Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Trans lesbian?

703 replies

Timeforatincture · 26/04/2021 18:39

My first ever post on this board. Long time reader, and have found it highly educational. Thank you everyone.

There is a pullout in today's Guardian about influential lesbians. Cameos and longer pieces. One of the longer pieces is an interview with a "trans lesbian."

AIBUin thinking that's a bit odd?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
MrsNewms85 · 24/06/2021 19:52

@TalkingtoLangClegintheDark I'm not ignoring any backdrop, I take on board what you're saying and how a lot of you on this feed feel and say you have experienced.

This does not mean that I have to agree with you on all of your opinions or that anyone has the right to tell someone else how they should sexually identify.

That's the beauty of open debate, you get a chance to say how you feel, you won't agree with everyone, but as long as it's kept polite a d respectful it's ok.

Keepemguessing · 24/06/2021 20:12

I'm confused as to why one should be respectful to someone pretending to be a woman. Or non binary which is nonsense.

I'm polite but don't actually respect what they're saying.

MrsNewms85 · 24/06/2021 20:23

@Keepemguessing

I'm confused as to why one should be respectful to someone pretending to be a woman. Or non binary which is nonsense.

I'm polite but don't actually respect what they're saying.

Being polite is being respectful.

The way I feel about self identity is someone could want to identify as a courgette and yes I'd think they're bat shit crazy but if they weren't hurting me personally, themselves or anyone else I'd leave them to it and wish them well.

334bu · 24/06/2021 20:24

that anyone has the right to tell someone else how they should sexually identify

Exactly and that is why it insults lesbians when someone appropriates their sexual identity and says that a heterosexual sexual identity is the same as a homosexual one. A male person cannot be a lesbian, therefore transwomen attracted to women are heterosexual.

Datun · 24/06/2021 20:28

The way I feel about self identity is someone could want to identify as a courgette and yes I'd think they're bat shit crazy but if they weren't hurting me personally, themselves or anyone else I'd leave them to it and wish them well.

Well of course, but it would all change if they suddenly announced they wanted to live in your fridge, because of it.

littlbrowndog · 24/06/2021 20:32

Lol datun

Yes exactly

Shedbuilder · 24/06/2021 20:33

What if I took them at their word and decided to chop them up to go in a ratatouille?

MrsNewms85 · 24/06/2021 20:35

@Shedbuilder

What if I took them at their word and decided to chop them up to go in a ratatouille?
Sounds like a Netflix documentary in the making.....
MrsNewms85 · 24/06/2021 20:59

@Datun

The way I feel about self identity is someone could want to identify as a courgette and yes I'd think they're bat shit crazy but if they weren't hurting me personally, themselves or anyone else I'd leave them to it and wish them well.

Well of course, but it would all change if they suddenly announced they wanted to live in your fridge, because of it.

Then their extreme behaviour would be reported to the relevant people to deal with them or get them help..... I wouldn't though spend my life assuming that all people who identify as courgettes will also attempt to move into my fridge.
Shedbuilder · 24/06/2021 21:27

Lesbians have been hoping for years that the behaviour of men passing themselves off as lesbians would have been dealt with by the relevant people. When one of them persistently turned up at the local women's centre demanding admission to lesbian events we called the police to ask how to deal with it. They didn't want to know — not because they thought it was okay (they knew him and his long history of antisocial behaviour) but because, in their opinion, he needed psychiatric help. He shut down a number of women's organisations in this area and they are sorely missed.

Are you a lesbian, Mrs Newman? If not, please don't tell lesbians what they should and shouldn't do. None of your business.

MrsNewms85 · 24/06/2021 21:30

@Shedbuilder

Lesbians have been hoping for years that the behaviour of men passing themselves off as lesbians would have been dealt with by the relevant people. When one of them persistently turned up at the local women's centre demanding admission to lesbian events we called the police to ask how to deal with it. They didn't want to know — not because they thought it was okay (they knew him and his long history of antisocial behaviour) but because, in their opinion, he needed psychiatric help. He shut down a number of women's organisations in this area and they are sorely missed.

Are you a lesbian, Mrs Newman? If not, please don't tell lesbians what they should and shouldn't do. None of your business.

I'm not telling anyone what they should do, I'm just saying how I feel about it.

As you've said, this man needed psychological help, but it's not the fault of all other trans women that he wasn't getting it.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/06/2021 21:53

As you've said, this man needed psychological help, but it's not the fault of all other trans women that he wasn't getting it.

It's not about the odd one individual here and there. It's a culture of entitlement and harassment from people to lesbians over this issue. What is it about these male people that makes you think their feelings trump those of lesbian women? Why all the pandering to this group and this group alone?

Ladylokidoki · 24/06/2021 21:59

As you've said, this man needed psychological help, but it's not the fault of all other trans women that he wasn't getting it.

Nor was it the fault or responsibility of the lesbians attending those events.

