advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

[happydappy2]

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

It seems fairly clear - if the girls are feeling uncomfortable (picking up some dodgy vibes maybe?) then there is an issue that needs to be addressed. I think girls should be listened to if they express discomfort and certainly be encouraged to trust their instincts. A number of threads on here have described situations that have been averted by this safety mechanism (even avoiding a man who went on to murder as I remember).

I don’t know what the school can offer in terms of a solution but I do think it is important to have a conversation - obviously it is not unknown for a teacher to abuse their position to access vulnerable children.

At the very least I think he should have made his social media private as this may have fuelled the girls concerns.

Teacher friends I know tend to try and live in a different town to their schools, such is the effort they make to keep private and professional life separate.

Eewww. I think the fact that the girls are picking up "creep" vibes from this guy, plus his social media, is a big red flag.

However, whether there's enough in the way of "proof" to go to the head is another matter.

That face book page woukd surely have meant he didn't get an interview.

Must be violating the SM policy

If they are uncomfortable then that's important. He may be sleazy, he may not but hes doing something wrong to make them feel uncomfortable so he needs dealing with, not for them to be shushed and told its fine. And his SM should definitely be private

Surprised they foud his FB, I thought teachers had to have it hidden from searches. Friends who are teachers are all non searchable anyway..assumed it was becase of the job, maybe not a requirement but..a good idea?

I would bring it up with the head if it made me uncomfortable. Honestly, the girls having 'the vibe' would gold more weight with me than the SM thing, but of course gut feelings do not matter in official matters, but that part would concern me as I always listen to my gut..

Hopefully the HT will tell this young man that he is leaving himself open to all sorts of accusations if he doesn't lock down all of his SM.

I have worked with a simialr young man, also in PE. He was outraged that his human rights were being impinged upon... was absolutely detemined that he would not change how he used his SM in order to kow tow to anyone, HT, students, professional bodies, the law etc.

One young male student lodged a complaint about something relatively mild and the repercussions were far, far greater than I could ever have imagined. We, all staff lecturing and otherwise, wer reminded about our SM, given Conduct Guidelines to sign on pain of formal grievance etc. It isn't 'something of nothing' at all!

And that's before you get to what it is about him that makes the girls feel the 'ick'!

Stay with the HT on the social media thing. And support your DD in talking through why she feels uncomfortable and having someone else on staff to talk to, counsellors are good for such stuff, they are hard wored into ALL safeguarding lines.

Don't worry about the young man. If he is sensible, willing to learn how to be a good teacher apart form being an indpendent private individual, he will take the information well and lock his SM down and grow up a bit!

Thanks for the advice-I'm amazed the social media is not all set to private. It was instagram, not FB but easily found by the children.

Or maybe the girls know that this is their free ticket out of PE class. As important as it is to hear them out, let's not jump on the bandwagon immediately.
Re: his social media. That is his own business, not yours. I agree that it would be better to set it to private, but you don't go checking your doctor's sm

@TheSunIsStillShining

Or maybe the girls know that this is their free ticket out of PE class. As important as it is to hear them out, let's not jump on the bandwagon immediately. Re: his social media. That is his own business, not yours. I agree that it would be better to set it to private, but you don't go checking your doctor's sm

No! Professional standards apply

www.careerteachers.co.uk/-/media/careerteachers/images/social-media-guide-for-teachers.pdf

Teachers, GPs and many, many other professionals have additional standards they should meet at all times. For their own protection!

And whilst I would find it abhorrent to tar a young teacher for SM stupidity I also wouldn't be telling any female student that she can't act on her feelings because she may be labelled a shirker or other stereotypical accusation!

@TheSunIsStillShining

Or maybe the girls know that this is their free ticket out of PE class. As important as it is to hear them out, let's not jump on the bandwagon immediately. Re: his social media. That is his own business, not yours. I agree that it would be better to set it to private, but you don't go checking your doctor's sm

See what the headmaster says, but I’m inclined to agree with the above.

Where is he meant to look when they’re doing PE? At the floor, the walls? Where?

It may well be inappropriate, he may be a creep, but I don’t think Instagram will prove it. Unless he does something or says something inappropriate, I’m not sure what you can do. Would these girls feel the same way if it was a woman watching them? Women can abuse too. Tricky one!

Never had female PE teachers .. always male... I had great instructors.. and I hope he makes his social media private fast.. 🌺

I wouldn't want to go to a doctor who had creepy sexualised social media content. It's not the teacher's own business because his SM is public

At best this young man has a poor understanding of appropriateness. Certainly not a great starting point for someone who works with young girls. I would take your daughter seriously irrespective of that though.

Personally, I don’t think anyone should be fired for what they put on their SM unless it’s illegal or threatening violence. I think we should stick to this given we want to protect feminist thinkers from being fired for “transphobia” (eg Maya). There are ways to have this conversation without resorting to outright censorship.

