I'm not a woman - which facilities should I use

[Whatiswrongwithmyknee]

Genuinely interested to hear what supporters of gender ideology would recommend here. I am biologically female but do not identify as a woman. I am officially trans though in reality I don't think I am the sort of person Stonewall meant to refer to in their definition of trans (I am gender critical - which for those who have been misled by some made-up definitions, to me means that sometimes sex, rather than gender, matters. It is not an anti-trans stance).

The question is - which facilities should I use? I should not be in the ladies if that is defined by identity but using the men's does not feel right either. How do gender ideologists suggest I negotiate this?

"To me it feels like a refusal to let my sexed body define me. What does it feel like to identify as a woman?"

Say what?

It must be exhausting to spend so much mental energy thinking about which toilet to use.

You were born a woman
You've given birth
You ARE a woman!

when did life get so bloody complicated!!!!

Why are you focusing on definitions? I don't identify as a woman. I AM a woman - an adult human female. If you hate gender norms, then great - smash them. But you're still your biological sex. Pretending you're not doesn't change that fact.

A woman is simultaneously an adult human female it doesn't dictate any form of identity. If your "identity" makes life sp difficult because you can't even go out incase u need the toilet then its time to re think whether having such an identity is helpful, beneficial or important. I would say someone so paranoid they might be seen as a woman is up there with sowklne so paranoid they think there's an alien around every corner. We shouldn't enable or indulge such things.

Your identity is yours and yours alone. No one else has to be a part of it. So start from there. Start from the point that iiu have a sex akd that sex needs a the facilities in the space designated for that sex. And the rest is nothing important to anyone but you so not something that's gonna come up on anyone else's behalf.

That sounds less like gender identity and more like feminism?

I don’t ‘identify as a woman’ but I accept that woman means ‘adult human female’ so anyone over the age of majority in their country, who is female, is a woman, so I’m a woman.

But that says nothing whatsoever about how I should look, think or behave, about my likes or dislikes, my hopes and dreams.

Woman is a description of sex +age, not a prescription of how to behave.

A secondary school near us is putting in thirty individual cubicles - all fully enclosed, lockable, with sinks and sanitary disposal units inside - to be used by all students. This seems a sensible plan to me.

Ugh.. They're all going to get disgusting. They should label half of them for girls, then 10 for boys and 5 for anyone (and I bet those 5 get exclusively used by boys too)

You're female. So use the womens

Of course your taking the piss.

You like most of us here are saying we don't "feel" like a woman we just are by virtue of our biology, your wanting answers from those who don't often come on this board.

If women start getting snippy about biological women using womens toilets then we can’t push back against the men saying they use womens toilets because they aren’t comfortable using mens toilets.

It needs to be the norm that you use the toilet that equates to your sex, and that you don’t get hassled for doing so.

Use the ladies surely? You're biologically female and whether you feel uncomfortable in male or female spaces is a problem you need to deal with. The world is not going to change just because you personally don't identify with any gender. You have a vagina, no penis, you use the ladies.

Do you think socially anxious people exist to crowds to stop forming because they're uncomfortable? I'm sure you're resilient enough to use a ladies toilet to have a wee without imploding.

Women gender? What new woke language mangling convolution is this?

woman defines your sex, ratified by every single cell in your body.

gender is what you choose ratified by whatever/whoever is current on Twitter.

But keep your linguistic paws off the words woman / women please, they are not up for grabs.

If you were born female, use the women's toilets, play in women's sport as long as not doping. I don't care. If you have taken testosterone and have a superficially male appearance- beard, thinning hair, deep voice- you might get questioned because of all the LARPing blokes that have made women's separate spaces effectively unisex.
If you have a superficially male appearance women may well do what they have to do around men on such spaces which is drop their eyes and get out as quickly as possible.
If scaring women validates you, you will be on to a winner. Congratulations.
If you don't have a beard and thinning hair, no woman will give a shit. Sorry/not sorry if that spoils it for you

Don't like the smell in the gents op?

Man up eh?

What a weird and goady thread. Women don't care about your precious genderfeelz, we care about whether you could rape us. Use the women's loos (but if you see me in there, don't talk to me - you sound tiresome).

OP:

If you are female but do not identify as a woman, then you ARE a gender ideologist/ideologue.

There is no such thing as toilets which match your gender identity.

There are toilets with urinals for people of the biological sex who are born with penises and can pee standing up, and there are toilets without urinals but with sanitary bins, for people who are born with uteruses, need to sit down to pee, and may also menstruate.

Hope this helps with your dilemma.

It feels like I have a vulva between my legs therefore I am a woman! 🙄

Why are you asking on the MN feminist board? This isn't where gender ideologists hang out. No feminist defines facility use by 'identity'. You'd be better asking on Twitter. Tag in Mermaids and all the gender ideologists will come flocking. Or tag in OJ.

In all seriousness, I suggest getting over yourself.

It isn’t (or shouldn’t be) the role of gender ideologists to determine where you go to the loo. Toilets are based on sex and your sex is female. Toilets have nothing to do with gender. Don’t let a minority group make you uncomfortable.

What has the world come to when we spend so long debating such stuff.

I feel like the real problem in situations like this isn't the toilets, it's the discomfort. People are being told that their discomfort means that everything around them needs to change, whereas perhaps it might be better for the discomfort to be addressed (in some form of therapy, if that wasn't clear)..

To me it feels like a refusal to let my sexed body define me. What does it feel like to identify as a woman?

Women don't need to feel like a woman. You just are, or you aren't based on your hormones, anatomy and biological make up. So anything a woman feels, is her feeling like a woman.

Your sexed body does define you. You can be any kind of woman you want - there is no convention you need to follow. Your issue isn't with not identifying as a woman, it's with not being brave enough to fight stereotypical views of a woman. It's like saying I'm going to say I'm an amputee despite having all my limbs because I don't identify with able-ism.

Literally nobody is assuming anything about your identity when they see you going into the women's toilets. They do not care, or give it a moment's headspace.

Stonewall are full of shit.

I don't have a gender identity because I think the whole idea of having an identity which either matches or does not match your genitalia is total nonsense.

I do not "identify as a woman", I simply am one because I am an adult female human. As are you.

What's wrong with the men's loo, if the women's loo hurts your feelings?

You've had two children, you are biologically a woman. Regardless of your feelings, your biology has not changed. You are a woman. You either use the females or use disabled as they are gender neutral. I don't really care how it makes you feel tbh.

I've borne two children so am legitimately biologically female.

So what is the issue? Use a toilet in the ladies with a closed door. Or go and pee behind a bush. Or try and pee in a urinal. Up to you...