Pronouns at nursery

[PronounsBaby]

I'll start by saying I don't really have a problem with people stating their pronouns if they feel it necessary and is important to them (although I will do an internal eye roll and move on).

I personally don't like stating them as I don't think it should matter (if you are referring to me when I'm not there I think I'd prefer to be referred to by name). Ultimately I won't be putting them on my emails at work as I don't want to feel like I have to state " this is a woman talking! "

Anyway, my 8 mo is just about to start nursery. They have a board of staff members pictures and names along with pronouns. All sexed based except one male looking they/them. Fine.

They have given me a form to fill in about home life and have asked on there, what the family pronouns are and I'm not sure really what to put.

I guess 'they' as there are multiple members of the family but I know this isn't what they mean.

Maybe 'N/A' or 'none'? Maybe put 'none (sex based)'? Leave blank?

I don't want to start off on the wrong foot here but equally I don't really want to play along with the nonsense...

Has anyone navigated this?
I know it's not a big deal in the long run but I'm going to be leaving my PFB with them and don't want to worry about her/us being treated differently? Probably over thinking it...

I worked in a nursery where one child would point at himself in the mirror/photos and say 'it's yooooooou'. He knew it was him, but this was learned from family saying 'it's you!'. I remembered him years later when playing with my own children with things like mirrors. It's human habit, but it's funny how children learn to associate it.

I'd just leave it blank. If the nursery raise it, say that just as others have the right to state their pronouns, you have the right not to.

Id choose another nursery tbh. No preschooler needs that shit foisted on them.

It's a serious point that small children go through a stage of being very confused by pronouns. That's why in 'motherese' we often naturally avoid them, even 'you' and 'I' - if you're asking a small child at this stage to refer to them by name rather than 'you', and to yourself as 'mummy'. Doing anything other than standard English usage is only going to add to this.

So they're going to take all this time to learn each child's family pronouns?!

I'd settle for them just bothering to learn my name (Hint: it's not Mum)...

All this to pander to one staff member... 🙄

Great approach and maybe also ask why they are forcing staff and families who may ID as trans/bi to out themselves publicly? The only way to fight officious nonsense is to trump it with more officious nonsense.

Sounds like it's you who doesn't understand the role of pronouns in grammar. As the word says, they stand in for (all sorts of) nouns. So yes, of course all of us use pronouns all the time but we don't have pronouns.

I wouldn’t have my child in this nursery.

I'd probably try and find a different nursery

" we don't require any special treatment with regard to how we are addressed. Using our names ; "[child]'s mum / dad" ; or the usual pronouns for people of our respective sexes will be fine."

I’d be tempted to pick loads of neopronouns for each family member (including really special ones for the pets)…

Just to see what happened next.

I just couldn’t have such stupid people looking after and interacting with my child.

There are unintended consequences with the "inclusive" pronouns drive.

My kids are misgendered a lot, constantly when younger. Simply because they aren't dressed like total stereotypes. I taught them that most of the time it really doesn't matter. Why would it be an insult for a stranger to think you are the opposite sex, if you believe in equality of the sexes?

Teaching children that a) misgendering is a terrible thing to do and b) you must pay attention to superficial gender stereotypes in order to correctly choose a pronoun goes directly against my value of equality of the sexes. I'd not be happy to find this being taught.