Nevertheless, if the girls are creeped out their feelings should 100% be taken seriously. They should be advised that the school takes safeguarding seriously and that there are measures in place that ensure that no teacher will be able to harm a student. It might be explained for example that teachers are never to be alone with a student, or touch a student beyond a handshake, and that depending on context this could be a firable offense. Or whatever other safeguards there are.

Honestly if he’s a decent guy he will probably be horribly embarrassed once he learns his students are seeing his insta and will go private/anonymous voluntarily.

Women can abuse too.
True, but it's not unreasonable to be warier of men, because men commit the majority of abusive crimes. Most men are not creepy. Enough are that extra vigilance seems understandable. Especially when it comes to kids.

@TheSunIsStillShining

Or maybe the girls know that this is their free ticket out of PE class. As important as it is to hear them out, let's not jump on the bandwagon immediately. Re: his social media. That is his own business, not yours. I agree that it would be better to set it to private, but you don't go checking your doctor's sm

If a (male) doctor had made me feel uncomfortable about something, especially if there was a hint of sexualisation about it, then yes, I would check out his Social Media, and if o then saw that his activity supported my feelings of discomfort, then yes, I think that certainly would be an issue.

I think there are two issues here:-

1. the fact that some girls are finding him watching them doing PE creepy. As others say, they should be taken seriously.

1. the inappropriate, publicly available social media feed. Of course people can post/follow who and what they like on social media (within the law obvs) but it's not appropriate to have a public profile with sexualised photos of young women when you're employed to work in any capacity with children.

It's not a good look in any job role, but way out of order if you work in a school. It's not difficult to use a different name that your students can't find you by or set up a private account.

Women can abuse too.

This seems to be 'pointed out' on a LOT of threads in FWR recently. Along with loads of NAMALT. Almost like posting on AIBU these days. This seems a newish development.

CuriousaboutSamphire

"Teachers, GPs and many, many other professionals have additional standards they should meet at all times. For their own protection!"

Exactly this. When I took the level 3 Personal Trainer course a few years ago, there was a whole module on safeguarding, how to act around children (and adults) and keeping SM private. What this PE teacher has done would strike up the red flag.

This seems to be 'pointed out' on a LOT of threads in FWR recently. Along with loads of NAMALT.

There’s a lot more right wingers latching on lately. I blame the US political scene. As people used to say on GC reddit “the Donald is leaking”

What this PE teacher has done would strike up the red flag. And that has been the case for what 20 years? So he is being obtuse, at best. But, as I said, I've worked with some obstinate cusses who were determined they were exempt because... summink summink summink

I'm conflicted over this. Shouldn't the teacher be watching them? That's his job isn't it? If one of them were to have an accident or if there was a fight that broke out and he didn't react quickly enough, because he didn't see it because he wasn't watching, would he be in trouble?

As for Instagram...has he put any inappropriate comments? Or he just follows them?

Most of out PE teachers were male at school and I can't imagine complaining because they were watching us. In fact we knew we were being watched all the time so had to behave because we would get into trouble.

At the same time, if he is watching them in a creepy way and saying inappropriate things/acting inappropriately, then this should definitely be investigated.

As an aside...maybe also have a word with the kids that they shouldn't go stalking teachers on social media, that it is inappropriate.

What solution would you like to this situation?

Looking at someone's social media feed isn't stalking.

If people don't want to be found, they use private accounts or a different name.

I don't think the children have don't anything wrong here.

As an aside...maybe also have a word with the kids that they shouldn't go stalking teachers on social media, that it is inappropriate. Are you kidding? That's the first thing they do when you start teaching them! They think it's the best thing ever if they find you!

I've had an open facebook stream for decades. Most of my students (when I was still teaching) found it quite easily and assumed I was a total SM numpty. It made them stop looking, hassling me. They had no reason to know I was an IT bod before I was a teacher! My real accounts have always been locked down!

It's part of any teacher training course and has been for a couple of decades!

Um. I am not sure.

As far as the bodybuilders go, sure, he may get a thrill out of them. However, it's also pretty standard for them to ear bathing suits that are barely there, just as it is for male bodybuilders. I think you might have a hard time finding one that doesn't.

But if the girls just don't like the way he looks at them, I am not sure how meaningful that is. My experience at that age was that a lot of young women rather like to make a controversy and gossip about their teachers and especially the PE ones, and once a rumour like that starts everyone goes around looking for any little thing they can spin into something else.

I tend to think it's better for teens to have PE teachers of the same sex as themselves in part for that reason, as well as several other good ones, but that doesn't seem to be the way of thinking at the moment.

Any male PE teacher if he's any good should be aware of how he is interacting with his girl pupils, it's all part of reflective practice. He should be eager for feedback. His Instagram account is a flag that he needs proper mentoring and supervision.