How to pass as a woman

[Justme56]

www.wikihow.com/%22Pass%22-As-a-Woman

"smiling and playing with your hair are 2 common feminine gestures"

Well I walk sideways on the days I'm identifying as a crab.

Unless you're identifying as a crab but are pissed out of your brain. Then you walk forwards.

I tend to walk like Delaney's donkey with a leg at every corner balancing the head on the days when I'm identifying as able bodied and trying to pass. It doesn't usually work that well, since the basic, hard fact is that I'm not.

And then I have to question why I'm not facing up to and accepting my reality, which is that this body just doesn't look or do what I wish very much that it did. Why be ashamed of it? Why deny it?

Don't kick out behind to close a door.
I knew someone waiting to change gender - they had long hair and flowing skirts but when they wanted to close an open door they kicked backwards with their dainty sandal to close it. It somehow seemed something women dont' do.

@Yusanaim

Don't kick out behind to close a door. I knew someone waiting to change gender - they had long hair and flowing skirts but when they wanted to close an open door they kicked backwards with their dainty sandal to close it. It somehow seemed something women dont' do.

?

I do that. DD also does that. I've seen other women do that

@PlanktonsComputerWife

Well I walk sideways on the days I'm identifying as a crab.

Unless you're identifying as a crab but are pissed out of your brain. Then you walk forwards.

I obviously haven't the wikihow on passing as a crab. How embarrassing

does anyone remember in Men Behaving Badly when Gary says something about differences between men & women and Tony says:"it's how we take our t-shirts off"

🤣

so true, but I'd never thought about it before!
even my youngest son has always taken his t-shirts & jumpers off by reacing behind his head then pulling t-shirt over his head.

I have never ever seen a woman do that. Instead we cross arms in front, grab bottom hem of top then pull upwards or for a looser garment there might be grabbing of a sleeve, pull arm in then that arm helps to push other sleeve from inside while other arms is pulled inside the top. then you lift the neck hole over your head from front to back.

Do any of you take tops/vests/t-shirts/jumpers off like boys do?

If they were actually women surely they wouldn't need to ask or get advice on how to do it. Doesn't this just highlight they are not that which they claim to be?

tbh the title of the article is misleading. it should be "how to pretend to be a woman while being fully aware you will never be one"

they could do everything and more and do lady things until blue in the face they will never pass as a woman and most importantly will never be women.

Being a woman is not a question of dressing up & make believe.
We are not sheep. we recognise wolves in sheeps' clothing

Going by that article actually I think I might be a man!

umm, how else does anyone walk?
Like the dance scene in the Inbetweeners movie? Everyone copy Neil.

I'm a bit bemused by the article. Despite all the instructions on how to pass as a woman, the illustrator keeps on drawing an obviously male-shaped person (and v.v. for the ftm article) which promptly undoes all the performative nonsense.
Are they subtly trying to say something?

Even the how to pass as male is full of female stereotypes. This section continues on to give advice on manspreading! Both are incredibly offensive.

Take up space rather than trying to be unobtrusive. Women tend to make themselves look smaller, such as by crossing their legs, slouching, or keeping their arms tucked in. Do the opposite of these things to appear more masculine. Sit with your legs spread apart, sit or stand up straight and tall, and take up space with your arms.

I see we've already been berated for not "being kind". If you continuously insult and berate someone they stop listening to you. It's 4 years too late for "be kind" to have any effect on me, my last fuck to give grabbed it's coat and departed sometime ago. I will not be told by anyone how I'm allowed to discuss women being reduced to a performance.

Yeah, the notion that you can hoodwink actual women into thinking you are one too by learning how to mince along like a pantomime dame and taking a fucking shower! is pretty insulting, alright...

@NecessaryScene

Here we see theory being put into practice. Result.

Exactly.

