‘Trans women have been using women's spaces for years’

[DameHelena]

What does one say to this argument? I’m instinctively sceptical but I don’t know if I’m right to be.

@DameHelena

Forgive the dim question but what's a radar key?

They are for accessible toilets.

A radar key allows you to unlock disabled toilets in most places that have them. They are useful because they stop people without disability popping in for a leisurely shit. It also means the disabled person doesn't have to seek out a key, which obviously is counter productive as would require more movement and time, both considerations of disability.

Thanks all.

@StopLying It's no males above 7 in the women's toilet and no females above 7 in the men's toilet. As far as I know those are the rules.

I've know a lot of trans women in my time, even pretty young transwomen don't pass, they just like to believe they do. So yes, we noticed and can spot a transwomen a mile away.

@bellinisurge

"I also compliment other ladies." I don't refer to other women as "ladies" either.

Quite

I always find the use of Terf rather disturbing given that it's laden with violent threats - www.terfisaslur.com

Is that how to 'reach terfs'?

@TeenPlusCat

Velvet Actually I think anxiety that severely impinges on life can be considered a disability. So if your 11yo is too anxious to act as other 11yos then this would be good enough reason to use the disabled toilets.

Well I dont know I just want him to get over it, he is getting better he has male friends and is fine with male teachers.

I dont want to pander to it, he pisses up trees and walls more then using public bogs anyway.

@Dinosauria

they are not accessible they are locked

Get a radar key then. It is not right that you expect women and girls to create your solution.

(And I do have sympathy, I have a family member that has to use accessible toilets, the provisions are poor, but the answer is not to expect women and children to give up their space)

what age would you stop taking a man into the ladies?

he's not hit puberty yet, he's not a man, he's a boy.

@Terfydactyl

I suppose you , general you, who don't believe this are a bit like me when I read the many comments on FWR about the need to wash blood drenched hands and empty moon cups in the shared sinks Never seen that happen

Me neither , never seen it happen , yet I believe those who say it has, I've had terrible and bloody periods and my bathroom looked like an abbatoir after, I've been lucky to not have it happen in public bogs is all.

I dont disbelieve anyone who says they've had actual conversations with women in the bogs, I find it hard to believe ive never heard one of these conversations, a few I've assumed are friends or related women, mother daughter kind of thing. Possibly I'm wrong and they are not mates and not related and it was simply strangers talking.

I've been in a public bogs that look like some ones been murdered in them, not used them obviously I've turned round and walked out to find some place else.

and I've been in many many bogs with dried blood splatter up the walls, I think most people dont notice but I notice everything as I am hyper vigilant.

I KNOW how important this issue is, but does anyone else find being told to "get a grip" by someone (a man obviously) typing out AND posting -

'You'd walk past her in the loos and never even know she's trans. You might even compliment her on her beautiful hair or her outfit or ask where she got her shoes. She might say she loves your lipstick shade. And you'd go on with your day not knowing you'd spoken to a transwoman.'

• really funny, I'm chuckling on the train. It's ridiculous! Your fucking "lipstick shade"! Honestly!

Velvet, I think you need to have a frank discussion with your son and teachers about his fears and whether his behaviour has changed or they've noticed anything different.

It's probably nothing, and many children go through stages like that, but it can also be a safeguarding red flag. Or the result of something like peer on peer bullying.

Or can signal unmet SEN diagnosis and needs.

Either way, I think you need to address it as either (most likely) you can be reassured, or you can get to the bottom of how to help him.

@MyLittlePhonyPony

Velvet, I think you need to have a frank discussion with your son and teachers about his fears and whether his behaviour has changed or they've noticed anything different.

It's probably nothing, and many children go through stages like that, but it can also be a safeguarding red flag. Or the result of something like peer on peer bullying.

Or can signal unmet SEN diagnosis and needs.

Either way, I think you need to address it as either (most likely) you can be reassured, or you can get to the bottom of how to help him.

He has an EHCP he is meant to get a CAMHs assessment before november (believe that when it happens).

he is suspected high functioning autism and his father was a complete arsehole and a nutcase.

as I said he is getting better since the nutcase went.

@WhycantIgetanametostick, if a female person transitions to male, do your lazy, hateful, misogynistic and dimwitted sexist slurs still apply?

Also, do you know what radical feminism actually is?

Seeing as it's the "ladies" toilet ... It's appropriate to reference ladies. Do you just like to pick or do you have something constructive to add?

Good he is in the system Velvet.
I'm sure you are on it, but do note any behaviour changes if he has any visitation with his father.

'I guess that depends on your level of paranoia
Why would you tell anyone not to talk to strangers. Predators are generally well known to victims'

You're kidding, right? Why would you tell children not to talk to strangers? Really?

I've seen this argument before on twitter (along with this shocking approach to punctuation ): safeguarding = paranoia, you don't need to be afraid of anyone except the people you live with. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't fit the real world. What is it meant to achieve?

Whatever the stats on family/acquaintance violence, there are still people (most often males) who are predatory & on the lookout for anyone they can abduct/attack. Teaching children not to fall for their tricks is important.

I don't think that transwomen used to use women's spaces without women knowing. I have sometimes been fooled by photographs but am pretty sure I have never been fooled in person. It is not like most women feel confident confronting a man in a woman's space. We just leave and might come back later. So plenty of transwomen might think they passed because women were too polite to say otherwise. Didn't mean we didn't resent the transwomen for invading our spaces back then.

The reality is, that in years gone by, when trans = transexual and there were far fewer men claiming a trans identity, women clocked an outsider in our spaces and either kept quiet through kindness or fear.

(Quote above)

This sums it up for me.
Men sound different when they pee.
They have a body that is masculine
Large hands.. Adams apple, bigger jaw
Penis
The list goes on.