Do you watch porn?

[RadandMad]

I've been reading a convo on Twitter where several people are claiming - including a woman - that women watch porn as well as men. My first reaction is, this isn't true. Sure, I've watched it from time to time, usually in the company of men, but it's so boring, so divorced from real sex/real bodies, that I'd almost rather do anything else.

Am I wrong? I realise I'm asking a group of women who are probably going to have a more cynical view of pornography, but I'm having a hard time believing women have a porn habit even remotely comparable to men's.

LouJ85 honestly, it's hard to tell. Does the site make money from the content? Do the 'creators' make money? Do you think consent can be bought? I don't. I have no idea from what you've told me. I don't think any platform where that type of 'content' is being distributed can ever be truly ethical. And even if it was all consensual, it's still contributing to an industry that harms people, so in that regard, no it isn't ethical.

@IAmFleshIAmBone how do you know your clothes weren’t made from poor, exploited kids in a Chinese sweatshop? Should we all just stop wearing clothes on the grounds it’s unethical and ‘contributes to an industry that harms people’?

But if it makes you feel better trying to ‘protect’ these poor women that are so helpless that they need protecting by another group of people then by all means carry on- but they are probably sitting in their mansions with swimming pools in their gardens sipping on cocktails and laughing at you

This is one of the most delusional things I've ever read. Is this how people justify it? That the performers are 'probably' millionaires and sipping cocktails in their free time? Fucking hell.

Do you think consent can be bought?

No I don't.

Stop telling everyone who they should and shouldn’t be wanking over, again it’s very patronising and controlling. It’s people like you that give young women insecurities about exploring their sexuality or make them feel ashamed about enjoying porn. You are doing your feminist cause more harm than good

I'm not sure what you really expected when you posted on this particular sub forum? Of course people are free to make choices about what to watch and watch to participate in ( although many are not 'free', and are coerced in one way or other), but I'm sensing that much of what is driving these choices is in the realm of compulsive/addictive behaviour. There is s real 'hardness' in the way you are posting and 'talking'; a level of rough crudity that to my mind lacks sensitivity or connection. Making comments about how unattractive, old or dried up women must be. Not pleasant!

what to participate in

This is one of the most delusional things I've ever read. Is this how people justify it? That the performers are 'probably' millionaires and sipping cocktails in their free time? Fucking hell

It does sound very hard-bitten.

It does sound very hard-bitten

So does "so you lack empathy for women and enjoy watching rape and torture, do you?" which has been thrown at women on here who dared to admit to watching porn. Just as the millionaire lifestyle comment might be a far fetched, exaggerated version of what happens for some porn stars, so are the comments about women on this thread enjoying scenes of rape and torture. There are numerous shades of grey in between both extreme positions, you might say.

I find all the 'it's not ethical' reasoning massively hypocritical. A lot of the things you pay money for are not ethical...

I find all the 'it's not ethical' reasoning massively hypocritical. A lot of the things you pay money for are not ethical

Of course, in contemporary society it is hard to impossible to avoid being involved, even at the level of just supermarket shopping, in a chain of exploitation; but many do make some attempt to have their values reflected in their choices/purchases/lifestyles etc.
The thing about commercial porn is that you are paying to watch people being exploited or abused right in front of your eyes, and for your supposed pleasure.

@Borntohula when are you starting a thread on that subject? This one is about porn. Other things being unethical don't make it okay to watch porn.

@Borntohula

I find all the 'it's not ethical' reasoning massively hypocritical. A lot of the things you pay money for are not ethical...

So anyone who makes any attempt to alter their behaviour in order to reduce suffering shouldn’t because they’ll be a hypocrite?

Not to mention you seem to have missed the point that those who are capable of empathy actually don’t enjoy watching the suffering of others, let alone get off on it and will likely even be distressed by it.

There is also as mentioned by a pp the impact on the consumer and those in relationships with consumers and the wider implications for society and in particular the way women are viewed and treated in society.

Clothes are essential. And many manufacturers and retailers go to great lengths to obfuscate any less-than-ethical practices in their supply chain. Often, when people finally find out about them, they try to make more ethical choices (I buy 95% of my clothes from charity shops/secondhand on eBay, for example).

Porn is not essential. And the harms it does to women, girls, young men, boys, society in general, are not in the slightest bit hard to find - or even guess at, if you know anything about how the world works. To consume porn without considering those harms requires you to either live under a rock, employ large amounts of cognitive dissonance (which often manifests itself in defensiveness when challenged) or have no empathy.

That’s why that analogy is meaningless.

Of course, in contemporary society it is hard to impossible to avoid being involved, even at the level of just supermarket shopping, in a chain of exploitation; but many do make some attempt to have their values reflected in their choices/purchases/lifestyles etc

When I saw first hand evidence, for example, of the exploitation and abuse involved in factory farming, I became a vegetarian. When directly faced with something, it is difficult to ignore, or justify.

don’t enjoy watching the suffering of others

I find the whole concept of 'enjoyment' a loaded one. It is like asking people if they are 'happy'...what does that even mean? What constitutes happiness? Is it momentary, or is it a continued state of contentment, for example.

I suspect that what people often mean by 'enjoyment' relates to some temporary feeling of relief, or escape, or something like that; or even the feeling that comes with a compulsion indulged, or a curiosity satiated. I'm not sure there is anything genuinely joyful ( in the way that most would understand the concept of joy - as in uplifting) in most pornography

No. We couldn't even if we wanted to because we have the strictest of strict internet settings on our router!

@AlwaysLatte

No. We couldn't even if we wanted to because we have the strictest of strict internet settings on our router!

Oh you could Even the “strictest of strict” internet settings are piss easy to get around.

@IAmFleshIAmBone

It's offensive to me that someone who is involved with safeguarding vulnerable people would support an industry that harms people on a massive scale.

Agreed 100%

@LouJ85

just be aware that by contributing to the sex industry you are contributing to the suffering of many.

No. I'm really not.

Keep telling yourself that- you and the woman watching the paid rape of another woman by 30 men- just keep on telling yourselves you're not supporting exploitation and abuse.

@LouJ85

So let me be very clear: I don't believe you, I think you are being disingenuous and wide eyed with 'I dont know what you've been watching

I love how you say this in such a patronising way : "let me very clear".

As if that's going to make me go : "oh fuck, she's serious". 🤣

As I suspect you already know, that phrase was in response to you saying 'Excuse me' and not remotely about how serious I was.

@emilyfrost

I imagine that'll be a popular comment

Yes, amateur only.

I don't see the appeal of Pro porn- the cheesy storyline, the fact everything you see is just actors following a script with maybe a little impro here and there. The sex noises they make are all acted too plus it's "too perfect" eg they will re-film a scene if something isn't just right. etc

For the past decade or two the amount of amateur porn (I mean genuine amateur porn, not the vast amount of Pro porn that pretends to be amateur) has increased because high-speed internet and digital cameras or smartphones with cameras are things pretty much everyone owns today in developed countries. Any couple can film themselves having sex and uploaded it to a video streaming site.

When you watch a video of a real couple having sex you can just tell it's real and that they are genuinely enjoying themselves, and whatever they do is because they want to do not because they are following a script.

For anyone saying "porn is filmed prostitution" you may (or may not) like this joke from Family Guy. Prostitution is illegal in the US and the joke is if you film it that makes it legal "because then it would be porn".

IMO I would not agree that all "porn is paid rape". Some porn is definitely unacceptable and rightly illegal, and it is important a clear distinction is made between such porn and the porn which does portray consensual adults.