Mermaids being investigated by the Charity Commission - thread 2

[ResisterRex]

The first thread, towards the end of which there was a discussion about having a second thread but it wasn't added:

Mermaids being investigated by the charity commission
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4644323-mermaids-being-investigated-by-the-charity-commissionn_

There's been a new development so maybe a second thread would be useful:

Lottery pauses trans charity cash during investigation

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/c959a286-44e4-11ed-8885-043c27446b97?shareToken=6d482edb1a386656502f33453da5c230

Another problem with Tatchells argument is that there is no 'paedophile time machine' that one can use to look into the future to check that the 9 year old you are raping will be 'OK' with it in the future. So when this adult man was having sex with a 9 year old, he knew that it was highly likely that this would damage the 9 year old child mentally and possibly physically as well, and that the 9 year old child would have lifelong issues as a result of the 'relationship'.

But he went ahead and did it anyway. That is abuse however you spin it.

I felt sick writing all that out by the way, Peter Tatchell is absolutely vile. 9 years old....

it’s totally understandable 😢

A cross sex identity as a post traumatic ‘protection’ is also understandable 😥

Potentially combining these two phenomena by not properly safeguarding kids from adult sexual behaviours is unforgivable.

Jarman died in 94, if it's the same man.

Potentially combining these two phenomena by not properly safeguarding kids from adult sexual behaviours is unforgivable.

Completely.

I'm aware of parents who, when their young male comes out as trans, appear to create Instagram accounts devoted to them in all their clothes. I was told of a young male child being given a training bra and having the images plastered all over Instagram by their mother by a local feminist.

That Aimee Challenor has worked for 2 major UK political parties and been on the schools advisory committee for Stonewall makes me feel like I'm going crazy. how does this happen?

Yes. And I think that's the danger/potential societal grooming aspect of academic theory that focusses on the sexuality of children, and advocates for their sexual autonomy.

Quite. How does this happen?

The general public have been taught to view GI as a topic to #bekind about.

T was teamed with LGB

This has enabled cast iron protection akin to savile, priests etc.

The thing is, we know that predatory people will use anything they possibly can for nefarious purposes. They will target any chink in the armour.

So why is it such a reach to suggest that certain people may be trying to use an ideology which has clear gaping chasms in its safeguarding, from its charities for vulnerable kids up to its suggested policies about safe spaces for women and girls, in order to push their agenda?

If anything, it's the most obvious outcome possible!

Yes, any questioning or concern being dismissed as 'exactly the same as the homophobia of the past' has been an incredibly powerful weapon in all of this.

I've been thinking about Susie Green and how she appears to be at the epicentre of mermaids and their dodgy associations. And I, certainly, have always thought she needed the ideology of transgenderism to calm her conscience and justify what happened to her child.

But the number of associations she is having with porn, kink, fetish, bdsm calendars, the weirdos, the baby masks, etc, appears significant. It's never ending.

And I've concluded that the people who will express a total, unwavering belief in gender ideology will include an awful lot of bad actors. People with a vested interest in boundary violation, among other things. Weirdos, predators, misogynists, paedophiles, or people soaked in queer theory, these are the people she gets the most affirmation from.

She needs to believe that what she has done is correct. And these are the people who will tell her exactly that.

I'm wondering if she has been groomed, herself.

If we can understand how it's in some ways an easier story for a survivor of abuse to believe they had consented, perhaps this can also apply to those who have to deal with abusers and survivors?

Police, social workers, teachers, judges, psychologists. All human. Many possibly survivors of abuse and grooming themselves. All forced to come face to face with horrifying situations.

One can start to see how a cultural story can groom society. Far preferable to think of the abuse as harmless. To see children as complicit. We recoil from suffering. We recoil from victims sometimes, too.

Attractive to think that the problem is all in the child and the child must transform to heal, rather than acknowledge the suffering that's been inflicted on them by culpable adults.

ClogLady and ArabellaScot The film The Tale is about exactly this. It's based on the actor/director's own experience of being groomed by a paedophile as a child. It's very moving although a very difficult watch.

Review with discussion of the themes here:
www.google.com/amp/s/www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/is-the-tale-hbos-most-controversial-movie-ever-630017/amp/

Amidst all the inappropriately sexualised stuff highlighted on this thread - the "sex positive" messages that shouldn't come anywhere near children - I keep thinking about the "vanilla" and "neo-prude" merchandise produced by We Can't Consent To This. (Campaign against the rough sex defence.) Like this:

wecantconsenttothis.teemill.com/product/neo-prude-slogan-unisex-tee-white-black-or-red-wine/

wecantconsenttothis.teemill.com/product/vanilla-unisex-fit-slogan-tee-white/

I think some reframing is in order!

Re grooming, I see in myself a desire to downplay certain things we are all exposed to from a fear that society's reaction contributes to the trauma.

In the past kids were encouraged to ignore flashers and just dismiss them mentally with a 'sad little man' attitude. In some ways that's less traumatic for the child than a parent who reacts with shock, horror and outrage.

My adult head knows flashers escalate and need to be stopped etc etc.

How do we react appropriately to abuse? We can retraumatise kids with our reaction.

Sorry I'm fumbling.

what is ABDL ?
I have just read those links and I’m in shock. This affects me personally. Something I have ignored for years is staring me in the face.

Adult baby diaper lover.

Links to bdsm too.

Thank you

Don’t forget the related DD/lg (Dominant Daddy, little girl).

In perhaps related news, after discussion with my exDH re: social media algorithms and poor mental health, adult predators using ingame chat functions and teenagers making and sharing sexualised selfies, we’ve ordered one of these from the states to be our daughter’s first phone (starts high school next year)

www.thelightphone.com

It’s much cooler (and more expensive!) than a Nokia brick and a parent can control all aspects of it via a desktop website log in.

the international version doesn’t work on all UK networks but we are big city suburbs so all networks have good coverage anyway.

will report back when it arrives and we’ve had a proper look at how it functions in normie land (as opposed to silicone valley billionaire’s temporary smart-phone-detox land).

Thanks Dragon. Will check it out.

Yes, I will look it up too. Love Laura Derby anyway and the film sounds thoughtful and prescient

Dern! Fuck you autocucumber!

I've wondered a bit about this too, because my impression was always that her family is not actually very LGB friendly. And so it seems a bit odd that they are so willing to associate with that movement, or the fetish movement.

There are a few possible explanations for that but one is those people are making a point of presenting themselves to her in a way she feels comfortable with.

I have come to think that where a lot of people have gone wrong, on the being idiots side of things, is that they have really lost any rational underpinning for the idea that there is such a thing as unhealthy sexual expression. Or perversion, as people said in the old days.

The narrative they accept is that everything is ok, so long as it is consensual and done "safely." There is nothing potentially negative about your sex life revolving around being a furry, for example. Not for the person involved, psychologically, the only reason it might become negative if it's repressed. All sexual impulse is natural, and what is natural is healthy.

People who accept that - and it's pretty much what they get taught in school - have no real basis to understand sexual impulses or development that could be personally or socially destructive.

I think that we have to get comfortable with the fact that more than one thing can be true. It might be something that is quite recoverable for the victim, doesn't have to have any ongoing trauma associated with it, and that is a good outcome. But it also needs to be dealt with by the law as a crime with wider risk implications.

Sometimes people want to really emphasize trauma because they feel like that is the only way to show something is serious. But there are a lot of reasons something may need to be taken seriously.