neopronouns-list.tumblr.com/neopronouns-list

here’s just the ‘C’s

C
Ca/Cak/Cake/Cakes/Cakeself
Ca/Cana/Canal/Canals/Canalself
Ca/Cas/Can/Cans/Casself
Ca/Cat/Cats/Cats/Catself
Cae/Caer/Caers/Caers/Caerself
Ca/Care/Cares/Cares/Careself
Cake/Cake/Cakes/Cakeself
Canal/Canal/Canals/Canals/Canalself
Care/Care/Cares/Cares/Careself
Cat/Cat/Cats/Cats/Catself
Cel/Celest/Celestial/Celestials/Celestialself
Celestial/Celestial/Celestials/Celestials/Celestialself
Cele/Stial/Celestial/Celestials/Celestialself
Cer/Cerise/Cerise/Cerises/Ceriseself
Cha/Char/Charm/Charms/Charmself
Chao/Chao/Chaos/Chaos/Chaoself
Charm/Charm/Charms/Charms/Charmself
Chart/Reuse/Chartreuse/Chartreuses/Chartreuseself
Che/Cher/Cherry/Cherries/Cherryself
Che/Cher/Cherry/Cherrys/Cherryself
Chef/Chef/Chefs/Chefs/Chefself
Cherry/Blossom/Cherries/Blossoms/Blossomself
Cherry/Blossom/Cherrys/Blossoms/Blossomself
Cherry/Blossom/Cherries/Blossoms/Cherryblossomself
Cherry/Blossom/Cherrys/Blossoms/Cherryblossomself
Cherry/Blossom/Cherries/Blossoms/Cherryself
Cherry/Blossom/Cherrys/Blossoms/Cherryself
Cherry/Cherry/Cherries/Cherries/Cherryself
Cherry/Cherry/Cherrys/Cherrys/Cherryself
Che/Sher/Shers/Shers/Sherself
Chicken/Chicken/Chickens/Chickens/Chickenself
Chi/Cken/Chicken/Chickens/Chickenself
Cii/Ciir/Ciir/Ciirs/Ciirself
Cin/Cinna/Cinnas/Cinnas/Cinnaself
Cla/Claw/Claws/Claws/Clawself
Claw/Claw/Claws/Claws/Clawself
Clo/Clover/Clovers/Clovers/Cloverself
Cloud/Cloud/Clouds/Clouds/Cloudself
Co/Co/Cos/Cos/Coself
Co/Code/Codes/Codes/Codeself
Co/Com/Comet/Comets/Cometself
Co/Cow/Cows/Cows/Cowself
Code/Code/Codes/Codes/Codeself
Cola/Cola/Colas/Colas/Colaself
Cook/Cook/Cooks/Cooks/Cookself
Cow/Cow/Cows/Cows/Cowself
Co/Coy/Coys/Coys/Coyself
Cold/Cold/Colds/Colds/Coldself
Comet/Comet/Comets/Comets/Cometself
Cotton/Candy/Candies/Candies/Cottonself
Coy/Coy/Coys/Coys/Coyself
Cream/Soda/Creams/Sodas/Sodaself
Cre/Creek/Creeks/Creeks/Creekself
Creek/Creek/Creeks/Creeks/Creekself
Cry/Cryst/Crystal/Crystals/Crystalself
Cryp/Crypti/Cryptid/Cryptids/Cryptidself
Cryptid/Cryptid/Cryptids/Cryptids/Cryptidself
Crys/Crystal/Crystals/Crystals/Crystalself
Crystal/Crystal/Crystals/Crystals/Crystalself

Imagine pandering to some self obsessed arsehole by engaging in bizarre nonsense like this?!

Mad innit?

Wonder how teachers cope?

Just put as our sexes or something like that. Whilst I find this pronoun issue tricky it can be useful when caregivers don't have a name you are familiar with eg with non British staff. I was saved at work by pronouns in an email footer when I didn't know if someone i was meeting was male or female and needed to write something gender specific

Is your worry he’ll be treated the same as a woman? Women shouldn’t be wiping little girls’ genital unsupervised either, the rules are the same regardless.

Generally at my children's nursery everyone wiped within sight, not two in the tiny changing area though, but if you asked for a same sex carer they would try to accommodate.
I'm worried they would say "but they aren't male" if asked for a same sex carer for a girl.

No, she's questioning whether they'd occupy an exalted position where normal rules don't apply. Don't imagine for a moment this doesn't happen.

I would worry about the sex stereotypes that this nursery might be pushing on kids.

"Whatever makes you feel comfortable "

@Brefugee@FunnyTalks very good point. What is so harmful about misgendering?

@TheClogLady dear lord.... I could have some fun with it...😇

Oh right. Obviously not then - they could be shut down if that is their approach so I’d be amazed if it were. If there was a man changing kids of either sex unsupervised I’d report and change nurseries.