advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

[happydappy2]

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

@BullBaileyyou've misread something somewhwere and put words into OPs mouth! Back up a step and start again before that error!

CuriousaboutSamphire BullBailey quoted exactly what the OP posted. I think you're the one who needs to back up a step.

Poor guy he has a lot to learn. Despite using all the privacy settings my DD now uses my maiden name on SM as her surname was unusual for the area we lived in and she was constantly getting friends requests from her students.

What?!?! Where did OP say he was creepy?

She said the girls feel uncomfortable when he is watching... she didn't even phrase it as HE MADE THEM feel uncomfortable!! She as really measured - and that depsite her obvious preference for female PE teachers!

OTHER pps have used the word creepy! And that's down to how they view it.. but OP did not! Take it up with them!

Even the part of the OP quoted doesn't back you up, any of you! You just inferred it, based on your own experience, perceptions etc.

Cheek to try and impugn that to the OP!

@CuriousaboutSamphire

What?!?! Where did OP say he was creepy?

She said the girls feel uncomfortable when he is watching... she didn't even phrase it as HE MADE THEM feel uncomfortable!! She as really measured - and that depsite her obvious preference for female PE teachers!

OTHER pps have used the word creepy! And that's down to how they view it.. but OP did not! Take it up with them!

Even the part of the OP quoted doesn't back you up, any of you! You just inferred it, based on your own experience, perceptions etc.

Cheek to try and impugn that to the OP!

She did say the girls don't want to be weirded out by their PE teacher. She stated the girls have the right not to be "forced" to see who he follows/sexualised images of who he follows.

Potayto. Potato.

OP's undertone is not as measured as you seem to think.

Oh fgs.

The OP has taken it upon herself that the girls telling her he "makes them feel uncomfortable" is sufficient, with apparently no further questioning or explanation, to start investigating his private life and asking for advice on whether she should complain to the headmaster.

What on earth is "makes them feel uncomfortable" supposed to mean?

Yet it is more measured than is being claimed!

It does make a difference, especially in light of the actions OP says she has taken so far - which are not out of line at all!

It's not potayto potato it is an escalation of what was said, additional angst etc. Not at all fair on OP. Misleading at best!

It's the same uplift in langauge that causes the problems being discussed, ie an teacher being unfarly branded - you are engaging in a form of Chinese Whispers!

Thank you for all the helpful comments and goodbye to all the agitators who have no regard for safeguarding-which is why there are rules for teachers regarding SM-their accounts SHOULD be private-thats been confirmed by the Head Teacher.

Always illuminating to see people leap to the defence of a grown up man who frankly, should know better, and belittle the teenage girls and the Woman raising concerns....

OP's undertone is not as measured as you seem to think

It most definitely isn't and CuriousaboutSamphire is splitting hairs.

What on earth is "makes them feel uncomfortable" supposed to mean? Huh?!?!

Oh, I get it. We are playing the double standards, quick reverse whilst you weren't looking game!

OK. You win.

[Goes off to walk the dog wondering what happened to critical thinking]

Of course they actually weren’t, but it’s a common thing for kids to say

Well yes they were, actually. Quite a few teachers were perverts and creeps, and not just in the PE department either. One of my teachers was having sex with a girl in the year above me. One of my friends at the age of 14 was 'seeing' one of the PE teachers. It wasn't that uncommon, and no one did anything about it.

Not sure why all these people have arrived to defend the poor creepy PE teacher but of course the OP is right to be concerned and to raise the issue. It's absolutely fair that teachers should have a private life which is unsuitable for students to know anything about, but that does entail making their social media private. And we definitely shouldn't assume that it must be made up or even malicious nonsense when the girls are saying he makes them uncomfortable. Maybe they are just used to having a female teacher and it seems strange. But his instagram is a problem in and of itself - imagine you're a pubescent girl trying to do PE while worrying that the teacher is comparing you in his mind to all these bikini models he follows.

Also, don't assume that women are lying when they tell you about abusive and predatory males they encountered as young girls. It is common. Almost every woman can tell you of such an encounter from when she was a girl.

Always illuminating to see people leap to the defence of a grown up man who frankly, should know better, and belittle the teenage girls and the Woman raising concerns....

You haven't given the slightest hint of an explanation about why the girls feel uncomfortable about a PE teacher watching them do PE.

How do you think a PE teacher could do his or her job without looking at their pupils?

@happydappy2

The Head has got back to me & is reminding all staff that their social media should be private, for their own protection. I think this is right (& am surprised it was not already policy.)

We will see how things go-but the damage has already been done-the children have seen the sexualised images and already feel uncomfortable around him. A good female PE teacher would be my preference for this age group of girls. They are not looking to get out of PE, they want to participate but not feel wierded out by their teacher.

The damage has already been done You mean the teenage girls social - media stalked there teacher and saw images of female body builders? Quick pass the smelling salts!

Have you actually seen these 'offensive' images OP? What is it about images of female athletes that you're so concerned about - surely you should be encouraging your daughter to follow strong female role models?

What exactly is the teacher doing that is making them uncomfortable?

