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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Dad taking daughters into the ladies or disabled toilets

260 replies

MattDillonsEyebrows · 22/01/2022 14:32

If a dad was on his own with two daughters ages 4 & 5, would you have an issue with him going into the ladies toilets with them? He says he would call out, that he is a man, and coming in with his daughters and would stay in a cubicle, and also call out when leaving the cubicle. But obviously he would need to use the sinks to wash hands.

Or would you suggest he uses the disabled toilets instead?

The reason he doesn't want to use the mens, is a) them having to walk past urinals and strange men peeing, and b) due to the all too common state of men's toilets in general and even the sit down toilet usually has pee all over the seat and is generally disgusting and he doesn't want to subject his daughters to this.

I personally wouldn't have an issue with this because I agree with his reasons for not wanting to take his daughters in there, but obviously his presence would more than likely make some women feel uncomfortable which he would not want to do.

Disabled toilet is obviously another option, but having seen some of the disabled toilet threads on here, that would also cause an issue if a disabled person was waiting. Obviously a child, is unlikely to be able to wait.

Please nobody retort with 'well the fact that men's toilet's are filthy isn't the women's problem' or similar as, whilst I agree with this sentiment, unfortunately they do tend to be gross and changing that would take huge societal change which let's face it, is not likely to happen soon.

OP posts:
UsernameNotAvailableHmm · 06/06/2022 12:10

Agree 100% with the poster above and the various points made.
Also, say you're a 10 year old girl, perfectly capable of going to the ladies toilet on your own.

You enter through the main door, immediately seeing a man standing there on his own.
This is nothing new to you, since you have been brought up with seeing men in the ladies loo.
These men have been there because they have much younger daughters who cannot be allowed to use the toilet on their own and cannot be expected to use the gents with their dad.
Or maybe they are there because they want to use the toilet themselves.
Either way, nothing immediately alerts you to any danger with the man being there, as you've seen many men before in the ladies toilet.
Only this particular man doesn't have daughters who are using the toilet, he is there for other reasons,
Before you know it, he is behind the locked door of the cubicle toilet with you, or he assaults you as you come out of the cubicle.
When I was a young girl, the sight of any man in the ladies toilet would immediately warn me that this was wrong, I would have fled.
If the sight of men in ladies toilets becomes the norm, how lucky for those men who prey

ClocksGoingBackwards · 06/06/2022 12:17

Fathers in this situation should use the disabled toilets because more often than not, they are now labelled ‘accessible’ rather than disabled. That means they are for the use of anyone who can’t access toilet facilities in either of the other provided options.

Men should absolutely not be in the ladies, but a single use accessible space can be comfortably used be anyone who needs it.

LaBellina · 06/06/2022 12:22

Open women’s toilets open for 1 man, soon a lot of them will have ‘plausible excuses’ on why they should be able to go there too.
Why do some men think they’re so special that women’s safe spaces should be open to them or ic they’re female, their Nigel? At the expense of other women and girls sense of safety?
Surely it’s up to them to find a solution for their problem (there is always one) that doesn’t violate others rights.

SunThroughTheCloudsAt6am · 06/06/2022 13:09

If a bloke could yell into the ladies that he's coming in (so they can prepare/cover up/leave etc), then he can yell into the mens that he is coming in with his young daughter (so they can prepare/cover up/leave)

And as to cleanliness - exactly what a PP said - he should carry wipes with him, and if the toilet is unacceptable clean it, then complain.

RogersOrganismicProcess · 06/06/2022 18:28

Absolute no to going in the women’s toilets as there will be vulnerable women/girls using it.
No to using the disabled toilets if no one in the group had a disability.
Yes to planning ahead so he can care for his children’s needs without encroaching on the rights of others.

5zeds · 07/06/2022 00:16

Can he not just put some wipes in his pocket and wipe the seat? Confused

CarburyChocolateRules · 07/06/2022 00:24

People are forgetting here that some disabled toilets are also a baby change area

When i was a nanny, to a baby, a 3 year old girl and 2 five year old boys
We always went into the disabled toilet if there wasnt a toilet in the baby changing area

I think the baby change area is the best option, if not, i personally think the disabled toilet is best

5zeds · 07/06/2022 07:57

None of them are disabled or babies. Just as small boys go into the Ladies with their mothers because their mothers sex is pertinent, these girls should go with their father.

Phobiaphobic · 07/06/2022 09:40

Back in the day, I remember my dad asking another woman to take me into the loos. It was pretty common, I think.

5zeds · 07/06/2022 09:52

People still do that.

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