advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

[happydappy2]

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

I assume that part of the issue is personal experience.

I found my 2 female PE teachers at school watching us so closely in the communal showers creepy. Too much up and down staring. They were in a relationship with each other, we had caught them out several times.

I also caught my geography and music teachers out. They eventually married. I must have bad timing.

I felt uncomfortable as a teenager on too many occasions which ended badly for me.

If my kids feel uncomfortable, therefore, which they don't often, I listen.

I’m a teacher and I follow a lot of female athletes on social media because I am interested in their successes. My SM is private, but if I comment on one of their public posts and a student sees it and tells their parents should I get in trouble? The kids were wrong to harass the teachers social media, most schools have a safer use policy for the internet - ours includes the use of social media for both staff and students and they mentions not searching each other.

Also, year 9 girls can be the most unfriendly in terms of being a new teacher, to me it sounds like they’ve got a vendetta against him and they are trying to use his gender against him. If an all boys group didn’t want a teacher as they were female would the reaction be the same?

mistresslggi unsurprisingly the children aren't with me now, so I can't ask them what exactly makes them feel uncomfortable. The point of the thread was asking if it was appropriate for a PE teacher to follow girls who post pictures in barely there bikinis, posing in an overly sexual way (not just body builders-read the OP peeps.) showing lots of boobs & bums. That is the point of the thread.

It is absolutely appropriate for him to follow whomever he chooses.

Female athletes and male athletes too don’t wear many clothes depending on the sport. He’s a pe teacher. Of course he’s going to follow sports people.

I found my 2 female PE teachers at school watching us so closely in the communal showers creepy. Too much up and down staring

If my kids feel uncomfortable, therefore, which they don't often, I listen

And presumably ask why they feel uncomfortable? The OP hasn't given any concrete examples like your one above beyond he watches the girls doing PE.

@DidoLamenting

Yes, of course I would. Because teenagers can be very manipulative.

so I can't ask them what exactly makes them feel uncomfortable

That would have been my first question - long before posting on here.

Yep I’m going to go all out and say that someone who views female bodies in this way has no business teaching PE to teenage girls. Full stop. Now more than ever girls need the message that they’re doing PE to keep themselves healthy and strong, not to make their bodies look a certain way for men’s viewing pleasure.

His social media should be shut down so kids can't look at it!! The school should have rules about that. Inappropriate.

Following accounts of grown women on Instagram doesn’t mean he’s a nonce perving on teenagers/children during his job.

@happydappy2

mistresslggi unsurprisingly the children aren't with me now, so I can't ask them what exactly makes them feel uncomfortable. The point of the thread was asking if it was appropriate for a PE teacher to follow girls who post pictures in barely there bikinis, posing in an overly sexual way (not just body builders-read the OP peeps.) showing lots of boobs & bums. That is the point of the thread.

It's his business who he follows. His only mistake was that he didn't make his account private.

Can I just remind everybody that this is the feminism and women’s rights board. It is ok to raise red flags but the NAMALT and “but women abuse too “ remarks are not helpful .

Happydappy your attitude really isn't helpful. Are you telling me that prior to me asking, it did not occur to you to ask your dd what she found uncomfortable? You just thought you would post that statement on mumsnet having looked for no further insight at all? Very odd.

Sorry ,just saw you said girls. Does that mean he follows accounts of under 18s?

@happydappy2

mistresslggi unsurprisingly the children aren't with me now, so I can't ask them what exactly makes them feel uncomfortable. The point of the thread was asking if it was appropriate for a PE teacher to follow girls who post pictures in barely there bikinis, posing in an overly sexual way (not just body builders-read the OP peeps.) showing lots of boobs & bums. That is the point of the thread.

And why wouldn't it be appropriate? He's a grown man, following grown women on instagram. Shock horror.

@Angryresister

Can I just remind everybody that this is the feminism and women’s rights board. It is ok to raise red flags but the NAMALT and “but women abuse too “ remarks are not helpful .

This man has, on the face of it, done nothing to any of these girls.

He should have had his social media locked down but other than that he has done nothing wrong.

@Angryresister

Can I just remind everybody that this is the feminism and women’s rights board. It is ok to raise red flags but the NAMALT and “but women abuse too “ remarks are not helpful .

I think there has been one post saying that.

Other posters have been asking what the teacher actually did to make the girls feel uncomfortable. It's now clear the OP has no idea as she never thought of asking before posting on here.

It's really important that girls don't suppress their weird/ creepy men filter. If he makes them feel uncomfortable then he makes them feel uncomfortable.

Head is going to remind teachers to lock down social media- good.

Obviously a girl or girls getting uncomfortable isn't something you can act on. However, please do say to DD thanks for telling me. Keep an eye out for each other. Trust your instincts.

And what are the parents if the girls on Instagram doing to allow their underage daughters to pose in such sexualised ways? I do hope you have reported that to insta op.

I am very surprised to see so much support for a teacher publicly following sexualised content on Instagram. It's obvious why some girls will feel creeped out by that. Plus there's the weirdness of role models like teachers normalising the sexualisation of women to teenage boys.

I find it pretty depressing that on FWR the advice to a girl who is unsettled by a man (any man) is. He's done nothing wrong. Ignore it. He's probably a great guy and it's not fair on him to feel like that when he's done nothing. Etc etc

Creep radar should always be listened to. Telling girls stuff like this means that don't have the tools to get out in time in other circs. Don't be rude. It's not fair to think that. He's not done anything wrong...

A nope from me.

He’s a PE teacher. Teaching girls PE. Which means he has to look at them.

How do you suggest he does his job?

I'm all for acting on instincts and think the gift of fear should be required reading for all women and girls but honestly this sounds like teen girl bitchiness to a new teacher/resistance to change.
The poor bloke hasn't actually done anything wrong and his SM whilst it should be locked, is following other sporting professionals which seems entirely appropriate
I'm inclined to agree here.
He should have had his social media locked down, precisely because theres people out there who will stalk staff online and then complain if they don't like what they see.
Men and women bodybuilder wear very little. It's not a sexy thing. The OP repeatedly claiming it is sounds more like trying to create a narrative that fits the conclusions she's heard from her daughter than trying to be objective. The OP's reaction makes me wonder if theres a bit of over-dramatics going on with the girls too.

Obviously, if there is a safeguarding concern, or he has done something unprofessional then it should be reported, taken seriously and investigated, but a few girls taking a dislike to someone and a parent insisting body building equals publicly sharing sexual content sounds a bit off to me.