I'm all for acting on instincts and think the gift of fear should be required reading for all women and girls but honestly this sounds like teen girl bitchiness to a new teacher/resistance to change.
The poor bloke hasn't actually done anything wrong and his SM whilst it should be locked, is following other sporting professionals which seems entirely appropriate.

I honestly think you need to talk to your daughter about respecting others privacy and examine your own biases that considers female athletes to be 'indecent'

What on earth is "makes them feel uncomfortable" supposed to mean?Huh?!?!

Oh, I get it. We are playing the double standards, quick reverse whilst you weren't looking game!

I have no idea what you are on about.

@Veterinari

This. It's no wonder people are "leaping" to his defence, OP. It literally does not seem like he's done anything wrong.

@DidoLamenting

What on earth is "makes them feel uncomfortable" supposed to mean?Huh?!?!

Oh, I get it. We are playing the double standards, quick reverse whilst you weren't looking game!

I have no idea what you are on about.

Hahahaha

Sporty PE teacher following athletes on social media... wouldn’t have reported that to a head teacher.!

Maybe his line manager should have a word with him about setting his social media to private.

But he's not even posting these photos himself?
So they've searched for him... then found accounts he follows and gone into those accounts to see the photos posted (not by him).

But yes, he should have his account private.

OP what exactly is it that he's doing that makes the girls feel uncomfortable?

I hate that him following sports women is automatically seen as sexual. Maybe he admires bodybuilders. All bodybuilders show off their bodies, don't they. I see this all the time, a little boy admires a woman and everyone's like ooooh you really LIKE her. Maybe her admires her, you know, for her skills, but he soon learns not to say so.

@happydappy2

Thank you for all the helpful comments and goodbye to all the agitators who have no regard for safeguarding-which is why there are rules for teachers regarding SM-their accounts SHOULD be private-thats been confirmed by the Head Teacher.

Always illuminating to see people leap to the defence of a grown up man who frankly, should know better, and belittle the teenage girls and the Woman raising concerns....

There's not much to defend though bar his lack of SM security which might not be mandatory. We are encouraged to have our profiles locked down but we don't HAVE to do so. It's for the teacher's sake,not to safeguard pupils.

My profile is private,the name on it has no relation to my real name. A parent or two still managed to find me because they're friends with parents in DD's class(different schools). Not just that,but they try to add me too. I always ignore.

Not sure why all these people have arrived to defend the poor creepy PE teacher but of course the OP is right to be concerned and to raise the issue.

The poor creepy PE teacher? There’s literally nothing in here that suggests he’s done anything wrong beyond not locking down his Instagram account. Also, if he’s a PE teacher, following female athletes and bikini models isn’t as weird as you think, as he’s probably into fitness. I agree it should be locked but that’s the only wrong thing he’s done. I think the OP’s DD and her friends need to get over their ‘discomfort’ at his Instagram following.

The fact that a lot of women encounter creepy men doesn’t mean that this guy has done something wrong. Most rational people realise that we can’t convict or sack people based purely on intuition. It can do enormous damage.

Still no explantion from the OP about the statement the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE

How exactly does a PE teacher supervise a class without watching them?

Did the OP ask for any concrete examples to justify this feeling?

OP what exactly is it that he's doing that makes the girls feel uncomfortable?

From what the OP has told us - watching and existing. I assume we're not talking about Joe Biden levels of making young women feel uncomfortable.

The fact that a lot of women encounter creepy men doesn’t mean that this guy has done something wrong. Most rational people realise that we can’t convict or sack people based purely on intuition.

I agree. That is obviously a wrong interpretation of my argument if you think that's what I said or meant.

And maybe he's not creepy. Either way he definitely should be locking his SM down and the fact that he hasn't has caused a problem with his students which now needs to somehow be resolved. I would expect any conscientious teacher in this situation to be reflecting and learning from this.

And maybe he's not creepy. Either way he definitely should be locking his SM down and the fact that he hasn't has caused a problem with his students which now needs to somehow be resolved. I would expect any conscientious teacher in this situation to be reflecting and learning from this.

Yes, he was stupid not to do that and hopefully he will learn from it. I don’t work at a school, I work at a university. I have been blocked by colleagues on SM due to who I followed (have since deleted SM). Apparently me following some gender critical feminists meant that I was a hateful and problematic person. So I am quite sensitive about people being tainted by association just because of their social media. Following someone doesn’t mean you endorse them and nor do fitness models dressing scantily constitute anything inappropriate. Body building is literally all about showing off your body and it’s about strength rather than sex. People need to allow teachers to have a private life and stop being offended if they find something they don’t like when they are the ones snooping.

@happydappy2

Thank you for all the helpful comments and goodbye to all the agitators who have no regard for safeguarding-which is why there are rules for teachers regarding SM-their accounts SHOULD be private-thats been confirmed by the Head Teacher.

Always illuminating to see people leap to the defence of a grown up man who frankly, should know better, and belittle the teenage girls and the Woman raising concerns....

OP as you still haven't explained what it is about him watching the girls that makes them uncomfortable, I can no longer assume you are posting in good faith. Carry on with the witch hunt.