Trans issues - just sad and disappointed

[Chasingthebutterflies]

Don't know what I want to say really. Haven't properly formulated my thoughts. Just came on to talk about it. Feeling a bit sad.

I was texting a friend (a man) about the recent case of the woman raped by a man in a hospital and the hospital's denial that she couldn't have been raped because there was no man.

My friend's response - the media wants us to think that all trans men are rapists, demonising the trans community, it's disgusting, it'll be us gays next.

I'm sad because there was no concern for the woman, I'm sad because despite my trying to explain that my issue is simply people with penises wanting access to spaces that are for people with vaginas only. Nothing to do with whether they are trans or not (a biological woman who lives as a trans man still accesses a female single sex space). Because it's not a trans issue. It's a male issue. I'm sad because I don't want to have to lie to my DC and say that a man standing in front of me is a woman. I want to be able to say that he is a biological male who chooses to live as a woman. But I want to be able to say that without being labelled transphobic. Because I'm not. There's no judgment. But there is a desire for safeguarding.

Just sad. Feels bonkers. Feels like I'm living in a big game of pretend.

These things probably shouldn't really be discussed on text anyway, but it has just made me sad and concerned.

I honestly don’t know anyone who is transphobic despite most people I know wanting single sex sport, hospitals, jails, etc. In all honesty I think most people just don’t care who you sleep with, how you dress, what your skin colour or religion is etc.

@Chasingthebutterflies welcome to the dark side. No you can’t discuss this on any other board, if you do you will be bundled off to the gulag. Here on the filthy feminist board our language is policed, we attract many monitors who report any and all posts they can and the desperate derailers. Just so you know everything is transphobic, even trans people are transphobic if they don’t follow the hymn sheet. Welcome though and stick around.

Just a reminder that everything is transphobic

wingsoverscotland.com/everything-is-transphobic/

I really feel we should have a welcome wagon for these threads moved to FWR

A few tips…don’t post, yawn or bless or biscuit, never ever the biscuit. The biscuit may be ok on aibu where it means ‘no comment’ but in here apparently it means something much 😱 much 😱 worse…

Ive no idea what though 🤔

I’m missing one aren’t i…something important, I’ll remember in a bit

This is so frightening. A site for women and this is happening. It feels like just a giant game of Let's Pretend.

We’ve outside monitors on here as well chasing

People who just like to report posts on a forum they have no intention of joining

Weird hobby but I suppose it takes all sorts

Yes indeed Butterflies- we’re being asked to play a game where the rules are always changing and women cannot win

@MargaritaPie

In my opinion, the media seems to treat trans-people the same way it treated gay people a couple of decades ago. Almost as if the media is now targeting trans-people as the new community to shit on because they know they won't get away with homophobia anymore.

I like to think in a couple more decades, transphobia will be seen as unacceptable as homophobia is now.

In my opinion, how wonderful it would be if women were finally treated as the human beings they are instead of the sub human inferior ones they are being treated as and shat all over, if only it were just the media that was trampling all over women.

How nice it would be if misogyny was no longer acceptable.

How nice it would be if all males could treat women as worthy of safety, privacy and dignity.

The Mumsnet team should be ashamed of themselves really, physically and symbolically marginalising an issue that threatens all women so fundamentally, but at least I've been relegated to the part of the site I would have chosen myself. Hello people - I'm sorry you're here too but glad to meet you.

I dunno chase its quite nice in here…

Good company generally

But i agree i find the moving of these threads very tiresome, it doesn’t happen with many

Covid, brexit and anything mentioning sex/gender

Actually i feel that sometimes a warning should be given on aibu that if your post contains the words gender or trans it’ll be moved sure as eggs are eggs ( which only females produce…fact)

Welcome aboard Chasingthebutterflies.

@MargaritaPie

In my opinion, the media seems to treat trans-people the same way it treated gay people a couple of decades ago. Almost as if the media is now targeting trans-people as the new community to shit on because they know they won't get away with homophobia anymore.

I like to think in a couple more decades, transphobia will be seen as unacceptable as homophobia is now.

Safeguarding is transphobic? I don't think you've given this much thought. Seriously, just please think. This is about protecting women and girls from male violence.

