Nowhere is safe from preferred pronouns

[RoxyGrey]

I've seen it all now, just logged into a zoom meeting of fairly senior colleagues to see one had as their zoom name [name] (she/her). It was all I could do to hide my eye-roll.

I mean, why on earth did they feel it necessary to put their pronouns there?? Notably, no one else had theirs in their zoom name, even though some do have it in their email signature. It's not like there was any ambiguity in their appearance either, they were visibly feminine presenting so it's unlikely anyone would be confused.

So is this the next step in compelled speech? Anyone been asked/told to do this yet?

No, and I won’t if I’m asked.

No. But I won't do it if asked either.

Not yet but it's increasingly prevalent in my workplace.

I saw something on twitter the other day saying the term preferred pronouns is transphobic. It's personal pronouns. No preferred about it. There are a hell of a lot of transphobes declaring their preferred pronouns.

I've seen it on a union webinar but not be asked...yet, and I'm not doing it either.

It's creeping in within my workplace, but I won't be engaging, I'd assume if people don't share that info where necessary the shouldn't be pissed off if someone gets it wrong

I did a zoom with a load of academics the other day. Pronouns were proudly displayed. I really think it's just a passing gimmick that will be quietly dropped as all the gender nonsense gets put to bed, I don't pay it too much mind.

I mean, why on earth did they feel it necessary to put their pronouns there??

Do you think they're telling you their pronouns? Or do you think they're telling you something else?

I won't do it. My response will be "I don't want to" if questioned. If questioned further "its personal but I will discuss it out of work if you like". It is a hill I am prepared to climb and roll down many times.

I had to professionally explain to a delegate on an internal training session I was running for a global audience that no, I would not insist on asking everyone to state their pronouns at the start of the session as that would be intrusive and could be seen to be bullying someone. Waiting for the grievance about me to come in..,

Do you think they're telling you their pronouns? Or do you think they're telling you something else?

What they are actually saying is that they're special. And they need everyone to know. And the ones who willingly do it show them that they are amongst their special friends and allies. And the ones that ignore it and don't do it, they will be able to identify as nasty old bigoted terfs. Once the people they hate have been flushed out by refusing to declare their pronouns, they can start a campaign gathering their allies from across the world (with all the super special rainbow butterfly people that just want to pee, and don't want to be unkind) to get the nasty bigoted terf types sacked from their jobs, with maybe a public shaming at the gallows too, as part of their hate campaign against them.

@nauticant

I mean, why on earth did they feel it necessary to put their pronouns there??

Do you think they're telling you their pronouns? Or do you think they're telling you something else?

I'm not sure what you're getting at? I just don't see why announcing/displaying your pronouns is of any relevance. If she'd been called on to speak in the meeting, she would have been referred to by name not by 'her over there'. Or if being referenced it would be 'I think Helen makes a good point' not 'I think she makes a good point'. So it wouldn't matter if she was non-binary and went by they, or if she was of androgynous/ambiguous appearance. It just seems wokery for wokery's sake.

Mine are fuck/off if anyone wants to know...

@Doyoumind

I saw something on twitter the other day saying the term preferred pronouns is transphobic. It's personal pronouns. No preferred about it. There are a hell of a lot of transphobes declaring their preferred pronouns.

Oh blimey! What if you don't really give a shit what pronoun people use for you but on balance would prefer the one that matches your biological sex, can you still use preferred then?

twitter.com/redbreastedbird/status/1333869606835019777?s=20

Here's the excuse not to use them. It's very inconsiderate to compel the use of pronouns.

@ArabellaScott

I did a zoom with a load of academics the other day. Pronouns were proudly displayed. I really think it's just a passing gimmick that will be quietly dropped as all the gender nonsense gets put to bed, I don't pay it too much mind.

I work in HE so perhaps this has filtered down from the academics then, it's the first I've seen of it on zoom and it surprised me.

I'm tempted to change mine to he/him and see if anyone pays any more attention to me.

Because I'm a female on a low grade so ya know, what could I have to say of value.

Compelled pronouns are against the Yogyakarta Principles - can’t remember which bit exactly but it’s not ok to make people state their gender.

I thought the who 'pronouns on your email sign off/bio/zoom name' thing was now supposed to be about solidarity with trans people, so that they don't feel 'outed' as being trans because they have put their pronouns up.

Quite a few of the 'influential' Instagram types (including a couple that I really rolled my eyes at) have started putting 'she/her' in their bio I have noticed recently.

Every time I've been asked to state pronouns or put them in a bio/signature I just ignore it or leave it blank. No one's confronted me about it...yet.

If they do my answer will be:
"Drawing attention to the fact that I'm female has not served me well in the past"

...And if they ask for more information than that then they can expect a half hour lecture about all of the instances of direct and indirect sex discrimination I've faced while at work, as well as a full run down of my experiences of sexual harassment from male colleagues. They will regret they ever asked.

Thankfully hasn’t happened to me yet. Tempted to put she/ the cat’s mother ....

A few people at my work have pronouns in their email signatures & it is a bit harder to take them seriously because of it.

I see it but I’m in a big multinational tech co. The one I really don’t get is where someone who is obviously a woman (for example) says her pronouns are “she/they”. I mean, what? Surely if you’re fine with “she”, the obvious choice that accords with natural speech, you don’t need an alternative that absolutely nobody is going to use anyway?

I don’t specify my pronouns and won’t, for the record. I agree with Empress that it makes me respect people a little bit less. Either because I think they’re sheep who can’t think for themselves, or because they really believe in it. Not sure which is worse.

This hasn't arisen yet but I'm sure it will.
My original plan was to inform HR (when asked) that I considered my gender identity, along with my sexual orientation and religion to be none of their business. However after reading several threads, I now think I'll just say, 'No thanks' and if pressed for more, stick to, 'I don't want to.'
I've decided the less information I give them, the better.