Breastfeeding support group wants to allow males

[user643899]

I am in a Facebook group for breastfeeding support.

There's a new comment from admin asking if we'd be comfortable with males joining the group, then a subsequent poll.

I commented on said poll, "I am a feminist. Call me a terf. Biologically you are male or female. Feel free to identify as what you wish but you cannot change your sex. This group is for breastfeeding. Only females can breastfeed."

I was called a bigot. One comment read, "you aren't a feminist. Feminists want equality for all genders." I responded,"Equality for both sexes, yes. Female is a sex. Feminism derives from the word, female."

Now my original comment has been deleted. I daren't comment again through fear of removal.

I'm upset. This is the group I used when I had thrush. I posted pictures of the thrush on my boob. I can't be comfortable in a group made for my sex.

I would take that to mean the partners of members so they can learn how to support breastfeeding mums. To stop people joining with some kind of fetish (this would be my concern) I would suggest that only men who are in a relationship with a current member can join except in exceptional circumstances

@movingonup20

I would take that to mean the partners of members so they can learn how to support breastfeeding mums. To stop people joining with some kind of fetish (this would be my concern) I would suggest that only men who are in a relationship with a current member can join except in exceptional circumstances

Rtft

Fuck it. Probably outed myself enough.

I asked, "Why have you put mens wants before womens needs?
Also wondering why the chest feeding group didn't work out."

.

But a transwoman who feeds donor milk or their partners milk doesn't need support from a BFing group, the same as LLL not welcoming formula feeding parents as it's not within their aims. If there really is a need for biological men to 'chest feed' then as you have been saying, their own group would be more suitable because the support they require is different to a biological woman. I am astounded all of these places that deal with advising on bodily functions have no grip on biological truth or reality.

I'm ignorant for saying that females will always be female biologically.

Women don't need a female-only breastfeeding group.

Men can breastfeed.

In our society men breastfeeding is seen as weird but it's a cultural norm in other places.

If a poster asked a question using the term, chest feeding and I responded with a link which uses the term breastfeeding then I'm being ignorant.

@Backbee

But a transwoman who feeds donor milk or their partners milk doesn't need support from a BFing group, the same as LLL not welcoming formula feeding parents as it's not within their aims. If there really is a need for biological men to 'chest feed' then as you have been saying, their own group would be more suitable because the support they require is different to a biological woman. I am astounded all of these places that deal with advising on bodily functions have no grip on biological truth or reality.

I thought so too.

Apparently bottle feeding donor milk is considered breastfeeding.

I'm so baffled. These admins have a professional background so I'm concerned about the "females who transition aren't still female, that's ignorant of you!"

I have read the whole thread.

I'm sorry this is happening to you in your group OP and I'm sorry you needed to repay yourself so frequently!

I will be writing to LLL based on the daily Mail article and the other thread.

I suppose it's a question of whether you can hang on and fight from the inside or abandon this group and start a new one or manage without. It's very sad, another female-only space lost. I will never ceased to be amazed by the women who continually throw women under the bus and centre the men but it's where we are at the moment. It won't last forever.

For a person who cannot physically breastfeed without a lot of medical intervention - there will be another specialised group who can address this I’m sure.

Why are valuable resources and finances - and time - being dedicated by this charity (?) / organisation into a groups vanity project? Stealing resources from those it originally set up to helps

*repeat (no repay)

Other thread

La Leche League will support males (of the male sex) who wish to breastfeed. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4091356-La-Leche-League-will-support-males-of-the-male-sex-who-wish-to-breastfeed

Just walk away, OP. You can't reason with these people.

I'm sorry the group that was once a source of support has turned out like this, but they are obviously not open to respectful dialogue about this, so fuck 'em.

Once thing I noticed was the reference to "same sex couples" (in reference to a trans woman with a "cis" woman) and that says it all really, tells you all you need to know.

There are plenty of women (the biologically female kind) who want to breastfeed and are not able to for whatever reason. Bottle feeding is good enough for them. But not for trans women, of course!

This is not about trans men wanting to breastfeed, or chestfeed if that's what they want to call it (I'm doubtful that a trans man who is comfortable enough with their female biology to go through pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding would be at all "triggered" by the word "breastfeeding", but whatever). This is about trans women appropriating female experiences and spaces, as ever.

[quote OhHolyJesus]Other thread

La Leche League will support males (of the male sex) who wish to breastfeed. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4091356-La-Leche-League-will-support-males-of-the-male-sex-who-wish-to-breastfeed[/quote]
Tempting as it is to say - go on then... show me...

( but first birth your baby)

Wtf. Which right on dad wouldn’t accept that his female partners online posting friends don’t want him to see pics of their tits. I’d say it’s very unlikely it’s a dad. And even if it were a dad how many women would concent to men they don’t know possibly seeing intimate pics of their tits and listening by i conversations about them it’s just perverse. Any trans women who want to join don’t need to be admitted because frankly they won’t be breastfeeding anybody. It’s just ridiculous that we even have to have conversations like this. Trans women don’t need breastfeeding support. Bollocks to the nay sayers on that group! Say your piece and if they don’t like it sod em. Start your own group xx

Thank you for the kind comments.

I was seeing if I had any place left in this group. I certainly do not.

Really considering starting a female-only breastfeeding group.

You can’t argue with people like that. Like trying to reason with a toddler having a tantrum.

It all sounds pretty nuts OP.

I'd call bottle feeding with expressed breastmilk, bottle feeding/expressing, which my husband did for one feed of an evening so I could sleep for 5 hours instead of 3. My husband didn't think oh arse I can't be bothered to go warm up that expressed milk I'll just try breastfeeding myself. Has he done so I would have left him and taken my child with me.

It sounds like a good opportunity to gather the names of dissenting opinions in that group, maybe contact those admins who left over this 'inclusive' decision and start again. It could be hard work to start with but very rewarding, just to know there is one female-only place for mothers to breastfeed. It's possible that these places will become more few and far between and you could provide one of them.

Go for it and memorise the EA2010 exemption so if any men turn up, or even some of the women calling you a bigot, you can reel it off and end it with a big 'now fuck off'.

COMFORT SUCKLING ON A MALE BREAST!

How outrageous and offensive to women and babies everywhere…!!!

Where are all these places where men have babies comfort suckling on their nipples? I have never heard of this happening anywhere. If my husband suggested he have our babies comfort suckle his nipples I'd have his bloody hard drive checked and he'd be out the door.

Omfg - and they think they are explaining it to you?!? That’s clear as mud isn’t it. Do they think transwomen are female people that identify or do they think transwomen become women?

Good effort OP but they’re high on the righteous kool aid.

MRC20, that was immediately my thought. The implication was everywhere but the UK.

This is one of the most infuriating threads I’ve ever read. Sorry it’s panning out like this.

Whilst I only have one baby I’m hardly the pillar of experience, I do know that if DP has ever tried to comfort DC with a bare chest he goes nuts. There’s no milk and he can smell it. I think it’ll fizzle out when babies decide for themselves they don’t want to seek comfort from a male chest by suckling.

I think it’ll fizzle out when babies decide for themselves they don’t want to seek comfort from a male chest by suckling

And then what happens? What happens when the baby refuses to validate this person? By either not suckling, or failing to thrive. What happens to the baby with its rampant transphobia?