When my ex was not yet quite my ex, but had already decided he was really "a girl", we travelled abroad and visited a museum. At some point I noticed he was standing funny with his other leg lifted up and bent a little, he had his head cocked to the side coyly, and he was trying to twirl his hair. I then noticed there was a glass display that reflected his image and understood that he was practicing. I told him to look around at all the hundreds of women around us - no one was doing any of that stuff. Apparently he also got the instructions from an article on the internet.

@Bluebell246

Going by that article actually I think I might be a man!

@Bluebell246

same. if we go by that list.
stomach covered in stretchmarks from several pgs remind me otherwise 🤣

Lovelyricepudding, that sitcom was the utterly brilliant Coupling, which ran for three series. Steve (Jack Davenport) was explaining there is only one pair of stockings in the world, and his mate’s girlfriend will never wear them for him again as they are “needed in New Zealand”. And said the same went for thongs - “after you’re engaged, she’ll be sitting there in pants the size of Switzerland…”!
I still laugh at mad Geoff, frantically trying to reassure his (non English speaking) Israeli girlfriend that he didn’t collect women’s ears in a bucket.
Sorry, completely off piste with the thread. But you conjured up some lovely memories, which distracted me from the vile stereotypes and anti feminist shit exposed in that ludicrous “how to fake being a woman” guide!

@groundcontroltomontydon

umm, how else does anyone walk? Like the dance scene in the Inbetweeners movie? Everyone copy Neil.

Minus the erection obvs

Kimiko Just trying to clarify what you meant, as you repeatedly used a different word while focusing on what it meant.

Sorry you felt so embarrassed by a repeated typo that you resorted to rudeness rather than simply saying "oh, they were typos, I actually meant "empathetic"". Hope you're feeling better now.

I'd rather take posts as written rather than assume I know better as to what someone meant to post.

They missed a bit …. “Women In thoughts be plain and simple and let your natural sweetness shine through”

.

I feel genuinely bewildered by the FTM version. Even if I accept the premise that gender identity is an innate feeling, and nothing to do with gender expression and stereotypes, I'm finding it really hard to imagine feeling deeply that I wanted to pass as a man, and yet still need to be advised "Men are rarely seen with purses, so steer clear of them."

To not recognise that particular gender norm (and there are other examples in the article), I would have had to have spent very little time with men, or pretty much never spent time watching them irl or on TV etc.. So on what basis would I be so sure that I am a "man", if I'm that clueless of the gender norm?

I thought this might be satire, but sadly not so. I felt the need to point out that we can always tell, but I doubt it will go up in comments. I just knew that the head tilt and hair flicking would be there. But honestly, I know absolutely no one like that!

@MonsignorMirth

Kimiko Just trying to clarify what you meant, as you repeatedly used a different word while focusing on what it meant.

Sorry you felt so embarrassed by a repeated typo that you resorted to rudeness rather than simply saying "oh, they were typos, I actually meant "empathetic"". Hope you're feeling better now.

I'd rather take posts as written rather than assume I know better as to what someone meant to post.

You clearly knew perfectly well what was meant but still felt the need to point it out with the faux puzzled face and "I don't even know what means. It's generally taken on MN that being superior about poor grammar and pointing out typos is poor form and done for point scoring.

@MonsignorMirth

Kimiko Just trying to clarify what you meant, as you repeatedly used a different word while focusing on what it meant.

Sorry you felt so embarrassed by a repeated typo that you resorted to rudeness rather than simply saying "oh, they were typos, I actually meant "empathetic"". Hope you're feeling better now.

I'd rather take posts as written rather than assume I know better as to what someone meant to post.

Oh and in your rush to point score I suppose you simply overlooked the non typo? I suppose that's easier than actually addressing any points?

Oh bugger - it seems that I've been doing womaning all wrong my whole life. Thank goodness for this helpful article! I'm off now to buy some nail polish and practice my walk.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

I do that. DD also does that. I've seen other women do that
Really? in long floaty skirts - it was in front of a class full of students.
Just seemed unlikely to me and I'd never seen a female teacher do ti.