DD declaring she is transgender

[SystemOverloaded]

To start, please can I ask you to be gentle. I'm not in a good place; this is not due in whole to this situation, but life has been hard and I've been struggling to carry on.
DD (now 16) told me she was a lesbian at 14. Obviously this was not remotely an issue, she was told it was completely normal and she could love whoever she wanted. About 6 months later she sent me a text message (which I could tell straight away was copied and pasted in part from the Internet) declaring she was non binary and wanted us to call her by another name and use she/they. Again, fine. We didn't make it a big deal, said its fine to be whoever you want to be and we would try and remember the name they wanted. I must admit DH does slip up with this but tries not to. In all honesty I think she wanted more of a "shocked" reaction and a scene. She is part of a computer gaming group online (since 14) who I have since learned are mostly non binary/trans and have a massive influence on her. She also goes to college and I would say 80% of the class are non binary or trans -I am not over exaggerating. I have this morning found a note to me and DH in her room saying she thinks she is a trans man. I just don't know where to go with this from here. In all honesty I genuinely don't think she is trans at all. Before I get jumped on this is NOT because I don't want a trans child at all. This is because I believe she is confused, easily led and unsure about her body and is desperate to fit in with a group and be accepted. She struggled at school to find a group of friends and was lonely a lot and she does tend to mould herself around people's identity/hobbies to fit in with them. Where do I go from here? I want to be supportive but I don't believe this is what she really feels. Please help, I'm so lost and terrified if I question anything with her I will lose her and she will hate me.
I suffer with depression and OCD and diagnosed severe anxiety, I run a business and have a son with SEN. Life is a uphill struggle at the moment even with a wonderful husband and kids and I don't know how much longer I can cope. It seems easier not to be here.

[quote AgathaMystery]@GeorgiaPass please don’t post links to Mermaids. It’s an absolute shit show of an organisation. Most of us are actively trying to make sure our kids schools use decent resources & Mermaids isn’t one of them.

I know that TRA think Mermaids is the business but it’s a load of old shite.[/quote]
Thanks for the updated info - sorry for the mistake on my part I have apologised to OP too

Hi everyone,
Hope you don't mind that this is an older thread updated -I had to take some time out before and left MN for a while to do this.
Let me start by saying a huge thank you to everyone for your advice and support. It's been so comforting to know I'm not alone and to receive such good advice and links.
There has been little progress with relation to DD. She/he hasn't approached the subject with me but I know had changed their college details to their new identity and wears a flag badge/has a trans flag in her bedroom. She seems happy at college and is doing well, I don't call her her birth name anymore but tend to use a nickname anyway as we always have which they don't mind. DS has refused to call her by the new name flat out -they absolutely love each other but with his autism he just doesn't get it and hates change. This hasn't caused any arguments as she knows he is NT and would find it harder to deal with.
I'm still struggling massively. I have a feeling she will be going to the doctors soon to ask for testosterone -I can just tell that's the way it's going. I've tried reading up on this and it scares me health wise. I understand there is a waiting list, is it available for under 18s anyway? Is it just handed out on request?! I totally understand it is DD choice and it's not my body, I'm just so scared for her health and wellbeing. I know she is so influenced by her online gaming group of friends who have trans members and don't know if this is coming from her or of this is how she really feels.
I'm never ever going to risk losing my child so will support her all the way, Im just so confused. We've done loads of activities together, watch movies and have a good relationship which is loving, I just am so stuck.