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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

80 year old woman banned from pool for standing up for little girls

467 replies

Misstache · 05/08/2022 04:42

This poor woman dedicated her life to defending women and girls. She heard a male voice while in the shower at her local pool, looked out and saw a TW changing near 4 or 5 little girls while staring at them. She stepped in, asked if the TW had a penis, and got banned and the pool staff threatened to call police on her. They lied and said she said all kinds of profane things. This is so disgusting. I feel so bad for her.

reduxx.info/senior-woman-banned-from-local-pool-after-expressing-concern-over-male-in-womens-washroom/

OP posts:
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5
aweegc · 05/08/2022 05:10

Wow. At some points in that article I felt I was reading The Handmaids Tale or 1984 - totally surreal.

When Jaman asked Bart why no signs had been posted informing women that males could potentially be in the locker rooms, she says she was told: “‘We post pride signs, and we assume that lets women know what to expect.'”

WTAF. I mean I do know what to expect with the flags now (like on those face masks the counter demonstrators had on) but to use them instead of an actual written notice is quite unbelievable.

StClare101 · 05/08/2022 05:53

Incredibly disturbing. A big thank you to the brave woman who spoke up.

Flowersintheattic57 · 05/08/2022 06:08

Why is it always ok for the women and girls to feel discriminated, anxious, unfairly pushed aside for the trans women? Why do the trans women feelings always trump the women and girls?

iliketartan · 05/08/2022 06:12

Male privilege

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 06:38

Asking a stranger about their genitalia will get you banned from most respectable establishments.

If she was worried the woman was watching the children get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff.

Blister · 05/08/2022 06:44

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 06:38

Asking a stranger about their genitalia will get you banned from most respectable establishments.

If she was worried the woman was watching the children get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff.

So the problem is the woman didn't use the right reasoning to look out for young girls?

So the young girls need protecting but we'll only provide that protection if you present the problem the right way?

catandcoffee · 05/08/2022 06:47

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 06:38

Asking a stranger about their genitalia will get you banned from most respectable establishments.

If she was worried the woman was watching the children get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff.

What Women ?
Have you not read the article ?

Somanysocks · 05/08/2022 06:54

Men in women's spaces is never going to end well.

Helleofabore · 05/08/2022 07:09

So the flag and Pride posters were the ‘sign’ that males were allowed access to that area that should be safe for females?

Way to build a automatic reaction of the exact opposite that the rainbow flag was meant to convey!

Do these people stop to think? At all?

I am sure that in two decades there will be case studies in marketing texts about this era.

FunnyTalks · 05/08/2022 07:13

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 06:38

Asking a stranger about their genitalia will get you banned from most respectable establishments.

If she was worried the woman was watching the children get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff.

Ah yes. A variation on "she asked for it".

Funnily enough, feminists have known for years that being coy about genitalia often plays into the hands of the abuser. It is why we, teach our daughters "vulva" instead of "twinkle" or other such euphemisms.

You are being deliberately obtuse. You know full well if asked "are you a woman?" Clementine would have replied "yes".

Would it have been OK with you if the old lady had used a male version of the dehumanising language women are often subjected to? Would "are you a penis-bearer" have sufficed?

achillestoes · 05/08/2022 07:17

Doesn’t sound very respectable to me.

AlisonDonut · 05/08/2022 07:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

achillestoes · 05/08/2022 07:24

Because it means we do know what to expect when we see the sign: discrimination.

Helleofabore · 05/08/2022 07:27

So a male staff member was watching a group of very young girls? Why?

Was this in a work capacity?
Was this male looking after the group?
And if so, did the parents realise that this male would be watching their girls change?

And there was no denial that this male was watching this group or was standing there long enough to have this conversation.

Red flags abound here. Forget about whatever the fuck the management wanted to infer with displaying any other kind of flags.

And they interrogated the woman while she was still undressed? And lied and said the police were coming? And the staff are claiming the moral high ground here?

WTAF? There is so much wrong going on there.

FrancescaContini · 05/08/2022 07:28

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 06:38

Asking a stranger about their genitalia will get you banned from most respectable establishments.

If she was worried the woman was watching the children get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff.

This really isn’t the point, is it?

FrancescaContini · 05/08/2022 07:30

Deeply disturbing. I really feel for the woman (the real one).

Helleofabore · 05/08/2022 07:34

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 06:38

Asking a stranger about their genitalia will get you banned from most respectable establishments.

If she was worried the woman was watching the children get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff.

So, she should have waited then? While the male continued to watch the girls?

This is a woman who has dealt with abused women and children for decades. She helped set up the first shelters in the area after using her home.

Do you think her interpretation of the harm being done here was wrong?

And that she should have allowed it to continue until she was dressed and left the girls to speak to management?

When you consider the situation, do you really think that is the appropriate action? Or should a woman in that position (shocked and reacting on instinct) no longer react to try to remove the potential harm they see in front of them?

Should we all now wait and calmly speak to management after the event?

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 07:34

The question isn't "do you have a penis" or "are you a woman". The question was "why are you staring at those girls?", followed by a report to staff regardless of the answer. Assuming the woman's assertion was true and she didn't just hear a deep voice and put two and two together and get twenty.

Helleofabore · 05/08/2022 07:37

And how many times has this male been in the female single space area and watched females of any age in various stages of undress???

Does the pool management not actually think this through?

Or is this all ok because this male is now a woman (of what? 4 months since April 22)?

Fuck!

achillestoes · 05/08/2022 07:37

‘The question isn't "do you have a penis" or "are you a woman".’

The question is perfectly reasonable. Women’s spaces are for women and girls. Of course if you make it taboo to say someone is a man, people are going to need to be more specific about asking about bodies. It shouldn’t be necessary - people know what sex they are.

FrancescaContini · 05/08/2022 07:39

The actual wording is irrelevant, @JenniferBarkley , and you know you’re being disingenuous here, don’t you?

If one of those little girls had been my own daughter, I would be thanking Julie from the bottom of my heart and standing alongside her outside this place to protest.

Washaday · 05/08/2022 07:44

Wow. This is exactly what our concerns have been.. That poor woman, well done to her for reporting it. The erosion of safe spaces for women is real.

334bu · 05/08/2022 07:47

Man in woman's changing room and Jennifer thinks it is OK if they are not obviously ogling little girls taking their swimsuits off. Right side of history ? As my granny would sat " Aye right!!!"

FOJN · 05/08/2022 07:54

JenniferBarkley · 05/08/2022 06:38

Asking a stranger about their genitalia will get you banned from most respectable establishments.

If she was worried the woman was watching the children get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff.

Classic TRA tactics.

Portray the concerned observer as the perverted party by framing their question as an unhealthy interested in a stranger's genitals when we all know the enquiry was about correctly sexing the individual engaged in inappropriate behaviour.

In your second sentence you incorrectly sex the perpetrator and erase the sex of the victims. Let's fix that...

"If she was worried the MAN was watching the little LITTLE GIRLS get changed, she should have challenged that, and told the staff."

She did report it and was branded a bigot for her trouble.

Thanks for the opportunity to demonstrate how activists use language to obfuscate the genuine concerns.

Helleofabore · 05/08/2022 07:58

I think it tells a completely different story that the pool management had NOT called the police at all, despite trying to hold the woman at the pool saying the police were coming!

So, between that action with the lie attached and the writer contacting the pool management at the time of writing the article, no report made? Even though there was a fucking protest outside the pool, and this woman raised it at a council meeting that was publicised because a person travelled long distance to counter the speech made?

Why? Why no police report made by the pool?

There are so many questions here.