I think I’m going mad….

[Iootraw1]

I’ve absolutely had enough of my family bringing up ‘mum’s views’ (which I’ve learnt to keep completely private from them due to previously accusations of bigotry’), and then when I say a single thing in response,, accusing me of being ‘obsessed’ with it and not keeping it to myself!

I feel like I’m going mad. Husband saying he doesn’t know why I’m so obsessed with trans matters and I should keep to myself - I do! I don’t want to share with them because they don’t agree and don’t want to hear it.
Ever since the first time I tried to bring up and got shot down my him and kids I decided I would never mention again and wait for them one day to find out for themselves and be peaked.

But Just once again tonight in response to their accusations (they brought up subject not me) I tried to explain briefly why it opposes women’s rights and homosexual rights and got quickly turned upon. I’ve bought Trans by Helen Joyce now and will just tell them to read it next time (although will no doubt get condemned for buying a ‘transphobic’ book and they will refuse to read it) I feel really down, I can’t even have my own personal opinions and thoughts now without my very own family trying to eek out of me what ‘I really think’ and nose at what I’m looking at over my shoulder (I follow Glinner and Posie and Mars). I’ve bought headphones so they don’t hear it and never share any of it. I have to clear my history in case they search it.

It’s like some weird dystopia we’ve all been forced to enter. I even mentioned the olympics tonight in my defence and they still they said that I imagine all of this and it’s not really happening.

What will it take for they and the general public to wake up and at least listen to women’s concerns? I feel so upset tonight. 😩

So.. did Bluebird come back and tell us exactly why they claim to speak for all trans people?

I may have missed the answer.

@Helleofabore

So.. did Bluebird come back and tell us exactly why they claim to speak for all trans people?

I may have missed the answer.

Bluebird was too busy saying they want the law changed to remove protection for homosexuals and getting their bigoted arse banned.

Yes Floral. I did notice that they had some particularly horrific attitudes towards lesbians. So homophobic, misogynistic and racist. And simply ignorant to boot.

Did they get banned already then?

Banned a reregged a couple of times, complaining that we weren't prepared to negotiate about homosexuality and that meant we had started a war. Prat. I dunno what's wrong with these people. Maybe they've got their rainbow lanyards done up too tight, cutting off the circulation.

Ah! Thanks Floral. I was at the pub. Seems I missed it all.

(Off to look on that particular thread where lots of sunlight shone in and a live demonstration was enacted over the past day.).

I took a break for a few days. Am finding that various news stories etc are making me feel so angry, frustrated and helpless.

Been gobsmacked to come back and read this thread. I really hope the OP is ok.

I’m stunned at this poster’s contributions. I still can’t wrap my head around why certain factions are so keen to shout transphobia. When the majority of posts on here are not against trans people, but are for women’s rights, safety etc.

But these views go above and beyond. My gut instinct was to report the posts, but I haven’t because there are more knowledgable people on this thread who obviously haven’t. And am starting to see that letting opinions remain is a good thing.

One thing I’m learning is that there is a discernible difference in how posts come across. I’m almost desperate for a TRA to post a coherent, non-insulting and evidence-based message.

@Iootraw1

No I’m not in a controlling relationship. It’s just this one topic it seems. And having an 18 and 15 year old it seems this is the way they all think now. They don’t listen to other people’s views, can’t disagree with anyone else without being derisive. Young people seem to think they have to all agree on everything all they can’t like someone at all, or have to ‘correct’ their thinking. But I long for the day everyone wakes up and smells the roses and gives women, gay people and anyone who’s stood up in the past against this a bloody break.

"if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got."

I read that here on Mumsnet years ago, and it really struck a chord with me.

So, what are you doing now? You're knuckling under, keeping quiet, using headphones - making yourself as small as you can be. How's that working for you, huh? Getting any respect, anything positive from it? No. You're 'BeingKind' and in return they are 'BeingShitty'. It's time to stop doing what you've always done, isn't it?

I would suggest that next time they "nose at what I’m looking at over my shoulder" or anything else, you tell them to bugger off go away and stop being so rude to you. Call them bigots and homophobes and misogynists and say out loud that their inability to handle disagreement is childish and pathetic. Get angry! In short - go on the offensive, because being defensive is just emboldening them to treat you like shit.

And as for your husband! "Husband saying he doesn’t know why I’m so obsessed with trans matters and I should keep to myself" - tell him off! 'No, I will not keep my opinions to myself! I am your equal partner in this marriage and you don't get to tell me what to say and what to think. Back off!'

And as has already been suggested - stop doing nice things for them. Because after all, how can they bear to accept anything from a transphobe like yourself?

Push back. They don't accept that anyone can disagree with them, so you don't accept their rudeness. Fuck 'BeKind' - it's time to 'BeAssertive'.