I had a conversation with a naive "be kind" sort of person (male) the other day at work, who casually came out with something about sex being basically irrelevant next to gender identity. I reminded him that the sole reason for women's oppression throughout history is biology, i.e. sex. Thankfully he revised his position pretty quickly and looked like he felt a bit silly for having said it in the first place. (I think he is also blissfully unaware of how controversial such a "belief" is these days, and was only parroting the thing about gender because he'd heard lots of other people say it.)
This got me thinking, I'd like to compile a list of some of the crappy things girls/women have to deal with in their everyday lives that men never/rarely do, so that when someone more set in their opinions says "sex is irrelevant", I can say "really? So, have you ever ... ?"
A few to start us off:
… spent the entire day with a jumper tied around your waste to hide the blood stain on your trousers when your period caught you off-guard?
… left a social gathering earlier than you wanted because you realised you didn’t have enough sanpro to get you through the evening?
… made an excuse to not go swimming when you’d like to, because you realise you haven’t done the requisite bikini/leg/armpit maintenance?
… spent hours painfully removing your pubic hair when you didn’t want to, because an intimate male partner told you it was disgusting and you didn't have the confidence to tell him to sod off?
… endlessly plucked/waxed/obsessed over your upper lip hair because it would be a disaster if someone realised that was your natural state?
… taken the route three times as long, just to avoid going down a short alley alone in the dark?
… clutched your keys between your fingers with the “blade” sticking outwards to make you feel like you might stand a chance if attacked by a man, since you know you’ll have no chance based on strength alone?
… asked a family member to track your location when you’re out alone, and told them exactly where they should expect you to be every step of the journey, so they can raise the alarm if something happens to you?
… felt relieved when your company moved to WFH, because you could finally stop putting on a brave face at your desk while in agony on your period?
… worried about judgement from your colleagues when you say you're “feeling ill” a day or two every month?
... had a constant sick feeling in your stomach when out alone in your local area after dark, because you're afraid of being assaulted/mugged?
Please help me flesh out the list further! I’ve only scratched the surface, and I know there are so many more examples, relating to motherhood, career progression, DV, women’s health, general safety, all sorts. I want to rattle off this list next time someone dares suggest that “sex is irrelevant”.