I think I’m going mad….

[Iootraw1]

I’ve absolutely had enough of my family bringing up ‘mum’s views’ (which I’ve learnt to keep completely private from them due to previously accusations of bigotry’), and then when I say a single thing in response,, accusing me of being ‘obsessed’ with it and not keeping it to myself!

I feel like I’m going mad. Husband saying he doesn’t know why I’m so obsessed with trans matters and I should keep to myself - I do! I don’t want to share with them because they don’t agree and don’t want to hear it.
Ever since the first time I tried to bring up and got shot down my him and kids I decided I would never mention again and wait for them one day to find out for themselves and be peaked.

But Just once again tonight in response to their accusations (they brought up subject not me) I tried to explain briefly why it opposes women’s rights and homosexual rights and got quickly turned upon. I’ve bought Trans by Helen Joyce now and will just tell them to read it next time (although will no doubt get condemned for buying a ‘transphobic’ book and they will refuse to read it) I feel really down, I can’t even have my own personal opinions and thoughts now without my very own family trying to eek out of me what ‘I really think’ and nose at what I’m looking at over my shoulder (I follow Glinner and Posie and Mars). I’ve bought headphones so they don’t hear it and never share any of it. I have to clear my history in case they search it.

It’s like some weird dystopia we’ve all been forced to enter. I even mentioned the olympics tonight in my defence and they still they said that I imagine all of this and it’s not really happening.

What will it take for they and the general public to wake up and at least listen to women’s concerns? I feel so upset tonight. 😩

I generally don't like the guess male thing.

But you must know that it would be very unusual for a woman here to use that word.

I'm not sure I ever have but couldn't swear to it.

No, not stereotypes to recognise men.

They are women's greatest predator.

Survival my dear.

OP there are a few actual suggestions in there for you.

I'm sorry your kids are being little sods. It's standard teen behaviour.

If were a different person who agreed with them on this, they'd be aiming for something else you cared about or were insecure about.

Anything.

Your clothes your taste in music your views on xyz political thing etc.

Your DH needs to be on your side here.

I think the mums often bear the brunt of it. I'm sure there are reasons for that. Talk to your DH.

@BluebirdsSong

Do you think everyone who disagrees with you is a man?

On this board yes. Or they're a mens sexual rights activist. Or a trans privilege activist (TPA). Or a mens privilege activist (MPA). Whatever you prefer.

@NiceGerbil

I generally don't like the guess male thing.

But you must know that it would be very unusual for a woman here to use that word.

I'm not sure I ever have but couldn't swear to it.

I mean, I was obviously using it in a sarcastic manner to mock the whole "I can divine your sex from your posting style" thing.

Not a guess.

Clear as day that you are a man.

Not unladylike to use the word.

It's because it's
Very old fashioned
Full of judgement of women's compliance with certain behaviours/ appearance expectations of the person who says it
Used to be used mainly by men to insult women. Sometimes women too.

Like I say it's pretty much out of use in my experience but when it was used sometimes and taking to older female relations some examples of unladylike behaviour were things like: (and they changed over the years before it became IME not used).

Drinking pints
Smoking esp on the street
Swearing
Disagreeing with men
Not having a body shape that was petite
Laughing loudly
Talking loudly
Getting drunk

Etc etc etc.

I feel you, OP. My eldest is 35 and woke as anything. We have always been aligned politically, until now. He is firmly of the view that TWAW and nothing will dissuade him. It’s like he’s been brainwashed.

My DH was the same, he used to laugh at me and was quite disparaging about people like Posie Parker.

That is, until he peaked when he realised that Self-ID meant that any old pervert could wander into the ladies loo or changing room and have access to his precious DD 🙄.

DH is now as GC as I am.

@Chickenyhead

Not a guess.

Clear as day that you are a man.

Darn, it must've been the masculine words that women never use and masculine opinions that women never use that exposed me. 😔

I shouldn't have underestimated the gender critical feminists -- true experts at recognizing the immutable connection between behavior and sex!

Or about 115 years old.

Seriously.

I think my gran said it sometimes.
She died in the mid 90s and was mid 80s.

I have no idea of the sex or age and don't like guessing games.

That's such a bizarre thing to read though!
An out of date word for trying to shame women who don't adhere to their sex role. However restrictive it was at the time.

My aunt was refused a pint in a pub in the late 60s.

The thinking behind that being women shouldn't drink pints. It's not right. It's not, you could say, ladylike...

Nope.

Privilege and threat.

"masculine opinions that women never use"
*never hold

Can I ask a serious question.

Given the fact that ladylike is not a word generally used these days. And the judgement around female compliance with their sex role. Almost always used as an insult.

What made you choose that word?

Was it pointed in some way or is it in your general vocabulary. If the latter, how come?. family use it/ from a non UK country where it's used?

Why did you feel that what was said translated to an accusation of not being ladylike?

Weird opinion. Not one I agree with or can relate to.

I have very "masculine " opinions apparently. Meh, opinions aren't sexed.

@NiceGerbil
I was mocking the notion that you can determine someone's sex simply by how they talk. The very idea is inherently rooted in gender stereotypes about behavior.

Oh, is it? Nah you made that up.

@Chickenyhead

I have very "masculine " opinions apparently. Meh, opinions aren't sexed.

I wasn't talking about you. But now that you've said this, why did you assume I must be a male because of mine? Are my opinions sexed?

Opinions cannot be sexed.

Can they?

Not in my experience.

Male privilege is clear as is threat.

No idea how any of my posts had involved "male privilege", and I'm pretty sure I haven't made any threats.

Differences between male sexed and female sexed people that you can never see, because you are not a woman and haven't experienced life as a woman.

Men are women's biggest predators.

We see you. Very clearly.

Anyway, I feel that the deliberations about my sex derailed this thread long enough.

No deliberations. You are a man.

You derailed the thread on purpose. Take a bow.

Sorry again about all this OP.

Just thought.

If you think it might give them pause.
And if they are arguing that gender is more important than sex/ sex is irrelevant/ biological essentialism etc etc

Just say.

Look. I carried you through pregnancy and then gave birth to you.

Having my own two children constantly picking arguments with me. That sex is irrelevant/ thinking biology matters is bigoted/ etc is incredibly rude/ disrespectful/ tactless/ thoughtless / out of order/ whatever.

This topic is closed. Full stop.

If either of you bring it up again I will.. pocket money etc whatever.

(You need to not mention it either as well obv).

@Chickenyhead

Differences between male sexed and female sexed people that you can never see, because you are not a woman and haven't experienced life as a woman.

Men are women's biggest predators.

We see you. Very clearly.

Lol, okay. I guess my sex is no longer based on my genitals, gametes, or chromosomes. Instead it's based on whether you think my posts have the "male vibe".

Sexed forum posts.