I think I’m going mad….

[Iootraw1]

I’ve absolutely had enough of my family bringing up ‘mum’s views’ (which I’ve learnt to keep completely private from them due to previously accusations of bigotry’), and then when I say a single thing in response,, accusing me of being ‘obsessed’ with it and not keeping it to myself!

I feel like I’m going mad. Husband saying he doesn’t know why I’m so obsessed with trans matters and I should keep to myself - I do! I don’t want to share with them because they don’t agree and don’t want to hear it.
Ever since the first time I tried to bring up and got shot down my him and kids I decided I would never mention again and wait for them one day to find out for themselves and be peaked.

But Just once again tonight in response to their accusations (they brought up subject not me) I tried to explain briefly why it opposes women’s rights and homosexual rights and got quickly turned upon. I’ve bought Trans by Helen Joyce now and will just tell them to read it next time (although will no doubt get condemned for buying a ‘transphobic’ book and they will refuse to read it) I feel really down, I can’t even have my own personal opinions and thoughts now without my very own family trying to eek out of me what ‘I really think’ and nose at what I’m looking at over my shoulder (I follow Glinner and Posie and Mars). I’ve bought headphones so they don’t hear it and never share any of it. I have to clear my history in case they search it.

It’s like some weird dystopia we’ve all been forced to enter. I even mentioned the olympics tonight in my defence and they still they said that I imagine all of this and it’s not really happening.

What will it take for they and the general public to wake up and at least listen to women’s concerns? I feel so upset tonight. 😩

Why don’t you each pick a book, a video and an article that the other side has to read then discuss it after.

They can’t accuse you of bigotry if you are willing to learn but they are not.

@Chickenyhead

One book = obsession

Do TRAs not read?

Wow

How many "TRA" written books have you read?

If they discuss it infront of you walk away let them listen to themselves in their cosy echo chamber

No, you are not going mad. Dh has no skin in the game ( or so he thinks at the moment) so why would he be bothered. Dc are in a peer pressure situation and probably can't agree with you because it would mean social gulag for them. You have your own sense of integrity and a right backed up by law to believe in whatever you see fit.
Also, you may be Mum, wife, or partner but you are still an entire person in your own right. Just because you have these different roles doesn't give dh or dc the right to treat you like some kind of aberrant automation that needs reprogramming.

@Chickenyhead

Wow imagine being that person and having nothing better to do than hurt people on a Saturday night? Quite sad really. Poor man.

Haha! Yeah chicken. 'Takes one to know one'. And in this instance, hasnt a dandoo about women or the sisterhood.

@alkanet
"Dc are in a peer pressure situation and probably can't agree with you because it would mean social gulag for them."

Why, do you think the "peer pressure group" has hidden cameras installed in their house?

[quote BluebirdsSong]@alkanet
"Dc are in a peer pressure situation and probably can't agree with you because it would mean social gulag for them."

Why, do you think the "peer pressure group" has hidden cameras installed in their house?[/quote]
No. They know it's all shite but cant say otherwise. Hence the term, peer pressure.

TWAW on no planet EVER. Ever. Ever. Ever.

Fact. Biology. Science.

But kids cant disagree these days. Problem innit.

Why do threads where the OP is distressed, always attract the most attacks. It's like some posters just like to try to hurt people.

I'm in a bad mood tonight indeed, had enough of people deliberately attacking people who are struggling. It is...nasty.

I have in general realised how unimportant it is to have people agree with you. It's pretty low on the list of life's necessities.

And even though you might feel it is important, when you mention here that your lack of pandering has irritated family members, the people who are really annoyed that people don't agree with them, let it be known that their need for agreement is so important to them that they are constantly watching the people that disagree.

It's quite fascinating.

@Chickenyhead

Why do threads where the OP is distressed, always attract the most attacks. It's like some posters just like to try to hurt people.

I'm in a bad mood tonight indeed, had enough of people deliberately attacking people who are struggling. It is...nasty.

Usual flying monkey males. Bombarding the womens spaces. And they wonder why we have a problem!

I'm not sure it's us with the problem tbh

@TalkingOutYerArse
"They know it's all shite but cant say otherwise. Hence the term, peer pressure."

Why not? What's stopping them? They could easily approach the OP and privately tell her they agree with her, if they agreed with her at all. It's not like private conversations in one's own home are public social media statements.

Alternate, more plausible scenario: they think her anti-trans obsession is all shite instead.

Bully the women who are struggling menz

YAWN

Struggling with... the fact that others won't nod along to her anti-trans views?

Pro-women. Trans can do as they please as long as women's safety and dignity are preserved.

It is a particularly cruel, lonely, sad man that bullies women on a support thread I find.

One might say weak.

OP -

It's really shit they're all winding you up/ picking a row when you have STFU about the topic.

What I would do is.

Talk to DH. Tell him it's been going on too long and feels like 3 against 1. That you've STFU and keep getting prodded about it.

Naturally you're upset as this is your family your home.

It needs to stop.

He needs to have a word saying that's it. Mum won't mention it. You need to stop. And I will as well.

Arguments about more trivial things have broken families apart. And she's your mum and we've all been out of line.

And let him police it.

Will he do that?

Other thing I can think of is when they bring it up just walk away. Whatever you're doing. Just don't engage and get out of Dodge.

Dunno. Any more ideas?

Do you think everyone who disagrees with you is a man?

I don't think bluebird has lived with teenagers.

Posting style is quite a good indicator tbh.

Oh really? What about my "posting style" have you found unladylike?

[quote BluebirdsSong]@TalkingOutYerArse
"They know it's all shite but cant say otherwise. Hence the term, peer pressure."

Why not? What's stopping them? They could easily approach the OP and privately tell her they agree with her, if they agreed with her at all. It's not like private conversations in one's own home are public social media statements.

Alternate, more plausible scenario: they think her anti-trans obsession is all shite instead.[/quote]
Lol

You don't remember being 15/ 18?

Loads of children are total sods.
Their parents know nothing
Don't understand them
Are generally awful in every way
Etc etc

This is hardly unusual teenage behaviour! You've not come across it?

Just trying to think.. like Kevin the teenager, that stuff.

Unladylike?

Not a word women use tbh

Very male privilege

@Chickenyhead

Unladylike?

Not a word women use tbh

Very male privilege

Oh gosh darn, dearie me, I wasn't aware it was unladylike of me to say unladylike, I'm ever so sorry!

Very gender critical btw. I can just see how deeply opposed you are to gender stereotypes.

You know loads of families have widely differing views on loads of divisive/ major topics surely?

And most find a way to rub along as a family.

The OP says she has STFU on the topic but they kept keep bringing it up and angling for a right.

It's not her that seems to be raising it and demanding others nod along.