellBeach · 24/01/2023 16:19

BUT - what causes that shooting pain in the rectum? I remember it - so horrible

Progesterone affects smooth muscles.

Ofcourseshecan · 24/01/2023 16:20

Itismeghan · 24/01/2023 12:18

So many of you are referring to this trans woman as ‘he’.

If your offspring was a trans woman, would you really refuse to use ‘she’?

I call all male humans ‘he’ and all female humans ‘she’. Lying is no good for anybody.

TheShellBeach · 24/01/2023 16:23

Itismeghan · 24/01/2023 10:27

The amount of transphobia on here is appalling. How would you feel if your child was a trans woman and this was the way people spoke about her?

If my child was a transwoman he would be a man, and I would refer to him as such.

DarkDayforMN · 24/01/2023 16:25

I think they're trying to express solidarity,

Pretending to be in pain when talking to someone who is actually in pain is the exact opposite of solidarity. It’s the exact opposite of empathy. I can’t believe this even needs saying. It’s narcissism and, yes, oneupmanship.

And you would easily recognise this if it wasn’t specifically female pain being mocked and dismissed in this way. If you were punched in the balls you wouldn’t appreciate a woman saying “I know exactly how you feel, it happened to me last week.”

MeanCanadianLady · 24/01/2023 16:27

Echobelly · 24/01/2023 16:12

You say you've never seen this attitude anywhere but in the first page of this thread there is a post claiming trans women are 'one upping' about period pain and another saying they are 'gaslighting women that they have it worse', so which is why I said it. I think they're trying to express solidarity, and they've possibly done it clumsily but they weren't saying they endure worse than periods.

If you're referring to people taking about trans women's involvement in women's issues etc, yes on Twitter I have certainly seen people bemoaning that trans women only care about trans issues and not women's problems, but then when trans women do talk about things affecting other women they're shouted down as creepy and wrong and 'Oh, I'd never do/say that, it just shows you're not a woman'.

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I get were you are coming from. Some of them might not be intentionally offending us but that doesn’t mean what they are doing should be excused. They are degrading our sex based rights. How are we to not take that very personally? They are making a mockery of things we have struggled with and been shamed for since puberty. And it is mainly men who shamed us for it. But now that men think it’s cute and trendy to be a woman we are supposed to forget all of that and be nice to them?

If they just wanted to wear dresses and heals and have others call them Sarah and that was the end of it it would be one thing. But they want us to give them the whole world and punish the people who aren’t down to play along. That’s not right. It’s a method of brainwashing!

DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry · 24/01/2023 16:27

trying to express solidarity

I your friend broke their leg, would you get crutches and start hobbling around and looking for sympathy to 'express solidarity'?

It is expressing derision and hatred.

TheShellBeach · 24/01/2023 16:27

MeanCanadianLady · 23/01/2023 23:16

There is no cycle. Only women with a uterus, ovaries and a cervix can experience a menstrual cycle. We have four stages actually. Follicular, ovulation, luteal and menstrual.

Our ovaries produce a great deal of these hormones. Other parts of the body such as the adrenal glands also produce these but think of the ovaries as holding the reigns calling the shots! None of this happens without these two organs.

In the follicular phase we have just finished our last period. Our body is gradually increasing estrogen and FSH to grow an egg follicle. The estrogen gives us energy and slowly raises our sex drive, then we ovulate causing a burst of testosterone! Yes women produce this too.

Actually did you know that ovulation is the only time women produce this hormone? If you are taking hormonal birth control then you never produce this (assuming the birth control is doing its job correctly) and you completely miss out on it. There are actually growing theories that this is why many women on hormonal birth control experience depression, low sex drive and fatigue.

Ovulation is the shortest stage. The egg is typically only available for 24-48 hours tops but the boost in hormones last for quite awhile as this tells the body “GET READY TO MAKE A BABY! GO GO GO!” and your body begins to produce a lot of progesterone telling your uterus to make a nice comfy thick lining of blood if that baby sticks they have a nice soft lining full of nutrients to make its home. After about a week and a half roughly depending on the lady the uterus will take no that no baby is happening and your progesterone will take a nose dive. This nose dive in your hormones is what causes PMS and moodiness.

