advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

[happydappy2]

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

I think the linking of "male teacher has open social media account with pictures sadly all too common in today's society all over it" with "teacher is making my underage daughter uncomfortable by watching her" with all that that implies, is not ok.
I think much of Instagram is disgusting and I think the endless female flesh on display is harmful both to women and men of all ages. I also think predatory males in teaching should be routed out. I do not think that any male pe teacher given a class with girls in it should be viewed as being a predator without any evidence whatsoever.

@Kcar

And what are the parents if the girls on Instagram doing to allow their underage daughters to pose in such sexualised ways? I do hope you have reported that to insta op

I Don’t think they are underage girls...! OP
Said women and Young women in the OP.

@happydappy2

mistresslggi unsurprisingly the children aren't with me now, so I can't ask them what exactly makes them feel uncomfortable. The point of the thread was asking if it was appropriate for a PE teacher to follow girls who post pictures in barely there bikinis, posing in an overly sexual way (not just body builders-read the OP peeps.) showing lots of boobs & bums. That is the point of the thread.

This post says he follows girls.

But of course I’ll bet the op means women. And the girls are of age.

This is all getting stirred up by teenagers to a male teacher because they’re pissed off that their nice female pe teacher is off on maternity leave.

There is no evidence this man has behaved in any way inappropriately.

I’m surprised his social media is not set on private. 9 year olds being on social media is also an issue, it’s far too young. That’s not a criticism of the children, more the parents. @Goosefoot is absolutely right about the fitness industry. Body builders very often do very risqué photoshoots.

Year 9 not 9 years old, Jennifer.

This post says he follows girls

That's the OP's words. "Girls/ young women" have very flexible meanings on FWR.

Whether you agree with his choice in who he follows on Insta or not I don’t believe school’s SM policies would cover what accounts you follow as long as they’re not stuff like EDL etc.

His insta should be locked but if he isn’t posting or making public comments I can’t see how a school social media policy can have any say over whether he follows bikini models or not.

I follow fitness instructors and bikini competitors as some are my RL friends, some are just inspo. I also follow horror movie creature effect makers and horror film accounts. My SM is private but just because I work with kids shouldn’t mean in my private time I can’t view things that are in appropriate for kids.

@NiceGerbil

I find it pretty depressing that on FWR the advice to a girl who is unsettled by a man (any man) is. He's done nothing wrong. Ignore it. He's probably a great guy and it's not fair on him to feel like that when he's done nothing. Etc etc

Creep radar should always be listened to. Telling girls stuff like this means that don't have the tools to get out in time in other circs. Don't be rude. It's not fair to think that. He's not done anything wrong...

A nope from me.

The advice is for the mum, who already complained to the school and is bothered about who the PE teacher follows. The head has dealt with that , and stated he should've had his account private. Most of us agree with that.

That doesn't mean her daughter should befriend the teacher,bake him cookies,spend time with him alone or anything bar doing her PE lesson, where the only complaint is that they are uncomfortable with him watching them.

What exactly makes them uncomfortable and why is not yet clear.

The school can't do anything about a feeling ,especially if it's not backed by behaviour. I mean,I suppose they could swap him for another teacher but that would depend on staffing resources and could cause other issues.

I think it's very inappropriate for your daughter and her friends to be stalking their male teachers social media. He should have it private but it's not nudes - it's swimwear and body builders and he is a sporty person.

But of course I’ll bet the op means women. And the girls are of age.
Most likely they'll be adult women, but younger than the parents of secondary aged students and the OP knows calling them girls further fits the narrative they're trying to create.

If he's done something wrong or behaved unprofessionally then it needs reporting and investigating. What concerns me is that (specific issue aside) this could be another case of parents and students don't like new teacher so create drama, which happens more often than you'd imagine.

@NiceGerbil

I find it pretty depressing that on FWR the advice to a girl who is unsettled by a man (any man) is. He's done nothing wrong. Ignore it. He's probably a great guy and it's not fair on him to feel like that when he's done nothing. Etc etc

Creep radar should always be listened to. Telling girls stuff like this means that don't have the tools to get out in time in other circs. Don't be rude. It's not fair to think that. He's not done anything wrong...

