I was beaten to third place in a running race by a trans woman

[Athleticpotential]

It's a very low key local running race, neither of us are usually contenders, but a combination of circumstances meant the field was such that we finished 3rd and 4th.

The prize is a bottle of cheap wine, it's not about that.

I know her to chat to at races and I like her. It's not common knowledge that she's trans, she enters races as a woman. She is very masculine to look at, but TBH, until recently I thought she was an unfortunate woman, I had no idea.

So in the scheme of things it doesn't matter, but it does....?

Should I "do" anything? What?

would you rather that instead of someone entering the fun run just stands and watches from the sidelines because everyone’s too transphobic for her to even take part

she didn't need to, there's usually a non-binary or mixed category these days so she should have entered that category, though for a very low key charity event they might not have bothered with it.

I won a race (first lady) back in March. I wouldn't have been happy if I'd been pushed back a place by a male bodied person.

Not wanting male-bodied people to compete in womens categories is not transphobic.

she didn't need to, there's usually a non-binary or mixed category these days

Is there? I race competitively and I don't recall there being anything other than male or female under gender.

I agree. That runner was a very good runner as a man, and she did say in an article for Womens Running magazine that she enters races that have a non-binary category, so she doesn't try to cheat. But the course record should be held by a woman (lots of fast ladies do that course, so it should be easy enough to find one who comes very close to that record anyway). parkrun should have a non-binary category.

would you rather that instead of someone entering the fun run just stands and watches from the sidelines because everyone’s too transphobic for her to even take part

I don't understand how it is transphobic to know that sports are categorised by sex for reasons of safety and fair competition and to ask that a trans person competes in their sex category?

Actual transphobia would be, for example, if the men refused to race against a transwoman.

I also think it is genuinely transphobic to support this ideology that asserts that trans people cannot follow laws and social norms and that everybody involved with a trans person must collude in this. It is the precise opposite of support and encouraging good mental health.

A non-binary category makes no sense. The existing categories male/female are for sex. Non-binary is not a sex. Transwomen are male so need to run in male category if they wish to take part.

would you rather that instead of someone entering the fun run just stands and watches from the sidelines because everyone’s too transphobic for her to even take part

Oh the drama....

No one is even suggesting that trans people shouldn't enter fun runs, you know you're inventing that for effect.

No, male people should not expect to disadvantage female people in the pursuit of their own agenda. Nor should they require female people to pretend this isn't what it really is and pretend that it isn't unfair because that's nice for the male person. This is just sexist.

Female people are not props in male lives. They are not everyone's mummy. They are not there to enable and help male people to have happy times. If male people can just respect that regardless of their chosen gender identity there will be no problem.

And if transphobia now means nothing more than 'won't suck up being disadvantaged with a smile if it makes a male person happy' then colour me transphobic. Because I won't. I'm not a masochist. Nor am I surrendered wife. I don't consent. I expect TW to treat me and other females with equality.