Pronouns at nursery

[PronounsBaby]

I'll start by saying I don't really have a problem with people stating their pronouns if they feel it necessary and is important to them (although I will do an internal eye roll and move on).

I personally don't like stating them as I don't think it should matter (if you are referring to me when I'm not there I think I'd prefer to be referred to by name). Ultimately I won't be putting them on my emails at work as I don't want to feel like I have to state " this is a woman talking! "

Anyway, my 8 mo is just about to start nursery. They have a board of staff members pictures and names along with pronouns. All sexed based except one male looking they/them. Fine.

They have given me a form to fill in about home life and have asked on there, what the family pronouns are and I'm not sure really what to put.

I guess 'they' as there are multiple members of the family but I know this isn't what they mean.

Maybe 'N/A' or 'none'? Maybe put 'none (sex based)'? Leave blank?

I don't want to start off on the wrong foot here but equally I don't really want to play along with the nonsense...

Has anyone navigated this?
I know it's not a big deal in the long run but I'm going to be leaving my PFB with them and don't want to worry about her/us being treated differently? Probably over thinking it...

Ignore. It's been added to the form so they can say they've ticked the box. If anyone cares enough to follow it up with you, a short reply along the lines of 'We don't do pronouns' should suffice.

No-one "has" pronouns, so writing "none" is perfectly reasonable.

YY. Your pronoun is I, and we don't really feel the need to spell that out normally.

We don't do pronouns' should suffice
Theoretically, maybe. But this is a nursery! I'd be giving them a hard swerve, wouldn't even consider using them.

An elderly neighbour used to refer to inanimate objects as he or she rather than it. I'd wilfully misunderstand and make a really long list:
Pronouns-
Me: female. DH: male. Dogs: both female. Cat: male, (occasionally specialist 'the creature'). Child: Female (occasionally 'it' as a hangover from pregnancy when we didn't know). The hoover: female. My car: male. DH's car: female.

I'd be very worried about gender stereotyping being perpetuated at this nursery.

It's a nursery child. My 3 year old rarely uses sensible pronouns, uses my instead of me/I and is entirely unpredictable in whether he'll make sense or not. "My do it myself" and "Mine all mine".

I don't know what I'd fill in on a form for pronouns, I'm usually mum to nursery anyway and dad is dad..

I think this is a serious safeguarding issue. Find out if they are stonewall champions. If they are, tell them you're no longer interested in putting your kid in the nursery. Chances are, they will be encouraging kids to choose their pronouns based on whether they play with cars or dolls.

This pronoun thing annoys me but I am not ashamed to be female and I wouldn’t want to hide away from it.

I never understand why on job applications you need to give your title or relationship status either.

I would be find with putting my pronouns as long as they don’t ask for my nursery aged child’s.

Leave it blank, if they ask just say no thank you. You say it's no big deal in the long run but it is. There was an article called pronouns are rohipnol (or something) that explains it
Maybe the nursery are doing this to accommodate a staff member?

I'd leave it blank, and if pressed, say something like 'standard English grammar'.

Ugh keep an eye on the teaching material here. A belief in gender ideology can entail the belief that pre school age children already know their "gender identity". This will be expressed through the child choosing toys and clothes that are stereotypically associated with the opposite sex. Childhood is already so gendered, when you get to primary school it will be miniature princesses and footballers galore. I wish the people who push stereotypes (be they more traditional people or people who believe in gender ideology) would leave nursery children free to be themselves.

I'd appreciate that they are trying to use the right language for every child's family. 99% of the time the pronouns are going to match up with how someone looks but it's really nice they are trying to be inclusive. Just answer it in the spirit it's asked.

Write “Jedi”

I would leave it blank, I would be surprised if they pushed back on it. If they did I would probably say something like "oh, we just use the normal ones" in a breezy tone. Having said that if the nursery is this into gender I would be keeping a really close eye on what they are saying to your child.

If you don't want to get into it with them, leave it blank. I would guess that is what most people do anyway.

Jedi would work for me.

I do take your point, but the OP says this nursery is their only option.

Even if you manage to swerve the question of how your own DC is referred to, I'd still be worried about pronoun use in general given that you say there's a "they/them" on the staff.

Will the children be corrected if they refer to this person as "he"? Will they be taught that people can be something other than a man or a woman (i.e. lied to)? It's a real worry how children can be influenced at such a formative age. I think PP who say it's just inclusive kindness and there's nothing to worry about are being quite naive.

Definitely leave it blank. It’s very unlikely they’ll ask you any more about it.

Hmm it's interesting.
I mean she doesn't speak and so won't be effected herself but the older pre school children might well be corrected if they call the they/them him. I'll ask.

I do wonder how they react to stereotypes and non conforming.

I didn't get the impression they were particularly girls = princesses and boy = tractors .... They have a montessori

There's a Beatles' song on Let It Be (by George Harrison) entitled "I Me Mine". I suppose for the family you could use "We Us Ours".

Or you could ask them what they do with children (like one of my grandkids) who, an early talker, for a good while found it difficult to distinguish "I" from "You", "Mine" from "Yours", and so on. (The word meanings, I emphasise, not the concepts of selfhood/alterity or possession.)

"You want a apple" in this child's ideolect meant she wanted an apple; how should her adult respond?

-- "No, you want an apple" elicited, "'Kay! ["yes", in her ideolect, from "OK"], you want a apple." (She wanted an apple.)

"No, I want an apple," also got "Kay! you want a apple!" (The child wanted an apple. And she understood the idea of indexicals, in general terms; she just had them backwards.)

How do you teach a child what "I" means? (What does "I" mean, anyway?) That's what I'd ask this nursery. They're professionals; they should know.

Pronouns, huh?

View on most things.

I really like the nursery in every other point. Just this stuck out to me

😂This doesn't make any sense but I love it all the same!

I would be very unhappy if a small child that was learning to speak was encouraged to use "they" to refer to someone who was male. It's unnecessary and putting adult wants above a small child's needs.