So unless your friend’s trans lady is getting a very sophisticated and personalized round of hormones I highly doubt they are feeling anything like this. Typically they are just taking a flat dose of estrogen and completely missing out on these other complicated factors. They are certainly not experiencing cramps. That requires a uterus.

Did you know you can actually watch your cycle happen before you witness the symptoms? I do something called natural family planning and I can know 24 hours before a mood swing hits and predict my periods before they happen!

Here I’m happy to over share. 😂😂😂 I take my basal body temperature every morning with a special thermometer. When my estrogen is high my temp is low because estrogen lowers your body temp at night! When progesterone is high your body temp spikes. This usually happens around ovulation. As you can see the counting temps with numbers gain after I ovulate.

I usually experience what my husband calls “mini PMS” when I ovulate. I also have ovulation pain for about 12 hours.

I used natural family planning to boost chances of conception.

I also never used pregnancy tests because I knew if I was pregnant by my temperature. As long as it stayed high after the second half of my cycle, I knew I must be pregnant.

Similarly, if it dropped, I knew that my period was about to start.

Waitwhat23 · 24/01/2023 16:28

Echobelly · 24/01/2023 16:12

You say you've never seen this attitude anywhere but in the first page of this thread there is a post claiming trans women are 'one upping' about period pain and another saying they are 'gaslighting women that they have it worse', so which is why I said it. I think they're trying to express solidarity, and they've possibly done it clumsily but they weren't saying they endure worse than periods.

If you're referring to people taking about trans women's involvement in women's issues etc, yes on Twitter I have certainly seen people bemoaning that trans women only care about trans issues and not women's problems, but then when trans women do talk about things affecting other women they're shouted down as creepy and wrong and 'Oh, I'd never do/say that, it just shows you're not a woman'.

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I assume you've not seen the video on Twitter where a transwoman is histrionically clutching their abdomen and complaining about the cramps while having their 'first period!!. As they do not (and have never had) a uterus and so cannot have a period (the discharge of the lining of the uterus), it's very hard to not see it, at best, play-acting, and at worst, sheer mockery.

DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry · 24/01/2023 16:29

I've seen it. Unadulterated mockery and very offensive.

TheShellBeach · 24/01/2023 16:33

Whichwhatnow · 24/01/2023 13:03

Yes this is bollocks but appears to be quite a prevalent delusion. My neighbour goes on and on about her periods and how she can't wait to go through the menopause so she stops getting PMT. She's recently started mentioning hot flushes and how she can't wait to not be worried about an unwanted pregnancy.

She is very obviously a fully intact man (the clingy clothes around the crotch area and full beard make this extremely clear). It's insane.

Yet you refer to him as "she".

Ofcourseshecan · 24/01/2023 16:41

DarkDayforMN · 24/01/2023 16:25

I think they're trying to express solidarity,

Pretending to be in pain when talking to someone who is actually in pain is the exact opposite of solidarity. It’s the exact opposite of empathy. I can’t believe this even needs saying. It’s narcissism and, yes, oneupmanship.

And you would easily recognise this if it wasn’t specifically female pain being mocked and dismissed in this way. If you were punched in the balls you wouldn’t appreciate a woman saying “I know exactly how you feel, it happened to me last week.”

Exactly. They can express sympathy, by all means. Not fake solidarity, demanding that you collude in a delusion.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 24/01/2023 16:42

Itismeghan · 24/01/2023 14:44

OK. Put yourself in their shoes, metaphorically speaking. Imagine feeling that you’re a woman trapped in a man’s body. Would you deem yourself mentally ill and seek therapy, or would you live as your true self?

Probably the former; and I d really hope it worked , because it must be miserable wanting to be something that you can never, ever be.

Having said that, I don’t see what living as your true self has got to do with it, because men and women in Western Society, don’t really live so differently one from another ( at least in theory).

At risk of deletion, doesn’t living as your true self involve knowing what you are, and striving to make the best of it ( maybe not just for yourself, but for other people as well)?

Oblomov22 · 24/01/2023 16:45

She's talking nonsense. How can a trans mtf have a cycle. They can't. They don't have a menstrual cycle. I would have to correct her, ask her what she means.