In my opinion, the media seems to treat trans-people the same way it treated gay people a couple of decades ago. Almost as if the media is now targeting trans-people as the new community to shit on because they know they won't get away with homophobia anymore

Nothing is more homophobic than people with a penis claiming to be lesbians and calling actual lesbians bigots because they don't want to have sex with men.

Then there is Stonewall changing the very definition of lesbian from same sex attracted female, to 'women' attracted to people of the same 'gender'. Which becomes even more ridiculous when you realise they include men in their definition of woman and that gender is nothing but a performance of sex role stereotypes.

Gender identity ideology is both sexist and homophobic.

@FlibbertyGiblets

Not all men are rapists. However all rapists are men. Men dont like to hear this.

I completely agree.

"Nothing is more homophobic than people with a penis claiming to be lesbians and calling actual lesbians bigots because they don't want to have sex with men.

Then there is Stonewall changing the very definition of lesbian from same sex attracted female, to 'women' attracted to people of the same 'gender'. Which becomes even more ridiculous when you realise they include men in their definition of woman and that gender is nothing but a performance of sex role stereotypes.

Gender identity ideology is both sexist and homophobic."

Totally agree.

Gender identity ideology is both sexist and homophobic.

Add deeply, unremittingly misogynistic and sexist.

@Chasingthebutterflies

The Mumsnet team should be ashamed of themselves really, physically and symbolically marginalising an issue that threatens all women so fundamentally, but at least I've been relegated to the part of the site I would have chosen myself. Hello people - I'm sorry you're here too but glad to meet you.

Welcome to the naughty corner.

Did the menz catch you having opinions and speaking common sense?

They think they win by getting threads sent here, where there are apparently only 6 of us with numerous sock puppet accounts, because they cannot fathom how fucked off women, and men, are with their bullshit and that people everywhere in real life are finally waking up to what is actually happening and are no longer afraid to say no.

Accusations of transphobia are now meaningless.

I have a sock puppet on each finger we’re damn busy fir only 6 of us!

Trans women suffer enormously from being forced into male only spaces, whether in prison, hospital or wherever

I just don't think this is true.

The argument might have had some validity a couple of decades ago when a small number of transsexuals (not cross dressers) existed.

However this is not the current reality and the idea that any man who adopts she/her or they/them pronouns is deeply suffering is nonsense.

Take this person, for example, who is being platformed at HerStory, a poetry event about women's lives. Are you seriously trying to tell me he will suffer greatly in a men's ward or men's changing room? He looks like a 90s grunge rock singer. Zero men would look at him askance in men's spaces.

He's not an outlier either - a wander around Reddit or Twitter shows that he's actually quite typical of many, many current day men who adopt a woman identity.

Don't bother either with the "he's not really trans argument" because he's as much trans as anyone according to the rules of 'you are what you say you are'.

So much handwringing about the most marginalised when in reality they are anything but.

@Chasingthebutterflies

The Mumsnet team should be ashamed of themselves really, physically and symbolically marginalising an issue that threatens all women so fundamentally, but at least I've been relegated to the part of the site I would have chosen myself. Hello people - I'm sorry you're here too but glad to meet you.

As I said on the other thread shows which way whoever is moderating at the time the thread is moved is biased in favour of.

Just because you disagree with a view point does mean that you are a "phobic" I think the slinging of this term is bullying and designed to stifle debate. Both sides are obviously entitled to their opinion. Increasingly I am happy to voice my views publicly as I feel now the subversive take over has gone too far

I'm trying to keep away from anything I haven't experienced personally. I hate the whole lia Thomas thing, but I'm just trying to frame this all in what I know and I guess I am not and never have been disadvantaged or threatened by a trans person or someone masquerading as one.

I haven’t either cherry

But i stand with those women that have been threatened or disadvantaged by males however they identify

@noirchatsdeux

I'm 53, and almost all of my friends - male and female - have well and truly 'drunk the Kool Aid' and are all banging on about trans rights on social media. Even my own partner of 13 years truly believes the 'trans women are women' trope...and he has a biological sciences degree!

I have noted with sad amusement that they've all been very quiet about this case, though...

Honestly, I couldn't stay with a man who tried to gaslight me like that. I'd have zero respect for him, and wouldn't be able to handle his zero respect for me as a woman.

Pleased to meet you too, @Chasingthebutterflies. As for being called transphobic, you'll find the power of that word quickly wears off and you won't give a stuff about it. Everything is transphobic now.