Another friendship bites the dust

[SapphosRock]

Apparently it has come to some friends' attention that I have radical views and they want nothing more to do with me. I'm now blocked.

This the second time this has happened with people I was close to.

Trying not to mind, but I do mind. We had lots of fun things planned and I'm mourning the loss of the friendships.

What have other people done in this situation?

marcykennedy.com/2012/12/7-strategies-villains-use-to-trick-their-victims/

See especially Negative Labelling. I don't think this person is smart enough to manipulate anyone here really, but the attempts are transparent.

What's wrong with PMs? It's the only guarantee of no interruptions, no thread being taken down by mnhq etc Why are y'all so frightened of 1v1s? It's not a difficult question...

Now you're worried.about this thread being derailed? Funny it wouldn't be if there was another option...like PMs...

You mean the same mother that I did have a lovely PM convo with? Who admitted that she was swept up in GC panic and apologised to me? 😂

@JunebuginDecember you've been told of site etiquette boundaries, why are you so keen to push them. Say what you need to say openly if you're secure in your own convictions. You won't get far in goading a bunch of middle aged mums I'm afraid, we're too used to it from our teenagers

And you've been asked an opening question, what is a man and what is a woman. Please engage respectfully and answer

@JunebuginDecember Where do you get this 'we' pal ? This isn't a nursery school. No need to patronise people.

I think it's quite clear that I stick by my convictions given that I use a site in which about 95% of users are against me. I come on to these threads precisely because unlike pps I don't hide away in an echo chamber scared to face anyone with shock horror a different opinion!

People who only want to engage in debate if they can have 2, 3, 5, 10+ buddies to back them up? These are the ones who don't seem that confident in what they have to say.

Again. My PMs are open. Saying "That's not how we do things here" isn't the strongest argument against having an actual 1v1 instead of dogpiling and bullying a single person as a group.

And twist….

How bizarre to post ‘no debate’ when what you mean is ‘no private message debate’ because you don’t seem to be able to have good faith ‘debate’ out here in the open forum…

Seems unlikely, since she and I had a PM chat, mostly about all the inaccuracies in your mumsnet back story.

I’m going to start you a fresh thread, so that you stop clogging up Saph’s. Will tag you when I’m done.

@Abhannmor "pal" 😂

Considering you have also claimed people were bullying you when if was not bullying at all, and despite your own very poor faith posting… you have no credibility at all. Anyone PMing could well be risking much including further accusations and banning from this board.

So, please say what you think your well evidenced convictions are out here in the open.

Or is this going to be like Lavery’s claim of ‘no one will debate me’? We all know what happened there …

So to be clear, when GCs say "We are happy for debate" this can roughly be translated to "We are cool with debate but only on a website known to be an echo chamber for other GCs and only on public threads where we can in any numbers we please dogpile one person. Private 1v1, fair debate? Lol no thanks"?

Just to be clear? This is what you're saying?

No one is going to pm you….

you seem a bit thirsty

There is that use of dehumanised ‘GCs’ again.

Who cannot debate out in the open? A person who needs to hide their views for some reason?

And again, someone who claims to have been ‘bullied’ by two posters on this thread?

Truly, this is getting more and more bizarre. But again, great demonstration of activist tactics.

No

We are happy for a debate in public

I have had the debate face to face also

I am not happy for PM debate - I don't trust people who want to do things in private and I suspect most women feel the same way

If you have something to say - say it out loud here

You call it an echo chamber but if you read more carefully there is a lot of disagreement

It just seems like an echo chamber because most people actually don't believe you can change sex and most people think children should be protected from harm

That's not an echo chamber just a reflection of the world

Private 1v1, fair debate?

Sounds kind of farcical really. A fair debate? Guaranteed! No moderation allowed!!!

Brilliant stuff.

Excuses, excuses, excuses....

1v1 is unfair but 10+v1 is fine? What mental gymnastics are you people doing to come up with this?

I’ve made a new thread and set some ground rules, as close to a traditional university style debate as possible on an Internet forum.

Hope you are OK Saph and not feeling frazzled by the derail.

I think it's that people are told they're very bad, transphobic and bigoted if they don't believe "transwomen are women" etc but they are never given a logical explanation of that.

We have just had a trans man (X) join us at work, they seem very nice and I have no intention of getting in their face or hassling them in any way whatsoever. We have had nothing but pleasant interactions.

But as far as I can tell they've made no medical changes and their mannerisms , way of speaking etc are less culturally "masculine" than my own. So if I'm told "you're bigoted for not believing they are a man" I can only say "What is this "man" - as a material thing, as a concept - that I'm supposed to be seeing? When you deprive that word of any real meaning how can I see someone as "it?"

If I was ever to say this to my colleagues I doubt any of them could tell me what makes X a man. So if they want to continue believing in themselves as good people they can only think I'm mean, bigoted, transphobic etc.

Here’s the link to the debate thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4651772-junebugindecember-debates-shakenotslurred-live-on-mumsnet-now

Well done cloglady

got to pkay one night werewolf but I’ll pop that on my watch list

What a surprise! Fallen at the first hurdle.

None of us will post before the debate is finished (if they know about it, that is… someone may post without understanding what the thread is for.)

Bluster? I reckon so.

Now maybe Sapphos thread will be left for discussing friendship issues though.

Had a look at the new thread. Junebug doesn't seem to have read the post properly or grasped the concept. But I suppose that's a good way to get out of putting your money where your mouth is.

@TheClogLady your desperation to incite a pile on is inspiring but given that I made it quite clear I wasn't down for a 10v1 debate I'm a little confused about why you went and made some unhinged thread 😂

I'd still like some proof of my lie, also.

Its just the two of you….

So you believe everything you read? 😂Based on this thread alone its a little hard to believe the 'pinky promise no pile ons' bullshit.

Why is 1v1 debate such a chilling concept for you people?