A nope from me.

Exactly, there seem to be a number of posters I haven’t seen before who are very quick to dismiss what those teenage girls are saying and accusing them of being manipulative and over dramatic. These posters have no knowledge of the girls or indeed the teacher but claim that he is being unfairly targeted. Why are they so keen that we dismiss what these girls are saying and minimising and ridiculing the situation?

Op has raised a genuine concern and it is important that these girls are listened to. When we don’t listen to what girls are saying we increase the risk of situations like Jimmy Saville and various other getting away with things in plain sight. Is that what these other posters would prefer?

Op, I think you are very sensible to raise it with the HT in the way that you have.

@LolaSmiles

But of course I’ll bet the op means women. And the girls are of age. Most likely they'll be adult women, but younger than the parents of secondary aged students and the OP knows calling them girls further fits the narrative they're trying to create.

If he's done something wrong or behaved unprofessionally then it needs reporting and investigating. What concerns me is that (specific issue aside) this could be another case of parents and students don't like new teacher so create drama, which happens more often than you'd imagine.

I agree completely with you. I’ve seen a young man’s life and career destroyed over false allegations. And the op is whipping up the drama.

I’d have told my daughter to stop stalking her teacher on Instagram. Year 9 is old enough to know better.

@garden ok what should the school do in this situation though?
What has the teacher actually done that the girls should be listened about?
They are uncomfortable with him watching them during a PE lesson. That's all we know. We don't know if he's leering,if it's due to his behaviour,if he made comments, or if it's just because he's a man and they had a female teacher so far.

So ,please tell me how can we listen to the girls and what actions could the school/OP do based on a feeling?

Which apparently is not even the problem, since OP is focusing on who he follows on Instagram as her main complaint/issue.

Checking a persons social media profile is NOT stalking

@NiceGerbil

I find it pretty depressing that on FWR the advice to a girl who is unsettled by a man (any man) is. He's done nothing wrong. Ignore it. He's probably a great guy and it's not fair on him to feel like that when he's done nothing. Etc etc

Creep radar should always be listened to. Telling girls stuff like this means that don't have the tools to get out in time in other circs. Don't be rude. It's not fair to think that. He's not done anything wrong...

A nope from me.

What does this mean though in terms of consequences for this man due to someone’s ‘creep radar’? Should he not be allowed to teach that class? Should he not be allowed to teach at all? I don’t think comments by teenage girls should be treated as gospel. If he has actually done or said anything that warrants acting upon that is different but imagine yourself in this person’s shoes. People, including teens, sometime take a disliking to someone and it’s not always justified. None of these girls have to be alone with this man so I think the risk to them is fairly small if all the complaint relates to is that he watches them (which he has to if he is a PE teacher). Unless anything actually happens, I would tread VERY carefully with this one.

They should know better. And he’s an adult and I assume the women he follows are also over 18?

He has done NOTHING. if he had you’d be complaining about that to the school and not his Instagram

Oh and she said Instagram people.

You can put your account on private but that can't stop people seeing who you follow. Which is clearly why the girls only looked at that. The likelihood is that his account is as private as possible.

Oh I didn’t know that about insta.

Surely as a PE teacher he is likely to follow fitness accounts on insta.

@happydappy2

Checking a persons social media profile is NOT stalking

Have the girls ever checked the female teacher's SM profiles?

All these new posters. Hmmm

How can the objectification of women, not all of whom were bodybuilders, be so ok? I don't want my daughters believing that this is their role, to look a certain way in order that men follow them.

Yuck.

Just because it is normal, doesn't mean that it is acceptable or right.

The looking at SM came after the discomfort and somewhat seemed to confirm suspicions.

Please don't just dismiss their discomfort, until it is known what it arose from. He doesn't automatically get a free pass and OP is right to worry.

Happy it was good to raise it with the headteacher

Hope you get a resolution you and your daughter are happy with

Sounds to me the opposite. Sounds like normal teenage girls who actually fancy the young pe teacher. And cue the "ooh he's looking at me " etc etc he's bloody teaching them of course he's watching them .
Why else would they be 'stalkng' his insta account. Sounds like he's following body builders accounts. Entirely innocent