Another friendship bites the dust

[SapphosRock]

Apparently it has come to some friends' attention that I have radical views and they want nothing more to do with me. I'm now blocked.

This the second time this has happened with people I was close to.

Trying not to mind, but I do mind. We had lots of fun things planned and I'm mourning the loss of the friendships.

What have other people done in this situation?

The 1:1 debate is over there waiting for you.

You have been offered a 1 v 1 debate

Get on with it

Why is 1v1 debate such a chilling concept for you people?

its not…as evidenced by clogladys thread

go on give it a go, you won’t know til you try….

How bizarre to post ‘no debate’ when what you mean is ‘no private message debate’ because you don’t seem to be able to have good faith ‘debate’ out here in the open forum…

I remember another poster trying this on me. This is a talk forum, no one wants to have a debate via pm, I can't think of anything more tedious. If you can't debate with more than one person, you probably don't have a very good argument.

On a public thread literally anyone can jump in. And on a website that's visited by people who are vast majority GC you'd be a bit dim to think it's a fair way to have a debate.

Its called optimism

not dimness

there is a difference 😀

Not much of a difference to be fair 🤔

On a public thread literally anyone can jump in.

You're not obliged to respond to them, are you.

Laughing. This is just like watching Lavery duck and weave to not debate Julie Bindel…

So, someone who had proven they cannot post in good faith insists they will have a private ‘fair’ debate with no moderation and never to be seen…

Is still accusing posters on this board of not being in good faith enough to follow the suggestions laid down by Clog Lady.

This has been a very excellent live demonstration of projection, of empty self assuredness and classic activist tactics.

I think you’d have to be a bit dim to think a debate via pm is a good way to go

but here we are

Ahhhhh c’mon

ive got to play a game in a minute….

PMs open is creepy like 'yes meet up on discord but don't use our name'

Its trying to isolate someone and not be transparent about a conversation in this situation.

Its opening up someone to potentially be reported for saying something to try and get them banned or copy/pasted somewhere else to 'prove a point'

Either way, anyone thinking about it would be ill advised.

You told us you were 22 (made a big deal about knowing more about the internet and teenagers than us middle aged mummies do) yet elsewhere on MN you said you were 11 when Juno was released in, which would make you 25/26ish.

You’ve also posted saying you already a mother of twins on one thread and that you are currently pregnant with your first baby on another.

I didn’t call you a liar though, just said you are a bit muddled.

Sappho, to get back to your question: The way I deal with this kind of thing is by considering my motivations and the accuracy of my arguments.

If satisfied that I've been in good faith and honest and as accurate as possible, then I look to the Buddhist teaching: there is no companionship with a fool.

'Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let him resolutely pursue a solitary course; there is no fellowship with the fool.'

Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let him resolutely pursue a solitary course; there is no fellowship with the fool.'

wise words. Taking them on board as we type.

"I'll debate you, and win, but only if we can do it via smoke signals three years apart"

It’s all gone v quiet on Clog’s thread …

To be fair, if I knew I was comprehensively intellectually outgunned, I might fancy sliding into the dms instead.

It's unfortunate, from the POV of those who might accidentally or otherwise misunderstand the notion of a 'discussion forum', that women are familiar with this tactic. It's bullshit designed to obfuscate lack of argument.

Good arguments withstand scrutiny in public. A thousand people can inspect them from every angle, kick the tyres & demand the lid be lifted on the bonnet.

If your argument cannot withstand that rigorous scrutiny, you are doing it no favours by trying to prop it up in private.

Plus, you're probably a creepy git, so there's that. Non creeps have arguments that cope with sunlight.

JuneBug has gone very quiet since ClogLady last posted

oh what tangled webs we weave…

Sorry I was dealing with a real life situation. I am back now and have posted on the other thread. Bring in on @JunebuginDecember

This. I am in no way open to letting someone who is so skeevy as to demand dm s anywhere near my innocent and pure inbox. It would be madness. The fact that @JunebuginDecember is not willing to debate says more about their motives and the faith in their arguments than anything else.

Thanks Arabella.

In this case I hadn't made any arguments or tried to get into any debates, they just heard on the grapevine that I was involved in feminism and that was it, friendship over. I tried to message them but am blocked.

Reading that back I realise how ridiculous it sounds. These ex friends were born female but don't identify as women.

June, as you can see, I mentioned your inconsistencies up thread.

I have the screen shots but I haven’t posted them because I don’t want anyone to feel bullied, and I realise that muddled and inconsistent backstories can be due to poor mental health/personality disorders, rather than deliberate deception. I will post them on your request though.

Most is available to all via advance search anyway (except the thread where the poor mum got mithered by TRAs until she felt it was best to have it taken down. She saved all the links and advice though, confirmed via pm, so no biggie)

Damn. Us and our filthy feminism, eh?

flowers

I lost 3 "close friends" recently after they piled onto me on Facebook trying to force me to accept this narrative:

"A male with no sexual function/impotent is really a woman". This was because one of the three was impotent and decided to trans to feel better about his lack of sex drive.

I said absolutely not and how offensive. The 3 of them blocked me.

I laughed and was thankful they removed themselves. I do not want trash misogynists for friends.

Seems unreal but it actually happened a few months ago.

I do not mourn misogynists leaving my friend circle.