I'm not a woman - which facilities should I use

[Whatiswrongwithmyknee]

Genuinely interested to hear what supporters of gender ideology would recommend here. I am biologically female but do not identify as a woman. I am officially trans though in reality I don't think I am the sort of person Stonewall meant to refer to in their definition of trans (I am gender critical - which for those who have been misled by some made-up definitions, to me means that sometimes sex, rather than gender, matters. It is not an anti-trans stance).

The question is - which facilities should I use? I should not be in the ladies if that is defined by identity but using the men's does not feel right either. How do gender ideologists suggest I negotiate this?

Just use the ladies as that’s your biological sex. I’m sorry it’s uncomfortable. Most people don’t spend time in the ladies thinking about their gender (I don’t anyway!) it’s just a toilet.

If it makes you very uncomfortable then disabled or the gender neutral ones. Unfortunately or not, life is mostly segregated into your sex atm.

I also think that 99% of people won't look at you or even begun to speculate about your identity. They won't care.

I really don’t think gender needs to come into the equation here, or looks. If you’re biologically female then use the female loos. However you identify and however masculine you look.

The thing is, no one else cares what you do or don't identify as.

You have female anatomy, you aren't capable of raping a woman.

If you need a wee in public, go to the ladies. No one will force you into a dress and high heels in the way out!

Fwiw, I have short hair and don't wear make up. I even wear 'mens' jeans (they have great pockets). I don't deliberate about my gender, no one really cares. I'm female, go to the ladies, have a wee, wash your hands and go about your day 😊

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee In the gentlest possible way, I would suggest you stop worrying about trying to fit a Stonewall category.

You’re a woman so use the toilets for women. If you feel uncomfortable about this then I suggest you look around you at the millions of terrifying problems in the world and try to put a few moments of discomfort aside. Life isn’t always comfortable, is it? HTH.

You use the female toilets because you’re female.

Yes gender isn’t an issue in the toilets, it’s just about sex which you acknowledge and accept us female. Nobody will ask you about your gender there.

You are female
So use the female facilities

I don't know what else you would suggest

@FrancescaContini absolutely.

The fact people have time to worry about this inconsequential stuff baffles me

You are a woman because you are am adult human female.

You are a woman. You know you are a woman. So use the ladies toilet. It doesn’t matter how you “identify”, that’s all made up nonsense anyway.

I read OP (@Whatiswrongwithmyknee ) as putting this out as a thought experiment/question for people who subscribe to gender ideology.
I think maybe people have misunderstood/ jumped in a bit quick.

I've just re-read the OP and it does read that way to me, but I could be wrong (the "I'm trans" part maybe causing the confusion?)I think OP is asking, if womens loos are for anyone who identifies as a woman, what about women who don't 'identify' as women?
I see how there could be some utility in this when discussing with people who subscribe to this belief- questioning as a form of challenging and all that.

I mean this kindly, use the womens loo for your own safety and if you feel uncomfortable enough with this for it to seriously impact your life, find a sympathetic therapist, because the binary world won’t change.

Conversions of public loos to individual cubicles cost a fortune and aren’t always even possible. And we are heading for deep recession where paying for such things won’t be a priority.

How comfortable do you think anyone is in a public toilet? I don't particularly like other people hearing me pee. I definitely don't like them hearing me poo, to the point that I struggle to go anywhere but home, which can actually cause a lot of physical discomfort. I definitely hate people hearing me fart, which can happen even with just peeing. I hate the thought of creating an unpleasant smell. I hate the state that some other people leave a toilet in. I hate the thought of someone thinking someone else's smell is mine. And on and on and on.

Lots of people are uncomfortable in public toilets. You aren't special in that. Stop looking inward so much is my advice. So you feel uncomfortable in the public toilet. So do lots of people. It's defecation not eating a delicious cake with friends. So relieve yourself and get on with your day and don't do anything that makes women and children unsafe in what is a few minutes of physical vulnerability.

Thats how i read it maud i said it upthread

so youre not alone in thinking it 😀

How would anyone know what your gender is though? They couldn't possibly know from looking at you, given that you could be non binary, transman but not presenting with stereotyped male characteristics, agender etc. They wouldn't even give it a passing thought. What sex people are is a different question.

Navel gazing? Much?

you’re a woman, so use the womens. No one cares about what gender you think you are or what gender you think you aren’t.

Ah ok. That's good Rufus. Im not fully brain awake yet, so it's confusing. Hopefully OP will come back o clarify

I don't mean to be obtuse but surely it's more uncomfortable not going to the loo than just using the loo designated to your sex?

You can't be denying you are female, you've given birth!

"Why are you giving 'identity' so much power in your life that it makes you uncomfortable to do normal bodily functions?

Gender ideologists would say "use the loo you feel most comfortable using."

I'm not a gender ideologist so I would say, use the ladies since you are a woman.

If there is a third, unisex space, you could use that. I think more unisex spaces is a good idea as long as single sex spaces are not sacrificed for them.

If you think toilets are divided by identity you aren't gender critical!
use the female, obviously

It’ll be an interesting read….just not the read it’s supposed to be 😀

You have borne to children. You are female.

If this a a joke then fine, but if not, get a grip.

Toilets designated by sex, not gender, relate to your biology. If you have female genitals, you need to sit to wee. Therefore you need to use the toilets provided for your sex, the one with all the cubicles. You don’t have the right genitals for a urinal, so the toilets for people with penises aren’t for you. Simple.

The gender ideologues don't actually care. They don't care about you, they don't care about other non-conforming people, they don't care about genuine trans people.

The ideology is the only thing that is important. As such it is deliberately confusing, contradictory and often holds many opposing ideas at the same time. It doesn't have any real answers to your question, and crucially it doesnt want to give them.