MrsNewms85 · 24/06/2021 22:07

@Ereshkigalangcleg

As you've said, this man needed psychological help, but it's not the fault of all other trans women that he wasn't getting it.

It's not about the odd one individual here and there. It's a culture of entitlement and harassment from people to lesbians over this issue. What is it about these male people that makes you think their feelings trump those of lesbian women? Why all the pandering to this group and this group alone?

I've not said that they trump lesbians though, not once.
MrsNewms85 · 24/06/2021 22:08

@Ladylokidoki

As you've said, this man needed psychological help, but it's not the fault of all other trans women that he wasn't getting it.

Nor was it the fault or responsibility of the lesbians attending those events.

And I never said it was...
Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/06/2021 22:36

Well of course, but it would all change if they suddenly announced they wanted to live in your fridge, because of it.

Quite.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/06/2021 22:44

The way I feel about self identity is someone could want to identify as a courgette and yes I'd think they're bat shit crazy but if they weren't hurting me personally

What if the whole act of males identifying as women and claiming to be lesbians was hurting you personally, as a woman and a lesbian? How do you think you'd feel then?

Ladylokidoki · 25/06/2021 00:33

And I never said it was...

Yet it was their group that was closed down? It was them that suffered consequences.

NiceGerbil · 25/06/2021 02:12

'
As you've said, this man needed psychological help, but it's not the fault of all other trans women that he wasn't getting it.'

I understand why the poster you're responding to described this person as s man.

But why have you? They had a transfer identity, and identified as a woman and a lesbian.

Confused.

NiceGerbil · 25/06/2021 02:35

In the end as ever it comes back to male people.

Are the people coming on here pushing the idea that male people can be lesbians. Going after porn sites? They more than anyone are very very very wed to biological sex and descriptors.

Lesbian porn on mainstream sites is not pot luck on what sex people you will see. It's women, or people with vaginas. Whatever we are called these days.

Is there any action to hold them to account for this? I've not heard of any.

There is also the point that lots of men fetishise lesbians. You want what you can't have. And in a patriarchal society the fact of female homosexuality is an affront to men. A total rejection of the gender proscribed role in society. Something that is totally not for them.

As much as so many men simultaneously desire and despise women. It goes double for lesbians.

And now female homosexuality has been redefined as. Same gender attraction. What is gender though? Who is attracted to s gender rather than a sex?

Why does this seem to have predominantly resulted in, sorry. Penis people in bad wigs joining lesbian groups and dating sites etc and being, well. Exactly the sort of behaviour that all women would expect from these spaces being opened up to them.

If TWAW- and that's the stonewall 'anyone who says they are a woman is one', then the big thing about women is that in general we are socialised to be... Well. Not inclined to behave in that way.

The glossing over/ ignoring etc of the basic facts that

There are a shit load of weird pervy men about
Lesbians have always been fetished by plenty of men
Plenty of men do not like anything where women are together and they don't know what's going on
Plenty of men get s kick out of breaching women's boundaries

And etc etc.

The fact it's being pushed hard that women talking about the large minority of men who are weirdy perves is sexist or s dog whistle or something is one of the worst things about all this.

Uterus-ovulatory vagina people who fancy other menstruator fallopian tube bearers have always been sidelined, more hidden. To insist that vagina owners who are sexually attracted to clitoris bearers must say ok to having their homosexual hard won spaces up to anyone who feels like a lesbian that day is, it's shit.

334bu · 25/06/2021 08:09

Uterus-ovulatory vagina people who fancy other menstruator fallopian tube bearers have always been sidelined, more hidden. To insist that vagina owners who are sexually attracted to clitoris bearers must say ok to having their homosexual hard won spaces up to anyone who feels like a lesbian that day is, it's shit
Alleluia vagina owner sister!!!!

Transwomen are male and if attracted to vagina/ovaries/menstruators ...owners are hetereosexuals.

TheWeeDonkey · 25/06/2021 09:08

Good point NiceGerbil as usual you've explained this so clearly.

A translesbian is peak male entitlement on steroids. If you believe that womanhood is a feeling and female sexuality is purely for the pleasure of men then male lesbians are the logical conclusion.

StrangeLookingParasite · 25/06/2021 10:37

I don't personally believe that there will be a material problem with people acting in bad faith - for example, pretending to ID as a sex that, deep down, they feel that they are not, in order to secure some advantage, or harm others.

I can't believe how blinkered you would need to be to not see this is already happening everywhere. Jesus wept.

Clarice99 · 25/06/2021 21:53

The way I feel about self identity is someone could want to identify as a courgette and yes I'd think they're bat shit crazy but if they weren't hurting me personally, themselves or anyone else I'd leave them to it and wish them well.

So, if someone wants to self-identify as a courgette, they're bat shit crazy, but a man identifies as a woman, that's okay? They're not bat shit crazy?

joystir59 · 26/06/2021 16:54

Trans lesbian is an impossibility as lesbians are adult human females sexually attracted to their adult Han females. Lesbians don't do dick.