@ErynIsTrans
Hi! Thank you for the questions, I'm not a trans man, I'm neptunian, which is a non-binary gender (you can just say non-binary if you don't want to use neptunian /gen) I actually prefer to use the men's toilet because although I am AFAB (assigned female at birth) I have a masculine haircut and wear masculine clothes, so although I used to use the women's toilet, as I began to look more masculine, I would begin to get strange looks from the women in there, so for my own safety I use the men's.
And yes! I was assigned female at birth! I plan to start taking testosterone, and eventually have gender affirming surgery, so at that point my sex would be male (please don't bring up chromosomes, they're unreliable and give me dysphoria as they make me feel like i could never truly be non-binary) so although thats what the doctors decided when the analysed my body at birth, my sex will hopefully change (or at least to an extent)
If my dad came out as trans, i would use her preferred name and pronouns! There isn't a time limit on coming out, you're just as valid if you are 10 when you come out, or whether you're 60! And yes she would then use women's facilities, if she wants to/feels comfortable to. I think it would be up to her if I called her mum or not, but if she wanted me to, I would use it.
I'm interested in this:
"I would begin to get strange looks from the women in there, so for my own safety I use the men's"
Could you elaborate on this? Is it your genuine belief that women are going to assault you in the ladies' toilets?
And you think that using the men's is safer (then men's loos, where feminine presenting or gay men and trans women claim they are terribly at risk from the threat of male violence)? You know of course that some of their main arguments for trans women being in women's spaces is because of the threat men pose to gender non conforming individuals? Yet you seem to be saying that you feel "safer" there?
Is this based on any evidence from reality, or is it just all a kind of theatrical pretence?
I plan to start taking testosterone, and eventually have gender affirming surgery, so at that point my sex would be male (please don't bring up chromosomes, they're unreliable and give me dysphoria as they make me feel like i could never truly be non-binary) so although thats what the doctors decided when the analysed my body at birth, my sex will hopefully change (or at least to an extent)
You know that hormones and surgery produce cosmetic effects on your body but that you never actually "change sex", don't you? And that many of these treatments can't always be performed, and always carry serious risks? If you don't, I can't imagine that you can be said to have given informed consent to the procedures.
You also know that no doctors "analysed your body at birth", no?
You sound very young and very naive. "Neptunian" or not, you do know that genders and neopronouns are all make believe, don't you? They can't be made to be real, even if you have some of the most drastic surgeries?
You are allowed to dress and cut your hair however you like, whatever you "identify" as! But, "identities" are stories, narratives and beliefs in people's imaginations, ones that are exchanged through language between the subjective, interior world of the self, and the social world of our relationships. They are sometimes fun, and sometimes socially expedient, and sometimes oppressive, and sometimes tell us useful things about the world. But they are social and constructed, not material reality. We all know perfectly well that social and imaginative constructions like "non-binary" are not real. You do not and should not have to change your body to fit an imaginative "identity". Especially not something someone made up on the internet that calls itself:
A non-binary xenogender in the celestial gender system. The original definition of neptunian is a gender linked to the void and to a soft, celestial, masculine energy. It is never hyper masculine. It is not male-aligned, simply linked. Ones who identify as Neptunian may feel different amounts of masculine energy at different times.
These are pretend, made up things for kids and teenagers. No-one should be thinking of having drastic major surgery that will affect them lifelong because of some sub-fantasy-novel level make-believe they read on the internet. You might not like to hear it, but it is true, unfortunately. Rather than thinking about hormones or chromosomes, you would do better to read some good classic novels, or get outside for a walk, or take up photography or volunteering, or another pursuit where you can meet people in real life and get some social interaction in person. I wish you well.